Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What happens when a mum posts a video of tidying her teenager’s messy bedroom? Internet outrage. Some called it enabling. Others said it was love. In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie cut through the noise and answer the real question: should parents be tidying their teens’ rooms - or teaching responsibility another way? You’ll discover what really matters when it comes to chores, gratitude, and raising kids who contribute at home without constant conflict. KEY POINTS: Why social media turned a simple act of love into a war of opinions The difference between helping your teen and enabling them How chores build gratitude, contribution, and teamwork Why kids don’t always see what parents do—and why that’s normal Practical ways to reset chores without the constant nagging The surprising truth: sometimes it’s okay to just tidy up QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“The most important principle isn’t who cleans the room—it’s that everyone contributes.” RE

Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match. Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight. KEY POINTS Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion. Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations. Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility. Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities. How better sleep restores calm for the whole household. QUOTE OF THE E

Are we protecting our kids too much? Today we tackle the controversial topic of risky play — climbing trees, speeding down hills, roughhousing, even handling tools. The things that make parents anxious might actually be the very things kids need most. Discover why risk is essential for resilience, confidence, and courage — and how to give your child the freedom to play without pushing them too far. KEY POINTS Why “risky play” isn’t dangerous play — it’s just play the way we grew up. The Canadian Paediatric Society’s 9 types of risky play (and how to try them at home). Why broken arms aren’t the worst thing, but bubble-wrapping kids might be. The surprising link between risky play and lower anxiety in children. Five simple ways to say yes to risk while keeping things developmentally appropriate. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“You want your kids to be as safe as necessary — not as safe as possible.” RESOURCES & RELEVANT LINKS Jonathan Haidt, A

Think teens can’t have fun without booze? Think again. In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie share the behind-the-scenes of hosting an 18th birthday that was loud, laughter-filled - and completely alcohol-free. From a $9.99 Bunnings “doorbell hack” every parent of a gamer needs, to setting clear boundaries that still let kids feel free, you’ll hear how the Coulson's created connection and unforgettable memories without the hangover. KEY POINTS The $9.99 Bunnings wireless doorbell that stops the endless “DINNER!” yelling at teens in headphones. How to host a high-energy, alcohol-free party teens actually rave about. Teaching kids they don’t need substances to have fun or belong. Using “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” reflections to guide weekly family growth. A fresh take on schooling: why one daughter chose a vocational “industry school” and how alternative pathways (and gap years) can set kids up for success.

“Mum, I’m bored!” Sound familiar? In a world of endless screens and instant entertainment, boredom feels like a problem to fix. But what if it’s actually a hidden superpower? Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the science of boredom - why the right kind helps kids grow more creative, independent, and emotionally steady, and when it tips into trouble. Get quick, practical ideas to turn those “I’m bored!” moments into brain-boosting opportunities. KEY POINTS Good vs. Bad Boredom: Occasional boredom in a stimulating environment builds creativity, resilience, and emotional regulation. Chronic boredom in an empty environment links to anxiety and risky behaviour. Screens & Overstimulation: Devices hijack attention, prevent true mental rest, and can increase long-term boredom. The Brain on Boredom: When attention fades, the Default Mode Network activates - fueling imagination, identity-building, and problem-solving. Practical Parenting: Don’t rush to entertain. Pr

Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen. KEY POINTS Why modern apps use gambling-style tactics and AI to keep kids scrolling. How heavy screen use weakens the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that manages focus, planning, and emotional control. Simple, science-backed steps to reset family screen habits and return kids to the “driver’s seat.” Practical advice for conversations that don’t turn into shouting matches. Why social connection doesn’t have to mea

Do you really trust your teen to manage their phone—and the algorithm—alone? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a Gold Coast mum’s burning question: should parents rely on filtering apps or on trust? Justin shares his eye-opening experiment pretending to be a teenage boy on Instagram (and what the algorithm served up), while Kylie explains why this isn’t just a “trust” issue—it’s a maturity issue. Together they reveal how to set limits that actually protect kids, build accountability, and still keep the relationship strong. Key Points Why filters aren’t foolproof—and why blind trust is even riskier The hidden danger of “friendly” algorithms that quickly escalate to violent or explicit content Justin’s experiment that turned his feed dark in just two weeks The 3 E’s of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, Empower How to create family tech agreements that work—and stick Quote of the Episode “W

Your sweet preschooler just turned into a pint-sized whirlwind—kicking, screaming, and even hitting.Before you panic or punish, listen in. Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why three-year-olds lash out, why it’s actually developmentally normal, and the calm, practical steps that help them (and you) find peace. Key Points Why hitting at age three is common—and not a sign you’re raising a violent teen. The real drivers: big emotions, low impulse control, limited language. Three core responses: stay regulated, set clear limits, redirect with movement or creative outlets. After the storm: empathic conversations and rehearsal for “next time.” Prevention tips: check the HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed) and keep screen time low. Quote of the Episode “Regulating emotions is harder than learning to walk or tie shoelaces. Your job is to stay the adult while your child learns.” – Dr Justin Coulson Resources Mentioned Little People, Big Feelings [Web

What will your kids remember most about you? It’s probably not what you think…  Ever felt Father’s Day pressure - the gifts, the expectations, the hope it all comes together? In this episode, Justin & Kylie open up about low expectations, the best Father’s Day prank ever, and the moments that mattered most. From frisbee at the beach to chaotic family games, to the one phrase Justin’s kids say defined their childhood, this conversation is raw, funny, and surprisingly moving. KEY POINTS: Why one Aussie school pushed back against iPads in primary years Sabrina Carpenter’s new album NOT for children The tie prank that left every dad at church matching Why simple, spontaneous family time beats curated “perfect” events “Push Dad off the Bed” - the family game still loved by teens and young adults The phrase Justin’s kids treasure most: People matter. Things don’t. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website Send us a voice memo: po

When cookbook author and influencer Sarah’s holiday plans with her 6-year-old were suddenly stamped “unauthorised,” it lit up headlines — and sparked a question every parent asks: Is a week off school really that big a deal? In this episode, Justin and Kylie dive into the tug-of-war between school rules and family priorities. Do term-time holidays harm learning, or can real-life experiences sometimes matter more? You’ll hear the research, the rules (state by state), and the reality for families just trying to make it work. KEY POINTS The viral story that sparked the debate: Sarah’s denied leave mid-flight. Why rules vary wildly depending on your postcode (NSW vs. QLD vs. VIC). What the research really says about missing school — even just a few days. The cost factor: why many families can’t afford school-holiday travel. When family connection, culture, and life experience outweigh the timetable. Practical tips for working with schools to find a middle ground.

School refusal and absence are at crisis levels. More than 40% of students are missing at least 10% of school days — and it’s only getting worse. Behind every statistic is a child struggling with anxiety, chronic illness, or the weight of a system that doesn’t fit. In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Megan Gilmour, CEO of Missing School and 2025 ACT Australian of the Year. Megan’s own son battled a life-threatening illness that kept him from school for years, and her advocacy has since transformed the way we think about education, connection, and support for kids who can’t physically be in the classroom. If you’re worried about your child’s school avoidance — whether from illness, anxiety, or overwhelm — this episode will give you both hope and practical direction. KEY POINTS: Why school absence has skyrocketed since COVID. The hidden costs of missing school: academics, friendships, identity, and mental health. How school avoidanc

What do you do when your child’s confidence starts to look like bragging? Today’s tricky parenting question comes from Joanna, whose 12-year-old daughter is bright, kind, and wonderfully self-assured—but sometimes her enthusiasm feels a little too much. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack how to nurture confidence while gently guiding kids toward humility and social awareness. You’ll hear practical ways to help your child celebrate others, avoid “showing off,” and learn through natural experiences—without squashing their spirit. KEY POINTS: Why confidence in tweens is precious (and why most kids lose it) The difference between being “interesting” vs. being “interested” Teaching kids to be “people builders” instead of show-offs The power of teachable moments over lectures How unconditional love helps kids learn from their own mistakes QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Confidence is precious. We don’t want to dampen it—b

Childcare scandals. Social media bans. Kids spending nine hours a day glued to screens. As Child Protection Week shines a spotlight on children’s safety, parents are asking: How do I really protect my kids — both online and in real life? Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Dr Katrina Lines, CEO of Act for Kids, about shocking new research and simple ways families can protect kids online and in real life. KEY POINTS: Why removing men from childcare is not the solution — and what really needs to change. Surprising new research: kids actually prefer time with family over screens. Why kids resist screen limits but thrive when they finally log off. How to “meet in the middle” by joining kids in their online world. Preparing your family for the upcoming social media age ban. Simple daily strategies to create real-life connection, even in busy households. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “This is the important stuff — not the cooking, not the laundry — but listening and being present

From Father’s Day feels to Taylor Swift’s big news, Roblox lawsuits, and the surprising lessons hidden in K-Pop Demon Hunters—this Friday episode is packed. Plus, in I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we get raw about surrender, parenting guilt, and why kids really do spell love T-I-M-E. KEY POINTS: Father’s Day joy (and the best gift dads actually want) Taylor Swift’s engagement & what it’s sparking worldwide Roblox under fire: lawsuits, safety concerns & why parents should care K-Pop Demon Hunters craze—what kids love & what families can learn “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow”: surrendering control, parenting while overworked, and finding peace in presence RESOURCES: Free Father's Day Download: 'Me & My Dad' Activity Book ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate Father’s Day with connection, not things—walks, hugs, shared meals. Stay alert to Roblox news; check your child’s settings and talk about online safety. If your kid

From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families. First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2-week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses. In this episode: Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory iss

Exams, ATARs, scaling, university preferences—no wonder Year 12 feels overwhelming. But what if success doesn’t come down to one number? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by careers counsellor Amy Dyer to unpack the myths around scaling, ATAR pressure, gap years, trades, and vocational pathways. If your teen feels lost—or if you’re a parent caught in the stress—this conversation will help you breathe easier and see the bigger picture. KEY POINTS: Scaling and ATARs: what really matters (and what doesn’t). Achievement, capability, enjoyment - what is success? Burnout in young people after school Why a gap year can be the best choice for mental health and clarity. The hidden value of vocational studies and trade careers. How to help kids define success beyond exam scores. Why parents should focus on fit, not prestige, when guiding school and career choices. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You’re not supposed to know. You just try. Just be productive. Just do som

“Everyone else has one!” If you’ve ever heard this plea from your tween about getting a smartphone, you’re not alone. In today’s Q&A episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one dad’s dilemma: a 12-year-old desperate for a phone, parents holding out until Year 8, and the daily battles in between. You’ll hear why one big conversation won’t work, how to keep your child engaged without caving, and three practical strategies to hold the line without losing connection. KEY POINTS Why no single conversation will “solve” the phone debate The 3 E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) How to use outside voices (content creators, school assignments) to make the case Why it helps to talk with other parents — your child isn’t always “the only one” The ongoing reality: even once they get a phone, the battles don’t stop QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t just get compliance when kids understand your decisi

Why can’t kids just calm down? Here’s the truth: they’re not supposed to. Expecting children to manage their emotions alone is like expecting them to drive a car before they’ve learned to walk. In this episode, Justin and Kylie bust the biggest parenting myth about big feelings — and share 3 powerful, science-backed strategies you can use in the heat of the moment to help your child ride the emotional waves. KEY POINTS Kids’ brains are on “L-plates” when it comes to emotion regulation — it’s a developmental process. Big feelings are normal, not a sign of “bad behaviour.” Three strategies parents can use: Distraction – helps reset the nervous system. Co-regulation – lending your calm to your child. Pause problem-solving – wait until emotions settle before teaching or fixing. Parents often feel judged when meltdowns happen in public — but compassion (for ourselves and our kids) is the game-changer. QUOTE OF THE E

When a child is upset or angry, it’s easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over a completely different issue. By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings. In this episode: Play dates & Roblox 14 reasons why.... Homeschooling  Need for connection Hindenburg Research: Roblox Roblox - a tool for sexual predators The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Related Links:  Keeping kids safe on Roblox  Why Your Kids Need a Tribe Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSe

Every school talks about teaching mental health, but is it actually helping kids? Or could some programs be doing more harm than good? In this episode, Justin unpacks the latest research on school-based mental health lessons — what works, what doesn’t, and why good intentions aren’t always enough. If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is really benefiting from these classes, this is the conversation you need to hear. KEY POINTS Why mental health lessons don’t always translate into healthier kids The risk of programs that label or pathologise normal emotions What research really shows about long-term impact How parents and teachers can support mental wellbeing in practical, everyday ways QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We can’t just teach kids about mental health in theory — we have to live it with them in practice." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/20/mental-health-lessons-school-dont-work-mindfulness ACTION