Lingvistov

The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett is a book written to promote what Pratchett terms the Real Cat, a cat who urinates in the flowerbeds, rips up the furniture, and eats frogs, mice and sundry other small animals. The opposite of the Real Cat is the Fizzy Keg Cat, a well-behaved and bland kind, as seen on cat food advertisements. Enjoy this audiobook brought to you by LINGVISTOV. Author of the story - Terry Pratchett We do not own the rights to this book. The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

- Achtung! We keep on hearing voices!!! - Conspiracy theory: Daniil is driving us crazy with radio or television... - St.Petersburg weather update: its like October - the summer is over - Check out "The Adventures of a Bearded Man" with our wonderful illustrations: ссылка - No-serious-news podcast this week! - Vampire graves: whose head is it between your legs?! - What makes a vampire a vampire? And hitting a vampire with wooden sticks! - Drunken vampires and other efficient ways to get rid of vampires - Life too exciting? Watch entire train journeys in YouTube! - The age of small attention spans: the opponents of short video creators - The beauty of Russian railway: a lot of not normal Russians, vodka, and dirty socks - Two people having the same hallucination: Should we start worrying about our mental health? - Thank you voices!

- In Finland, youd better have a cell phone if nature calls: Use SMS to unlock public toilets - Cause for celebration: Asia is 100% ours! - Its always good to have something to procrastinate on - Have you missed North Korea? And how is it possible to hide two planes on a cargo ship? - Mass hallucinations: Landysh and Asia are hearing voices! Can you hear them as well? - Getting stuck on a tree while riding a balloon powered lawn-chair - City tour in a bed: or is it just another strategy to increase population? - What aliens might look like: jellyfish, cockroaches, or just like us? - Raining glass: Get a metal umbrella now! - If we looked like reptiles: I met that guy, he had such a fantastic tail! - Extraterrestrial and local cockroaches: social structures and parallel universes - Global warming: See level rise and future storms in the 22 century - Lets blame America! Poor donkeys with backache and in need of therapy - Beardology: Fear the Beard! And how can a woman grow a beard - The Adventures of a Bearded

- This weeks special! Landyshs contagious laughter - Asia is back in Saint-Petersburg and Russia is spending too much money on sporting events - Check out Asias and Landyshs interviews on our website and dont forget to comment them! ссылка - Surprise for Asia: Spontaneous introduction and Landysh being a torturer today - Massacre in Egypt: Soldiers shooting at demonstrators - Russian army: what would happen if no country in the world had an army and nuclear weapons - Asia wants to go to the army: our very own future G.I. Jane - Kremlin buys typewriters: a question of security or do they just like the sound of keys? - Typing or writing by hand: vegetarians, insecterians and hydroponiacs - Beardology: A beard-second or how fast does a beard grow? - The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 4 - Please write to us at info@lingvistov.ru!

- What makes Landysh happy: the company of Daniil and Asia and a good hookah - Visiting a proper bar: smelly bearded men and bear... or green tea for Landysh? - Gay and straight cats: I dont care for them as long as they do not get married - Daniils future in reconnaissance and his topshelf poem about the Financial Service - Snowden case: what is the price of freedom and security? or lets talk about acts of chair - Zombies in the animal world: popping eyes of a ladybug - Zombies vs. Vampires: dead or still alive? and why are world is freaked out by infections - Lets build an artificial whale and swim in the ocean! - Asias trip to Chelny: she and Lola enjoying the book and air-conditioning on the backseat - Beardology: Fidel Castros magical beard - The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 3 - Dont forget to visit our website ссылка The best language learning website ever!

- News Alert! Daniil shaved off his beard! - Asias future adventure: from St. Petersburg to Chelny by car - Landysh going hard core with her diet and turning into a plant - Protests in Brazil and Turkey: the standing man protesting and too "high" bus fares - Differences in mentality and our high limits of tolerance: soon well have the second October revolution! - Cold and heat determine the political regime in your country - Yes, we cat! Morris the Cat, a perfect candidate for mayor - Daniil the Catter: Your guide to interaction with cats - Asia and Lolita: talking to your dog about philosophical aspects of life - Algae as an alternative energy source: not only renewable, but endless, as well as beautiful - Beardology: Get paid for your beard! And catvertising - The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 2 - Philosophy behind the third knee: lets all go bald! - "Dear Listeners!" is our new catch phrase! - Landysh ready to experiment with something more adventurous than hookah - Check out our

- LINGVISTOV Team finally together! Asia, Daniil and Landysh are in Saint-Petersburg - Landysh: a bad guide who talks too much and gets easily distracted - LINGVISTOV future plans: Driving Durov out of his Nevskiy office and settling there! - Landysh and a hookah: Sitting in a smoky room and doodling - Message from Rhyne Curton in Charlotte, NC: Our American listener and dear friend! - Tatar-Russian-English or how you can kill Landysh with your bad pronunciation - Unrest in Turkey: Getting the news from the protesters on the street - Americans and Thanksgiving: Turkey pies, turkey donuts, turkey hotdogs, and turkey flavoured coffee - Oh baby soup: Eating a cucumber and drinking milk - Supervision: The mystery of ultraviolet light and x-raying babies - Beardology: Why women find bearded men hot - The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 1 - Our priority destination: McDonalds with hookahs in Egypt - Check out our Doodle Contest: ссылка

- Girly Podcast this week! - Landysh marking her territory with lilies of the valley - Lingvistov team travelling as an entity and reading Bible for an educational purpose - An episode of LINGVISTOV Podcast without Daniil... we are lonely - Romantic story about zombies: or where Twilight creators draw their inspiration from - Asia in Finland: Wonderland where its comfortable to be anyone - Finnish Bob Dylan fans and internal invasion of Finland by the Russians - Charm of bearded women and how a woman can grow a beard - Beauty that frightens and people who feel comfortable with their bodies - Mom, am I beautiful? You have to face the truth as early as possible - Losing weight: sports, dieting and moderation - Addiction: the key is in realising youre hooked - Landyshs special diet: eat as many apples as you like till 4 pm! - Being vegan and doing exercises while youre pregnant - Doodle Contest: vote and submit your entries - ссылка

- Interview with Mus from magnificent Algeria! - Why a foreigner has a profile in vkontakte: Friends and music - Language issues in Algeria: speaking French like the French - A love story between France and Algeria and the Arab spring - Algerian president: dead or alive? - Strategy of the Algerian government: not to piss off everybody - Marseille - the 49th arrondissement of Algeria - African markets! Colours, spices, sand and the most beautiful sunsets! - Rich Algerian cuisine and bread cooked in the sand - Big Arab families and difficult life of people in Algeria - Cheap work force: intelligent people doing manual work in developed countries - Women in Algeria and why you mustnt take photos of local people - Weird Easter traditions and dangerous Algerian celebrations - Going to France by a boat and burning visas - Colonized brain of the Algerians: poor people of the rich country

- Repeating the introduction and emotions after forgetting to switch on the recorder - Suicide in Notre-Dame de Paris: killing oneself to send the message against same-sex marriages - Why gay people marry? It turns out for the same reasons straight people do. - Is suicidal behaviour a disease? And is it a weakness to commit one? - Anti-depressants: Landysh is living up to an image of a proper artist - Aldous Huxleys experiments with drugs and how the world profited from it - Blackholes can actually be wormholes: would you take a risk? - Travelling through the Universe and how "The Sliders" is the best Tv show ever! - Immortality: you get to be either a cyborg or a vampire, no other options available! And no zombies - LINGVISTOV Doodle Contest: vote and submit funny captions and maybe youll win our T-Shirts! ссылка

- Podcasting and drinking: A unique experience for all the members of Lingvistov team - How to train your guests: Want to step on a clean floor? - Mop it yourself first - Spy news! Weird American spies and why spies in reality never resemble James Bond - Celebrity news: Angelina Jolie and her breasts - Whos your favourite actress? - Disadvantages of modern energy resources: birds being killed mercilessly by windmills - Have you been pushkining? Lingvistov podcast finding new use for existing words - A grave mistake averted or porn on the table with a cake - Beginners vs. Elemetary - bloody massacre! - Real he-man Whiskey toothpaste: how can you resist? - Destroying significant historical sites and using cathedrals as deadhouses - The Adventures of Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Comrade: The end of the Saga - read the whole story on our website: ссылка - LINGVISTOV Doodle Contest: create funny captions and win exclusive prizes: ссылка

Asia interviews Syd Mead, visual futurist and concept artist, best known for his designs for science-fiction films such as Blade Runner, Aliens and Tron. Of his work, Mead once moved to comment: "Ive called science fiction reality ahead of schedule". Mead was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota on July 18, 1933. He graduated from high school in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1951. After serving a three-year enlistment in the US Army, Syd Mead continued on to the Art Center School in Los Angeles, where he graduated in June, 1959. He was recruited by the Ford Motor Companys Advanced Styling Studio. Mead left the studio after two years to accept a variety of assignments to illustrate books and catalogues for large corporate entities such as United States Steel. In 1970, he launched Syd Mead, Inc. Syd Mead lives and works in Pasadena, California. Syd Mead kindly agreed to give this interview to Asia.

Dear listeners, we are deeply sorry for the quality of the first part of this podcast and the general lack of discipline. - We started our own Youtube channel! Check it out: ссылка - Serious news: Missiles struck military facilities near Damascus - Nannies study martial arts: 65-year-old ladies who know karate - The happiest man in Britain: blue-eyed grey-haired married teacher called Steve who lives close to Edinburgh and wears glasses - Happiest and unhappiest names: perfect names for Daniils future children - Threats to the Artic Region: acidification of its waters and overfishing - The Arctic University: Landysh is moving there to study bearded English-speaking bachelors in their natural habitat - Knowledge of English as the top requirement for a future partner: should you teach the candidate or should the ability be already there? - International day of Star Wars: May the Forth be with you! - Insulting Ukranians: you will not write to us anyway. - In the Artic Region Canada rules! And weird Canadian acc

- Landysh and Asia finally seeing each others faces and waiting for Daniil to join them in St.Peterburg! - Brawl in Venezuelan parlament: our Duma looks quite tame in comparison - Lenin zombie! Seeing dead people and the purpose of embalmed world leaders - Climate change: can anything be done to prevent it or is it really imminent? - Future Disasters American-style: will we live to see anything spectacular? - Perfect gift for a man: A shirt that can be worn for 100 days without washing - F-Word: a universal word that can be used in any situation - An OFFice job: dont you ever have one! - Beards are hot! Landyshs strange obsession with beards - The science of beardology: theory and practice of growing the beard of your dreams - The Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, Part 8 - we think its coming to an end because North Korea are pussies! - Happy Labour Day and write to us: info@lingvistov.ru.

- Asia brings knowledge into this illiterate world while Daniil is chewing on a piece of cabbage - Our lives are spoiled with work: Mondays suck as well as having a proper job - You should always do what you like: our friend Tatyana Petrova and her fantastic project - North Korea news! Kim Jong-Un wants to join the nuclear club - Having trouble getting out of sleep and falling asleep while riding a bycicle - Happy childhood: friendly girls with kitchen knives going for a walk - Who throws rubbish that now orbits the Earth and how can we remove it? - Another way to go: choose to get thrown out on the Earths orbit instead of being buried or cremated! - What do you do in an elevator? And why are there mirrors in elevators? - Guns in Russia: are we mentally and historically prone to gun possession - Bizarre ways to go: something for everyone. - Asia is rioting against the system! - Write to us! Send your emails to info@lingvistov.ru

"Dear Husband" by Joyce Carol Oates is her attempt to get inside the head of Andrea Yates, who killed her children in a much-publicized case in Texas. The narrators ramblings are a predictable mishmash, evidence of battered wife syndrome and born-again lunacy: "Jesus said to me, It is true that you are a bad mother but there is a way: If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out. " Dramatic, intensely rendered, and always provocative "Dear Husband" provides an unsettling and fascinating look into the mysterious heart of America. Author of the story - Joyce Carol Oates We do not own the rights to this short story. The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

- Shopping as a subconscious purpose: If its beautiful and useless, you have to have it! - Serious news: Earthquake in Iran, and why anything happening in the US is more important than major disasters anywhere else in the world - Mystery of North Korean female soldiers: Why do they wear high-heels? Our hypotheses - Medical advice from LINGVISTOV: Love your kidneys. - One-way ticket to Mars: want to lose your bone and muscle mass? Apply now! - Bright future for humanity: If you get too fat you can buy another body! Synthetic bodies and fully sedentary lifestyles of future generations - Slightly tubby Bradford Batman charged with burgling a garage - Who is your favourite superhero? Angelina Jolie of course! - Modern version of Alice in Wonderland: Following giant rats - Time-shifting: quit your job for a medieval or soviet piece of paradise! - Part 6 of the Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, the Brilliant Comrade - Wait for the LINGVISTOV video and follow everything thats going on on our website: lingvistov.ru!

Audiobook "Dear God, know me, from Adam" by modern writer Dom Conlon gives a new funny interpretation of a well-known fable about the birth of the Universe. Besides it is about how parents love their children and let them go... about free will and how even our bad choices are better than blind acceptance. Enjoy this audiobook brought to you by LINGVISTOV. Author of the story - Dom Conlon We do not own the rights for this short story. You can read the whole text here: ссылка The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

"Last Frontier" is a short story written by Daniil Yakovenko. Its second part reveals a conversation between Roger Steelson and an extraterrestrial Jayar Narah Acri about what humankind has been searching for throughout the universe and still thinks it failed to find. Enjoy Part II of the short story brought to you by LINGVISTOV. Author of the story - Daniil Yakovenko The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

- Life on a sofa: Asias dog Lola is afraid of floors and happy Daniil surrounded by a considerable number of pets. - Landysh in Germany: ruining stereotypes, bad weather and unruly Berliners. - What makes Landysh happy: seeing or rather hearing a real Scotsman. - Two bombs found in Berlin while Landysh was there: coincidence? I dont think so. - The Wall: separation of the nation and differences between Germany and the Soviet Union - Russian tourists abroad: why do you have no desire to approach them when you see them? - Feeling proud of our nation! And Russians with superpowers on the roads. - Eddie Izzard in Berlin: a hilarious man on high heels. - North Korea being badass: nuclear tests, constant threats, prospects of a new war and a good blackmailing strategy - Part 5 of the Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, the Brilliant Comrade - New single by Psy! We hope its going to be a duo with King Jong-Un - Dog therapy: so tell me about your childhood? - Write to us! info@lingvistov.ru