Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What happens when the mirror moves from our wall to our head? In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Renee Engeln, discover how beauty sickness affects women and girls, why being "ladylike" might mean "stay small," and how to teach children to value their bodies for what they can do rather than how they look. Plus, understand why having two social media accounts might signal a deeper cultural problem. Quote of the Episode: "Bodies are super cool... teach your children about how cool they are, like all the amazing things they can do—not so they can look good to other people." Key Insights: Self-objectification develops when external scrutiny becomes internal. Beauty standards affect women disproportionately. "Ladylike" behaviour often teaches girls to stay small. Social media creates additional appearance pressure. Cultural expectations create exhausting beauty demands. Body appreciation should focus on function over appearance. Simple activities like hugging and smiling show body value.

Getting enough sleep is the number one parenting hack, but what happens when your children won't cooperate? Historically, humans slept in groups, which explains why your child resists sleeping alone. Breaking free from bedtime battles requires giving children a voice in their routine, changing your perspective on this fleeting season, and doing whatever it takes to ensure everyone gets some rest—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m. Key Points: Force creates resistance—the more you try to control bedtime, the more children push back. Giving children a voice through family meetings or one-on-one discussions about bedtime helps them buy into routines. Humans historically slept in groups—our desire for children to sleep independently is relatively recent. Changing your perspective to see this as a season that will pass can help reduce frustration. Sometimes the practical solution is simply "do what it takes"—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m. Dental hygiene matters—paren

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours—it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words—"let them"—to reclaim your power and energy. When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control. # Quote of the Episode: "The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins   Key Points: The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response). When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy. "Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat—it means acknowledging you can't control others. Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods. Hackin

When children need to talk, they'll give subtle clues that most parents miss completely. Recognising these moments and responding with actual listening—not advice, stories, or solutions—creates connections that last decades. The secret? Summarise what they say instead of steering the conversation. Most children never reveal their real issue first, which means parents who jump in with solutions are missing what their children truly need: to be understood. Quote of the Episode: "Understanding is the deepest hunger of the human heart." - Stephen Covey (quoted by Ross Judd) Key Points: Children rarely reveal their real issue first—they test the waters with a "safe" topic before sharing what's really bothering them. Look for unusual behaviour or emotional signals that indicate your child needs to talk. Taking control of the conversation prevents your child from getting to the deeper issue. The art of summarising (repeating back what your child has said) is the key to effective listening. Our bra

Is traditional schooling the only path to success? In this eye-opening episode, Justin and Kylie challenge the conventional approach to education, sharing their journey through homeschooling and industry-based schooling with their daughter, Lily. They discuss why so many kids feel disconnected from mainstream education, the power of hands-on learning, and how alternative schooling models are helping students find passion, purpose, and career opportunities. If you’ve ever worried about whether the standard school system is serving your child, this episode is a must-listen! KEY POINTS: Many kids feel disconnected from traditional schooling because it lacks real-world application. Industry schools combine formal education with hands-on experience, giving kids exposure to different careers. Parents often fear that alternative education means failure, but in reality, it can lead to greater success and fulfillment. The stigma of leaving mainstream school is often more about parental concerns than what’

Research reveals that 99% of boys have seen pornography by age 15, with the average first exposure occurring around age 10-11. This isn't your parents' magazine under the bed—today's online explicit content is shaping our children's understanding of relationships and intimacy years before their first kiss. This episode provides practical, research-backed strategies for having essential conversations with your children about pornography and online safety. Learn how to protect your kids while maintaining open communication about this confronting but critical topic. Quote of the Episode: "Not talking about it isn't protective. You need to talk about it because that's where the protection comes." Key Points: Average first exposure to explicit content occurs around age 10-11 By age 15, 99% of boys and 50-70% of girls have seen pornography Among 15- to 29-year-olds,  85% consume explicit content weekly or daily Children typically see explicit content 3-3.5 years before their first kiss Modern online por

Your brain is like a monkey—constantly jumping around, thinking of what to say next, and rarely focused on what others are sharing. Learning to shut up and truly listen, especially during those key moments when your child is trying to tell you something important, is perhaps life's most difficult skill. This preview of Saturday's full interview with Ross Judd reveals why listening is so challenging and how three simple steps can transform your connections with those you love. Quote of the Episode: "When we engage, the actual main thing to do here is actually to do nothing. We're not having to fix a problem. We're not having to find solutions. What we actually need to do is to be quiet." - Kylie Coulson Key Points: Don't try to actively listen every minute of every day—it's exhausting and unrealistic. Look for clues that indicate someone really needs to talk (unusual behaviour or emotional signals). When these important moments occur, engage fully by staying quiet and using neutral phrases like

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Schools are failing our children when boys who make sexual threats remain in class with their victims. A toxic combination of pornography access, weak responses, and "boys will be boys" attitudes is forcing young girls out of education.  Quote of the Episode: "When schools allow boys who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims, they're making a value judgment. They're saying a boy's uninterrupted education matters more than a girl's right to learn without fear." - Justin Coulson Key Points: Sexual harassment via school laptops is happening as early as Grade 7 (age 12) Schools often respond inadequately to sexual threats, prioritising perpetrators' education over victims' safety Easy access to pornography is fuelling inappropriate sexual behaviour among young boys Parents must make noise and demand accountability when their children are victims If your child is a perpetrator, taking responsibility and ensuring consequences is essential Parental monitoring of screen use is the number o

Are we protecting our kids or holding them back? In this episode, Justin talks with Lenore Skenazy about the unintended consequences of overprotection and why kids need to experience risk to build confidence, resilience, and essential life skills. From eliminating stairs in homes to constant parental surveillance, we examine how fear-based parenting is shaping modern childhood—and what we can do to change it. KEY POINTS: The growing trend of designing homes for maximum parental surveillance and risk elimination. Why removing all risks from a child’s life can have long-term negative effects on their mental health and independence. The difference between reasonable safety precautions (e.g., seat belts, helmets) and excessive protection that stifles growth. How parental fear contributes to anxiety, depression, and dependence in kids. Practical ways to introduce independence and calculated risk into children’s lives. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Fear doesn’t prevent death, but it prev

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships. Quote of the Episode: "What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson Key Points: How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship. Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness. Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break. Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution. Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional respo

Research from Princeton University reveals that mandatory reading logs actually decrease children's interest in reading. While a quarter of Australian parents barely read to their kids at all, the solution isn't forcing children to track their reading time—it's making reading irresistible. This episode exposes why reading logs are counterproductive and reveals the three crucial keys to raising passionate readers. If you've ever battled with your child over filling in their reading log or worried about their reading habits, this episode offers game-changing strategies that actually work. Quote of the Episode: "Reading is the key skill to education. It's literally the gateway to all other skills. And if we can get this one thing right with our kids, they're going to make it all right in the world." Key Points: Research shows mandatory reading logs reduce children's motivation and interest in both recreational and academic reading. 25% of Australian parents read to their children once a week or less. Ther

When Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone, she was dubbed "the worst mother in the world." In this preview of Saturday's interview, discover why preparation beats protection and how trusting kids with real responsibility helps them become capable adults. Plus, learn why the illusion of control might be holding our children back. Quote of the Episode: "If you want responsible kids, you have to give them responsibility"—Alfie Kohn Key Insights: Preparation matters more than protection. Trust builds capability and confidence. Control is ultimately an illusion. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Clear boundaries enable independence. Practice builds competence. Real-world experience teaches responsibility. Consequences should lead to learning, not restriction. Resources Mentioned: Let Grow movement Lenore Skenazy's work Jonathan Haidt's research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Prepare Rather than Prevent Practice skills before independence Provide necessary tools and in

When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all. Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time." Key Insights: Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time School belonging needs two key relationships Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial Adult friendships can be valuable for children Structured activities help build new friendships Medical and psychological checks may be needed School relationships often need parental facilitation Quality family time remains foundational Resources Mentioned: Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas  School belonging research Happy Families Actio

What if you could tap into your child's natural brain chemistry to boost motivation and reduce stress? Discover the "Happiness Quartet"—four key neurochemicals that can transform behaviour, learning, and family life. From barefoot walks on grass to risky play, learn practical ways to naturally boost these powerful brain chemicals for happier, more motivated kids. Quote of the Episode: "Break big, difficult tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps - each step triggers a dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and sense of accomplishment." Key Insights: Dopamine works as an anticipation engine Serotonin acts as a natural stress reducer Endorphins serve as natural painkillers Oxytocin builds trust and connection Nature exposure boosts multiple positive chemicals Physical activity enhances brain chemistry Social connections trigger beneficial hormones Breaking down tasks increases motivation Resources Mentioned: Neuroscience research on motivation Serotonin and nature studies Happy Families Action St

Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges, especially when executive function skills—like planning, organisation, and impulse control—are difficult for them. In this episode, Professor Adam Guastella, a leading expert at the University of Sydney, provides expert insights on how parents can advocate for their children in the education system, the latest neuroscience research, the role of executive function in development, and how to provide supportive environments that foster growth and confidence in children.  Tune in for practical advice, strategies for success, and a refreshing sense of hope for families facing these challenges. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It's not a battle of will, it's a battle of systems.” – Professor Adam Guastella KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Autism is not about intelligence; it's about different ways of thinking and interacting with the world. What is executive function, and why does it matter? The connection between ADHD, autism, an

When your Year 12 child can't do maths or your teen rings crying from camp after being bullied, your instinct is to fix everything. But research shows that simply being heard is often more powerful than any solution. This episode reveals how validation, not problem-solving, helps children develop resilience in challenging situations. Learn the simple two-minute technique that transformed a tearful camp crisis and discover why becoming a "people builder" creates confidence in our children that lasts far beyond any temporary fix. Quote of the Episode: "You don't have to solve; you just have to support. And when the kids can feel it and then you give them an opportunity to find a way forward, they will find it. The answers are deep inside themselves." Key Points: Children need validation and understanding before they can move forward from emotional distress Being a "people builder" creates confidence and resilience in children Emotion coaching involves recognizing feelings, naming them, and allowing them to be

When school photos become weapons through AI manipulation, how do we protect our children? From understanding why teenage boys might engage in this behaviour to knowing exactly what to do if your child is involved, learn practical steps for prevention and response. Plus, discover why biology isn't destiny and how to build empathy in an increasingly digital world. Quote of the Episode: "The collective IQ of boys when they're in a group is significantly lower than the individual IQ of each boy when they're on their own." Key Insights: AI technology creates new forms of harassment Biological factors influence teen boy behaviour Group dynamics affect decision-making Empathy levels change during puberty Traditional photo safety advice may not be enough Quick response is crucial if incidents occur Professional help may be needed Recovery pathways must be available Resources Mentioned: eSafety Commissioner website Law enforcement guidelines School reporting procedures Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: I

When we change environments to support neurodivergent children, everyone benefits. In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Adam Guastella from Sydney Children's Hospital, discover why viewing autism as a 'disorder' might be missing the point, and learn how the right support systems can transform outcomes. Plus, understand why insufficient support leads to troubling patterns of bullying and underachievement. Quote of the Episode: "When people have changed environments to be more inclusive to support children with autism and other neurodevelopmental needs, those environments are really good for everyone." Key Insights: Focus should be on changing environments, not just children. Inclusive environments benefit all children. Support needs are both environmental and individual. Better support leads to better educational outcomes. Lack of support correlates with higher bullying rates. Academic underachievement often relates to poor support. Professional collaboration improves outcomes.

Should pocket money be linked to chores? What about paying for good grades? From savings percentages to spending rules, discover why traditional pocket money wisdom might be wrong, and learn a value-based approach that actually works. Plus, find out why regular money conversations matter more than any system you choose. Quote of the Episode: "Money is just a store of value, and the conversation really should move away from money to how am I adding value in the world?" Key Insights: Pocket money should be independent of chores. Paying for grades can decrease intrinsic motivation. The Three S's: Spend, Save, Support. Financial conversations matter more than systems. Value creation should precede money focus. Forced savings can build positive habits. Regular money discussions enhance financial literacy Stretch goals encourage saving behaviour Resources Mentioned: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel [affiliate link] Happy Families newsletter Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Separate pocket money