Sex With Emily

Violet Benson started her now-famous Instagram account @DaddyIssues_ while working through issues of her own. On today’s podcast, she opens up about working through deep emotional struggles so she can create the sex life and relationships that truly work for her. No matter your background or life stage, I’m positive this conversation will liberate and inspire you to take the next step in your sex life. Violet, who hosts the popular podcast Almost Adulting, tells me about her decision to temporarily swear off penetrative sex, freezing her eggs, and how she quit playing games while dating. She also takes the Sex IQ quiz inspired by my upcoming book, Smart Sex! Listen to her results, then listen to both of us answer a listener question: when the sex is hot but they’ve got huge, emotional red flags, should you pursue them anyway? Show Notes: Sexy Summer Pack List: The Seven Essentials 5 Reasons to Add Anal Play to Your Masturbation Routine ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Ple

We all have fears around sex, whether we’re aware of them or not. Maybe you’re worried someone’s not going to like your body, or that if you and your partner try something new, it’ll be awkward or weird. Maybe you’re worried you’ll never have sex with anyone ever again. I’m here to tell you this: your sexual anxieties are completely normal. Listen in as my callers and I work through theirs and develop actionable solutions to take the next step. When you’re a vulva owner, and something comes out when you orgasm, are you peeing or squirting? When preparing for a threesome, how can you get over the fear that your partner won't want sex with just you anymore? When the sex has fallen off entirely, how do you start initiating again? All this and more in today's sexual anxieties episode. Show Notes: Sexy Summer Pack List: The Seven Essentials 4 Penis Problems and 4 Ways to Solve Them MEET ME ON TOUR! Sex With Emily Book Tour: SMART SEX Event Dates PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and O

Author Elise Loehnen has thought a lot about women and desire. In her new book On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, she breaks down the cultural forces that teach women to be desirable rather than desiring, and the shame attached to a woman wanting something: whether it’s sex, success, or a damn slice of pizza. Whether it’s lust, and the way we encourage women to police others' sexuality, or sloth, and the way women are encouraged to be their husbands' caregivers, these invisible expectations serve none of us. Instead, Elise talks about ways we can liberate ourselves in ways that improve our sex lives and beyond: how to balance masculine and feminine energies in relationships, how to shed sexual shame, and so much more. As Elise says, “Our bodies are portals; lust is the invitation to enter.” Please note that this episode includes discussions of sexual trauma. If you would like to skip these portions of the episode, please skip through:  19:35-25:13 41:36-43:03 S

It can be difficult to meet new people and cultivate relationships, especially when looking for romantic partners. But don’t let that hold you back from trying: you might just need a new strategy. On today’s show, I take your calls on modern dating and how to solve the problems you’re running into. Let’s say you want to date an older woman but don’t have confidence in your communication - how do you improve your conversation game? When you’ve been single for years and fear rejection, how do you break out of romantic stagnation? Or what about breadcrumbing: when someone gives you just enough to keep you interested without outright ghosting you. How can you directly communicate without coming off as pushy? Finally, what are the signs of love bombing? One caller asks me if that’s what’s happening to her. Spoiler: yep. Show Notes: What’s a Sexual State of the Union & Why Should You Have One? MEET ME ON TOUR! Sex With Emily Book Tour: SMART SEX Event Dates PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Se

All sexual fantasies have one thing in common: they trigger an arousal response inside our bodies, laced with erotic flavor. But how do you actualize your fantasy with a partner who’s wary of it? Even turned off by it? On today’s show, I’m taking your calls on this exact predicament. First up: when your partner wants you to drastically change your appearance for their pleasure, should you do it? Or when your partner wants to watch you with a third, how do you find that person? Next, if you’re not naturally dominant in bed, but your partner’s begging for it, how do you step into your power? I also get into urine fetishes (yep, like golden showers), how to introduce them to an otherwise vanilla sex life, and how to explore same-sex adventures in a hetero marriage.     Show Notes: Sex With Emily Book Tour: SMART SEX Event Dates PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered t

You shouldn't have to be an Olympic gymnast to have sex. But let’s be honest – certain positions can be hard! So inspired by the Positions chapter in my new book Smart Sex, I’m bringing back this Best Of episode. You’ll hear quick tips to make ambitious moves easier and classic moves more exciting. First, I share the most-searched sex positions in the country: can you guess America’s favorite sex move? Next, we look at the much-hyped reverse cowgirl. I give suggestions to make it feel as good and sexy as it looks. As for oral: I talk you through the Kivin Method, which stimulates vulva owners' K-points, and how to make 69 more relaxing. Finally, don’t go to the emergency room from shower sex – just listen to my tips to keep it steamy AND stable. Show Notes: How to Talk Like a Dom for Better Sex: 6 Essential Phrases Moms Deserve Pleasure Too: A Sexy Self-Care Guide MEET ME ON TOUR! Sex With Emily Book Tour: SMART SEX Event Dates PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleas

When resentment builds up in a relationship, it compromises our sexual connection. We feel taken for granted, unappreciated, and unseen. Most of all, we feel emotionally unsafe, which makes it impossible to let loose and feel free in bed. So on today’s show, I talk through a study that connects the dots between a quality sex life and regular expressions of gratitude. Next, I take your calls: when long standing issues with your partner inhibit your desire, how do you break through that impasse? When your partner says you’re not meeting their sexual standards, how much of that messaging do you take in? And when you crave words of affirmation, but they just can’t seem to give them, is it time for new therapy or to respectfully end the relationship? Show Notes: How to Talk Like a Dom for Better Sex: 6 Essential Phrases Ask Emily: What is a Penis Ring and Why Should I Use It? PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of

We all need to mix it up sometimes. Has your masturbation routine gone stale? Is sex with your partner too predictable? With creativity and a little teasing, absolutely everyone can spice up their sex life – and I’m here to tell you how. First, we’ll talk about planning a "sex-cation" with low-lift ideas you can try right at home. Next, when you and your partner have already tried all the new things, what’s left? I advise one caller on sexual teasing and how denying your pleasure can heighten the intensity. We also discuss ways to make your solo sex more interesting and arousing, and how to have more fun with casual sex if your current routine – even with new people! – is leaving you bored. Show Notes: Ask Emily: What is a Penis Ring and Why Should I Use It? PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pack and everyone that enters receives a copy of my

Ever wondered if there’s more to your sexuality than you ever realized? Or relationship models that challenge everything you’re used to? Men’s Health and Cosmo sex columnist Zachary Zane has been there. As a self-proclaimed “boyslut,” he’s radically open about his journey as a bisexual, polyamorous man and tells all in his forthcoming book: BOYSLUT: A Memoir and Manifesto. He shares how he came to understand his attraction to all genders, his experience living in a polycule, why it’s healthy for all of us to get used to rejection, and how bisexuality for men is gaining more visibility. He also helps me answer your questions on exploring bisexuality while in a long-term relationship, how to respond if you’re in a hetero relationship and your partner tells you they’re bisexual, and how to find casual, no strings attached sex. Show Notes: Ask Emily: What is a Penis Ring and Why Should I Use It? The Sexiest Morning Routine Ever PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

Yes, it’s true: I’m talking with my own mother today about sex. A ton of you have asked me how I got into the sex education business in the first place: now, you get to hear from the person who raised me! First, my mom and I talk about her sexual journey, coming up in a time when open communication around sex wasn’t normalized and female pleasure wasn’t valued. She also helps me your questions on sex and relationships, like how to give a partner feedback when they’re doing something that turns you off, what to do if menopause is tanking your sex drive, how to negotiate with your partner when you’ve got different definitions of cheating, and how to approach a partner who does NOT want to spice up your sex life – but you’re dying for some variety.  Show Notes: The Future of Sex Tech The Sexiest Morning Routine Ever PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the p

There’s often someone who initiates the sex, and someone who says “yes” or “no.” These roles can work long-term, but what happens when sexual initiations become a problem? When you’re always hearing no, or when you always say no? On today’s show, I'm talking about sexual initiations and how to make this moment a better experience for all. When you’re the initiator, but want your partner to do it more often, how do you talk to them about it? We’ll also get into spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and as someone with responsive desire, I’ll share my routine for getting turned on for sex. Finally, when you and your partner are so busy that no one’s initiating, what’s the conversation you need to have? I advise a caller in this exact situation. Show Notes: The Future of Sex Tech The Sexiest Morning Routine Ever PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pa

What’s holding you back from having good sex? Is it self-confidence? A problem with your partner? Are you under so much stress that it’s impossible to feel erotic and turned on? In today’s Best Of episode, I’m talking about the 6 most common roadblocks to sex and how to move past them. I’ll talk you through how to navigate each of them and also take your questions on personal sexual roadblocks. For example, if you’re coupled, is it cheating to get on OnlyFans? What do you do if you’re not always wet for sex? And finally, what's the best way to work with a partner who’s prone to jealousy? All this and more on our roadblocks show. Show Notes: How to Use a Vibe With a Partner High Pleasure: A Guide to Cannabis & Sex PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pack and everyone that enters receives a copy of my new and improved Yes! No! Maybe? Guide) LEL

It’s a new day in the world of cannabis and sex. So many of you have asked me for this show! While wide scale research is still thin, there are many encouraging signs that cannabis can help you unlock more sexual pleasure, whether it's erotic arousal, help with erections, less anxiety, or less pain. But I get it: cannabis isn’t legal everywhere! And it’s also not right for everyone. So on today’s mini show, I’ll be discussing the latest research on cannabis and sex, how to know if it's a good choice for you, delivery methods like edibles and drinkables, and vetted product recommendations for sexy times, both partnered and solo.  Show Notes: High Pleasure: A Guide to Cannabis & Sex PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pack and everyone that enters receives a copy of my new and improved Yes! No! Maybe? Guide) Morgasm CBD Arousal Lubricant (code E

What’s a common stereotype you’ve heard about sex? Maybe it’s that “guys just want one thing” or that “once you have kids, say goodbye to your sex life.” But not only are these stereotypes tiresome on a societal level, they actually hurt your sex life. Why? Because if you buy them, they limit your pleasure potential. So on today’s show, I reveal the top 3 sexual stereotypes penis owners and vulva owners told me they were tired of, and the new truths that are going to empower you in bed. I also give you quick communication hacks to help you get curious with any partner, whether they’re long-term or brand new, so that you can have the sex you actually want.  Show Notes: How to Use a Vibe With a Partner High Pleasure: A Guide to Cannabis & Sex PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pack and everyone that enters receives a copy of my new and improved

There’s a lot to be said for sex toys. For one, they stimulate nerve endings much deeper than hands alone can reach – and that’s true no matter what genitals you’ve got. But how do you incorporate toys into partnered sex? And which ones are right for your body to give you mind-blowing orgasms? On today’s episode, we’re talking all things sex toys so you can play in new and different ways. First, is it alright to always bring a vibe to partnered sex? One penis owner says “absolutely.” Speaking of penis owners, which toys are best for this crowd? I also talk about squirting with toys, how to change up your solo sex routine, and if there’s anything wrong if you can ONLY orgasm with a toy. Spoiler alert: nope!  Show Notes: The Basics of Safe Sex  Want Better Sex? Ask Your Partner These Questions Sign up for Sexts With Emily SMS & get my brand new Ultimate SEXTING Guide! PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of pur

Have you ever used a “Yes, No, Maybe” List for sex? It’s a menu of sex acts that prioritizes consent and communication among sexual partners. It’s one of my hands-down favorite tools to explore new ideas and spice up sex lives. But how do you actually use the list and turn your choices into realities? On today’s show, I reveal my NEW and IMPROVED "Yes, No, Maybe" List, and show you how to use it individually or with a partner. I share new ideas we added to the list, like orgasm denial, bondage, and electrostimulation, as well as success stories from folks who have filled it out. Plus, we’ll talk about what to do if your answers differ from your partner's, and how a real couple worked through that sticky situation together.  Show Notes: The Basics of Safe Sex  Want Better Sex? Ask Your Partner These Questions Sign up for Sexts With Emily SMS & get my brand new Ultimate SEXTING Guide! PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-o

When you think about anal sex, what comes to mind? Does it make you feel turned on? Nervous? Like something you want to try or do more of, but you’re not sure about the best way to approach it? On today’s show, I help you get more comfortable with anal play by answering your top questions. How can you use foreplay and communication to relax into the experience? If you’ve tried anal play before but didn’t love it, what are some toys and techniques you can use to feel more pleasure? What’s the safest way to train with an anal toy, and can you hurt yourself by having too much anal? Bottoms up, because your anal education starts now. Show Notes: I Gave My Friend a Magic Wand Mini. Here’s Why. Get to Know The Clitoris and How to Pleasure It PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure LELO LOKI Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you give incredible, life-affirming oral sex to a vulva owner? While every body is different, I’m here to tell you that these are the techniques you absolutely need. First, we’ll talk the art of the tease. I explain how to use your tongue to intensify sensations and encourage arousal. I also get into everyone’s favorite: the Kivin Method. Next, I show you how to help facilitate a G-spot orgasm by answering your top questions. For example, when you’re 100% down to give oral but your partner doesn’t like receiving, what do you do? When you’re the vulva owner and want to squirt, how do you get there? Finally, I talk overcoming insecurities when you’re the receiver, and how to make giving oral more physically comfortable. Show Notes: I Gave My Friend a Magic Wand Mini. Here’s Why. Get to Know the Clitoris (& How to Pleasure It) PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Promescent.com/Emily (use this link to automatically save 15% at checkout) Article: Mind-Blow

What does it mean to be sexually confident? In my opinion, it comes from a sense of security in who you are, what you bring to the table, and knowing that it’s OK to ask questions. It’s not having all the answers, because let’s be honest: sex would be boring if we knew everything already. But when your self-image takes a hit, how do you recover your sexual confidence and combat performance anxiety? I’m talking to callers with precisely that question. What do you do when your partner keeps talking about how hot strangers are, even when you told them it makes you uncomfortable? What happens when you’re not maintaining your erections, and it’s causing anxiety? How about when your partner is more sexual than ever – but not towards you? All this and more in today’s sexual confidence episode. Show Notes: 3 Sexual Stereotypes to Stop Believing About Vulva Owners 3 Sexual Stereotypes to Stop Believing About Penis Owners PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure I Gave My Fr

In my opinion, masturbation is one of the healthiest self-care practices out there. But so many of you tell me how ashamed you feel about masturbating! Especially since the only pop culture examples you saw growing up were cringey. That changes today, as I take your calls on masturbation, taking time to explore your body, and unlocking different kinds of orgasms during solo sex. I also discuss masturbation frequency, and if there’s such a thing as too much. Speaking of frequency: is it possible for vulva owners to have multiple orgasms during solo sex? Let’s find out. I’ll answer your questions on group masturbation parties, jealousy toward your partner’s vibrator, and what to do when your partner can only orgasm through masturbation. Show Notes: 3 Sexual Stereotypes to Stop Believing About Vulva Owners 3 Sexual Stereotypes to Stop Believing About Penis Owners PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Emily x Christina Aguilera: HelloPlayground.com/Xtina CERĒ Spe