Sex With Emily

If you've ever felt ashamed of a sexual fantasy, I want you to know that having one isn't a sign that something is wrong with you — it's actually a sign of a healthy sex life. Fantasies can reveal what you truly crave, deepen your connection with a partner, and completely transform your relationship with your own desire. But most of us were never taught how to think about them, let alone talk about them out loud. In this episode, I'm breaking down what your fantasies actually mean, why you don't need to act on all of them, and exactly how to bring one up with a partner without it feeling terrifying. In this episode, you'll learn: • What the most common fantasies reveal about your psychological needs — and why the ones that embarrass you the most are usually the most telling • My step-by-step framework for communicating a fantasy to a partner (even if you've never done it before and have no idea where to start) • What to do if you can't seem to fantasize at all — including why a history of trauma or a c

If you're on antidepressants and your sex drive has completely disappeared, I want you to know that you're not broken, and you don't have to choose between feeling mentally well and having a fulfilling sex life. SSRIs like Lexapro, Zoloft, and Prozac are genuinely life-changing for so many people, but nobody warns you that they can tank your desire, make orgasms nearly impossible, and quietly wreck your relationship in the process. In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly why this happens, and more importantly, what you can actually do about it. From simple timing hacks to alternative treatments that are showing real promise. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why SSRIs suppress desire and arousal on a hormonal level — and the one hack that can reduce side effects as soon as tonight • How to rebuild your sex drive when both you and your partner are medicated (yes, this is more common than you think) • The alternative treatments — TMS therapy, ketamine, and psilocybin — that are helping people get of

Solo anal play might be the most misunderstood sex act out there, and I’m done letting shame, myths, and bad porn narratives keep you from one of the most pleasurable things you can do for yourself. Whether you're completely new to anal or just looking for a place to finally start, this episode is your no-judgment, fully practical guide to exploring on your own terms. From the anatomy behind why it actually feels so good (yes, for all genitals) to the exact tools, lube, and prep you need to get started safely, I break it all down with zero shame and a lot of science. Plus, I answer real listener questions about positioning, bringing it up with a partner, and the mess concerns that are quietly keeping most people from ever trying. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why anal stimulation can unlock full-body orgasms for every anatomy — and the nerve science that explains it • The three biggest anal myths (and why they're completely wrong) • Exactly how to prep, what to buy, and how to start — so your first

After years of thinking love wasn't in the cards, Golden Globe, Emmy and Academy Award winning actor Halle Berry stopped chasing and that's exactly when everything changed. In this live conversation from Eudemonia, Halle and I get into what it really takes to have a loving connection and  incredible sex in your 50s, why she thought her partner gave her herpes (spoiler: it was perimenopause), and how becoming whole on her own finally attracted the relationship she'd always wanted. From faking multiple orgasms in her 20s to now having no problem telling her partner exactly what she needs, Halle shares why the "zero fucks to give" era might just be the sexiest time of a woman's life. She also opens up about misdiagnosis, advocating for women's health in Washington, and why she's throwing herself a "siesta" party when she officially hits menopause in March. Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube!  In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why chasing a relationship kept Halle attracting the wrong

Blood flow might not sound sexy, but it’s the fuel behind satisfying sex. In this live episode from the A4M Longevity Conference in Las Vegas, I sit down with certified nurse practitioner and ⁠Medical Director at GAINSWave, Chrislyn Chaloupka, to discuss how GAINSWave’s non-invasive regenerative therapy is reshaping sexual wellness by addressing root causes rather than simply masking symptoms. We dive into why your body might not be responding the way it used to, from erections that fade under pressure to that frustrating gap between wanting sex and your body just not cooperating. Chrislyn breaks down how this painless 15-minute treatment works (that I even tried myself), and we get real about everything from porn-induced desensitization to why erectile challenges can actually be your heart trying to tell you something important. Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube!  What you'll learn:  • Why "just relax and use more lube" isn't solving your arousal problems—and what actually wil

Sexting sounds simple until you're actually staring at your phone, cursor blinking, wondering if what you're about to send is hot or just... weird. In this episode, I'm giving you the full breakdown on how to text dirty with confidence—because good sexting is really just foreplay with a keyboard. I'm answering your questions about everything from how to build tension with something as small as three dots, to what to do when your partner wants to sext around the clock but you're just not feeling it. Plus, I'm sharing some of the hottest sexts the Sex With Emily community has ever received (you asked, you delivered, and wow). In this episode, you'll learn:  • The "past and future" technique that makes writing a sext way less intimidating—and way more effective  • What to say when your long-distance partner's sexting pace doesn't match yours (hint: you're allowed to set your own rhythm)  • How sexting can actually help you communicate desires that feel too awkward to say face-to-face More Dr. Emily: 

Whether you're questioning who you're attracted to or wondering why someone incredible on paper leaves you feeling nothing below the waist, you're not alone. In this episode, I unpack the messy, confusing space between wanting someone and wanting to build a life with them—and why those two things don't always line up. From a woman who's always identified as straight but can't stop fantasizing about women, to a listener who's been getting nothing but one-arm hugs after six dates, I get into the questions most people are too afraid to ask out loud. I also share what the science actually says about attraction—including why your post-gym crush might not be as real as it feels, and what your birth control could be doing to your "type." In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why putting a label on your sexuality might be the last thing you need to do right now—and what to try instead  • The conversation that can save you months (or years) of wondering where you stand with someone who won't make a move  • What to

A Pressure-Free Reframe on Desire, Connection, and Sex This isn't your typical Valentine's Day episode. I'm skipping the performance pressure and Pinterest-perfect expectations to focus on what actually matters: real connection. Drawing from thousands of your survey responses—and two decades of hearing the same struggles around desire mismatch, stress, and intimacy—I built this Valentine's guide around your actual pain points, not trending hashtags. From why sensory play beats a five-star reservation to how sleep might be the sexiest gift you can give yourself, I break down the science and stories behind lasting desire. In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why prioritizing rest is actually foreplay—and how just one extra hour of sleep can increase desire by 14%  • How to use your senses (not grand gestures) to create genuine intimacy and take the guesswork out of date night  • The difference between romance as performance and connection your body actually feels—and why that distinction changes everything

Whether you've been with your partner for ten months or ten years, knowing what you actually want in bed is harder than it sounds—especially if you never got the chance to explore. In this episode, Dr. Emily takes listener calls about the real challenges that keep couples stuck: shame around masturbation, mismatched experience levels, and the fear that fading passion means something's broken. From a wife who's never had a partner ask what she wants to a husband hiding his solo sessions in the basement, Emily breaks down why sexual self-discovery isn't selfish—it's essential. She also tackles what to do when your partner wants to swing but you're not sure, and why taking penetration off the table might be the fastest way to bring the heat back. In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why being a skilled lover has nothing to do with how many people you've slept with—and everything to do with curiosity and communication • How to take the lead in bed without becoming a completely different person (even if you've

Solo sex is one of the most powerful tools you have for better partnered sex — and most people are barely scratching the surface. In this throwback episode, Dr. Emily makes the case for why your relationship with yourself might be the most important sexual relationship you'll ever have. From finding out what actually turns you on to using masturbation as a way to manage stress and boost confidence, Emily covers everything you need to know about flying solo — including how to bring toys into the mix without awkwardness. She also takes listener calls about navigating different libidos in relationships, dealing with performance anxiety, and figuring out how to ask for what you want in bed. In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why masturbation is essential for sexual self-awareness — not just a fallback when you're single  • How to explore fantasies and toys on your own so you can communicate better with partners  • The connection between solo pleasure, stress relief, and overall sexual confidence More Dr.

When the wedding’s over and real life kicks in, it’s so common for sex to shift — sometimes fast. In this throwback live show, Dr. Emily tackles the myth that marriage equals the end of your sex life, and breaks down how to bring back that “honeymoon energy” without forcing it or turning intimacy into another chore. Emily shares a simple framework for staying connected long-term (including her idea of “sex vows”), then takes calls from listeners navigating a sudden post-marriage libido drop and the emotional whiplash of being single while everyone around you is getting engaged. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why desire often drops after commitment — and how to address it before resentment builds  • Practical ways to revive novelty and reconnect (including “sex vows” you can actually use)  • How to handle the pressure and loneliness when it feels like everyone else is getting married More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and m

You want to talk to your partner about sex. You really do. But every time you try, your throat closes, your chest tightens, and suddenly it feels easier to just… not. You're not bad at communication — your brain is literally wired to treat these conversations like threats. In this live show, I break down exactly why sex talks trigger fight-or-flight, how shame keeps us mute in the bedroom, and what to do when you've been together for years and never actually talked about what you want. This episode was recorded LIVE across my social platforms at @sexwithemily — part of a new evolution of the show as we head into my 21st year of the podcast. After over two decades of talking about sex, I've learned that real, unscripted conversations create the deepest breakthroughs. You'll hear real questions, real interaction, and the energy of being LIVE together as we explore how to build a sex life that actually feels good, without shame or judgment. Tune in most Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5 PM PST on Instagram, Tik

You're in love. You're committed. So why does sex feel like it dropped off the priority list somewhere between laundry and meal prep? You're not broken — you're just busy, stressed, and maybe a little stuck in your head. In this live show, Dr. Emily answers your unfiltered questions about what happens when desire fades, how to talk to a partner who clams up about what they want, and why the "how often should we be having sex?" question is missing the point entirely. This episode was recorded live across my social platforms at @sexwithemily — part of a new evolution of the show as we head into my 21st year of the podcast. After over two decades of talking about sex, I've learned that real, unscripted conversations create the deepest breakthroughs. You'll hear real questions, real interaction, and the energy of being live together as we explore how to build a sex life that actually feels good — without shame or judgment. Tune in most Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5 PM PST on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook,

Let's be honest — for all the progress we've made, most of us still don't know how to talk about sex. We can talk about work, money, kids, literally everything else. But ask your partner what actually turns them on? Cue panic. In this live show, Dr. Emily opens up the gates for your questions and wow, you did not hold back. She tackles why sex stops feeling fun and starts feeling like a chore, what's really going on when desire disappears, and how to flip the script from obligation back to connection. This episode was recorded live across my social platforms at @sexwithemily — a new evolution of the show as we head into my 21st year of the podcast. After over two decades of talking about sex, I’ve learned that real, unscripted conversations create the deepest breakthroughs. You’ll hear real questions, real interaction, and the energy of being live together as we explore how to build a sex life that actually feels good — without shame or judgment. Don't forget to tune in on most Tuesdays and Thursda

EPISODE SUMMARY Dolly Josette is a somatic sexologist and intimacy coach known as "The Pleasure Muse" who helps people reconnect with their bodies to unlock deeper pleasure. In this episode, Dolly returns to the show to explore why so many of us feel disconnected from our own sensations, where trauma actually lives in the body, and how a few minutes of daily practice can transform your relationship with pleasure. She and Dr. Emily get into embodiment work, why your genitals might be holding onto more than you realize, and what it really means to stop abandoning yourself for others. In this episode, you'll learn: • What somatic sexology actually is and how it differs from talk therapy • Why your body stores emotions and trauma in your fascia and genitals • The simple exercise that can help you release blocks you didn't know you had • Why you can't figure out what you want sexually until your body feels safe • How to do a "vulva hug" and why your genitals might be craving your attention

Mark Groves is a human connection specialist who transformed his own painful relationship patterns into wisdom he now shares with millions. In this episode, Mark opens up about the Thanksgiving dinner betrayal that shut him down at 19, the years he spent as an emotionally unavailable guy, and the breakthrough that finally let him receive love. In this episode we dig into codependency, why chemistry fades, and what it actually takes to build a relationship where you can be fully yourself. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why a failed one-night stand taught Mark more about himself than years of relationships • The real definition of codependency and why it's not just about addiction • How to identify your "Thanksgiving dinner moment" that shaped how you love • Why the space between partners disappears and chemistry dies in long-term relationships • The question that reveals if you're being codependent in the bedroom • What "liberated love" looks like and why truth-telling is the foundation • How Mark

EPISODE SUMMARY Dr. Emily visits the office of urogynecologist Dr. Patricia Wallace to explore the hidden world of pelvic health—and why it matters so much for sexual pleasure. From the muscles that control your orgasms to the hormones that fuel desire, Dr. Wallace breaks down what's actually happening in your body and what you can do about it at every age. In this episode, you'll learn: • What your pelvic floor actually is and why 80% of women can't properly contract it • The connection between pelvic floor strength and orgasm intensity • How to do a kegel correctly using yogic breathing techniques • Why recurrent UTIs happen and the supplement hack that prevents them • The truth about hormone therapy and why that 20-year-old study shouldn't scare you • What "optimal" hormone levels mean versus just "normal" lab ranges • How testosterone affects women's sex drive—and when supplementation helps • The real timeline for postpartum sexual recovery (hint: it's not 6 weeks) • Why t

EPISODE SUMMARY Dr. Emily sits down with relationship expert Matthew Hussey to decode modern dating, from confusing chemistry with compatibility to knowing when someone's actually emotionally available. Matthew breaks down why we keep choosing the wrong people, how to set boundaries without sabotaging connection, and the texting behaviors that reveal true interest levels. In this episode, you'll learn: • The difference between chemistry and compatibility—and why excitement often masks anxiety • How to identify emotional availability in the first few dates • Why having standards matters more than having a "type" • The art of expressing needs without coming across as needy • Red flags in texting culture and what silence really means • How to break patterns of settling and choose better partners • Why vulnerability creates attraction (and how to practice it) • When to walk away from situationships that aren't serving you • How self-worth directly impacts who you attract and keep • Strategies fo

EPISODE SUMMARY Dr. Emily shares three listener success stories that prove honest communication transforms sex lives. Graham's pegging journey opened up conversations he and his wife never had before. Calvin and his wife of 20+ years had their first spontaneous threesome after a night of dancing. And Jasmine finally experienced her first penetrative orgasm after years of frustration—by standing up for her needs and incorporating breathing techniques. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why scheduling difficult sexual conversations (outside the bedroom) leads to breakthrough moments • How embodiment during sex—staying present with both sensations AND emotions—deepens connection • The grinding technique that helps many vulva owners orgasm during penetration • Why breathing and edging practices intensify orgasms • How to guide your mind back when it wanders during sex If you have a sexy story to share, send it to feedback@sexwithemily.com with "sexy story" in the subject line. More Dr. Em

EPISODE SUMMARY In this episode, Emily sits down with volleyball legend Gabby Reece—professional athlete, podcast host of The Gabby Reece Show, entrepreneur—to talk about the unsexy truths that actually keep long-term relationships alive. Gabby pulls no punches as she reveals her controversial "48-hour sex rule," and how treating sex like going to the gym (just get your shoes on and show up) has sustained their passion for decades. This conversation dismantles the romanticized version of marriage and replaces it with raw honesty about vulnerability, stoicism almost ending her relationship, and why "misogynists are bitches" but real masculinity is powerful, protective, and tender. Gabby shares her four rules for keeping an alpha male happy (hint: food and sex made the list), the farmer versus flower dynamic that prevents resentment, and why her self-care hierarchy puts herself first, her relationship second, and her kids third—unapologetically. In this episode, you'll learn: • The 48-hour sex rule w