Lost: In Translation

This week, Rachel nominates this episode of Lost as containing the Second Worst Title of a Lost Episode of All Time! On the island, the Backend Plane People walk, Sun loses her wedding ring and Rachel screams at the screen telling here where it OBVIOUSLY IS, and Michael, Mr. Eko and Jin Do A Whole Plot That Doesn’t Matter. On our end, Phil evaluates the Many Prisons of Jin as well as Mr. Lee, The Most Normal Man In The World, we learn we can drink orange juice seductively, and we discuss Hurley’s Horribly Idiotic Understanding of Korea. Also, Rachel and Susana explain how to play their Favorite Most Super Hilarious Game Ever, which is AWESOME NO MATTER WHAT PHIL THINKS. Susana maybe thinks Lost is not awful?

This week on the Island, Hurley has to decide what to do with all of the food and we get flashbacks of pre-lottery winning Hurley and his friend, ChickenBuddy FriendBoy. We also realize that Rose is the exact opposite of Jack, confuse Steve with Scott some more, and have a question for YOU, our wonderful audience, about our New Outtro Music! Also this week, we discuss Rachel’s pathological fear of masks, Phil uses a hilarious voice, and Susana gets angry before we even get out of the introduction. Susana still does not like Lost.

Here on this Island, everything is CHANGING, except for the fact that Jack is still SUPER ANGRY ALL THE TIME. Sawyer gets more and more injured, we meet slightly more people, and we get Depressing Locke Flashbacks! Also, Sayid wins the awards of Best and Most Rational Character Award! We also are introduced to the Dharma Initiative, aka some of the very BEST of the Lost Bullshit! Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, Phil is sick, Rachel TRIES SO HARD TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE THIS PODCAST, AND...Susana just hates this show so much, guys. In the meantime, Michael and Sawyer cannot stop griping at each other while lying on bits of broken raft! Isn’t this fun? Susana hates Lost, and also us for making this podcast continue to be a thing.

We effed up this week, everyone! Due to scheduling errors and the fact that Rachel has been going to essentially Every Wedding On Earth in the past 9 weeks, we don’t have a new episode this week. So please accept our humble offerings: a terrible pun name, and a very short episode that includes Rachel asking a couple of random people who have not seen Lost what Lost is about. We promise that we will be back next week with a new episode, dissecting Season 2 Episode 2 of Lost, on which People Lay On Raft Bits For Awhile. Presumably, Susana still does not like Lost.

Welcome back, intrepid listeners! IT’S SEASON TWO TIME!!! We are back after our summer hiatus with some fun stories about what we did on our summer hiatus, and NOW WE ARE BACK TO LOST! And it’s a Jack episode, so we are pretty much immediately unhappy to have to be dealing Jack the Baby King of the Island again. Susana continues to IMMEDIATELY call plot points ahead of time, much to the extreme frustration of Rachel and Phil, to the point where we wonder why we even bother at this point. We also answer some emails, talk about Jurassic Park, and realize how much Below The Hatch reminds us of Portal. Susana still does not like Lost.

LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 1! Susana is the happiest she has ever been on this podcast. We finally meet THE SMOKE MONSTER, FOR REALLY REAL. Locke has a buttload of Island Faith, Sayid explodes a small part of Charlie’s head, and we get the beginning of the long and arduous journey of Science Vs Faith conversations between Locke and Jack. Meanwhile on the ocean, things on the raft go suddenly HORRIBLY AWRY. As for us, Rachel makes a good bird sound and likes it when people are friends, Susana makes some amazing puns, and Phil finally gets to make his Team Dyno joke. We also do a pretty good recap of what the show Lost is about thusfar. Susana still does not like Lost, and is not looking forward to Season 2. But the rest of us are! We’ll be on a hiatus for the month of August, but we will be back with Season 2 on September 6th, 2017!

This week we tackle part 2 of 3 of the Season 1 finale of Lost! The Others are coming, quite possibly for Turnip Head, and Team Dynamite is working hard to live up to their team name. Arzt and Hurley have quite possibly the best conversation in Season 1, and Jack and Locke have quite possibly the most pointless conversation in Season 1. Meanwhile Charlie makes a baby bjorn, and Sawyer reads all the bottle raft messages and has an amazing conversation with Walt. Also this week, we discuss Muzzy, the remarkable new video language program for children, Rachel’s bad a bird noises, and we get the best version of the Lost Walking Music to date! Susana gives Lost a resounding “Meh”, which means we are moving up in the world!

We’ve made it to the final episode of Season 1 of Lost, which is actually 3 episodes! We break them down in weekly installments so that you don’t have to endure a 3 hour listening process. Also we have a theme song now! On the island, everyone is freaking out; there’s a big pillar of black smoke in the distance, THE OTHERS ARE COMING. Which our islanders treat as a perfect time to get this raft OFF THIS ISLAND. As for your podcasters, Phil is the Boy Who Cried Storms Off, some of us are bad at Star Wars, and we get Rachel’s Favorite Scene So Far. We also discuss what will happen if the shark beats Michael Phelps in the upcoming SHARK V PHELPS RACE. Susana still does not like Lost.

Our Sisyphean task of watching Season 1 of Lost is nearly at an end! The raft is about ready to launch, and Kate wants off this island SO BADLY, which honestly, we can relate to pretty well. Jack and Locke get all horny over their desire to open the hatch, and Charlie is excited that maybe he’ll be famous again now that everyone in the real world thinks he’s dead! Meanwhile Phil learns some things about Iowa that may come in handy for travels this summer, and we continue to make many many Hamilton references. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, PHIL IS THE WORST AND RUINS RACHEL’S DREAMS. Also we keep talking about Lost, even though both Rachel and Susana would rather talk about Hamilton. On the island, Shannon deals with the aftermath of Boone’s death, and Jack deals with the aftermath of his own stubbornness. We get a lot of awesome Sayid stuff, and Sawyer weirdly bonds with Turnip Head, the day-old baby. And hey! Susana doesn’t totally hate this episode! WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS!

This week on Lost: In Translation, we ask ourselves: do we even like this show? Because oh god no this IT’S ANOTHER JACK EPISODE. That said, there’s a lot going on on the island this week - Boone’s super fucked up, Imminent Baby is Imminent, and Jack is just...a huge asshole. Everyone on this podcast hates Jack so very much. Also this week, Phil teaches us more about pregnancy and labor, and two-thirds of your intrepid podcasters reveal their deep dark shoe-tying secrets. Susana still does not like Lost.

Stand back everyone, because Lost is the greatest television show of all time, and this episode is here to prove it to you. If you watch no other episode of Lost this season, watch this episode. Rachel and Phil are the absolute most excited. In addition to super enthusiasm about Island Shit this week, we also discuss Locke being past the pinnacle of hair, Phil’s consistent description of people storming off, and Father Dead, A Very Corpse. Plus, we take some time to talk about what Lost is actually about! Susana thinks that Lost sounds fine, I guess.

This week we have we have reached a Thing Susana Osmotically Knows About Lost: The Numbers! Rachel and Phil are excited! Susana...a bit less so. We also talk whether or not Good Ol’ Fun Time Hurley has eyes, Rousseau vs. Kevin McCallister, and being calm in the face of gunfire. And as a bonus, we get more details about how Phil leads a rich life, this time full of woodworking, and we finally figure out some media that all three of us have consumed! Susana still does not like Lost.

We’re out of the Rough Middle! Rachel is enthused! On the island, the raft is coming along, and we get the story of JIN’S DARK PAST. Shannon and Sayid flirt, secrets are revealed, and we get EVEN MORE more island violence. Also this week we learn that Phil is a sap and we come up with a GREAT Monty Python sketch. We also make a series of puns that may or may knot be terrible. (Spoiler alert: they are.) Susana still does not like Lost.

We’ve reached the last episode of the Rough Middle of Season 1! Things will get better from here on out! ...Except not in this episode, because it’s the last episode of the Rough Middle. This week Sawyer is ON A HUNT TO FIND THE BOAR WHO KEEPS MESSING UP HIS STUFF. ...Yes, we’re totally serious. Also on the island, Charlie hits stuff with other stuff! As for your intrepid podcasters, Phil leads a rich life full of bird knowledge, and we discuss the awesomeness of the sound of the American Woodcock. Also discussed: murder gun return policies, and how Charlie is neither defrocking nor deflowering coconuts. Susana still does not like Lost.

Our plane castaways have been on this island for a month now, and this week they have something to do other than, like, survive! Claire is back, and so everyone decides to go on an Ethan Hunt. Also this week, we discover how unmemorable this episode is to Rachel and how long it takes to get a tailored suit made. Susana still does not like Lost.

We’re in the Rough Middle of the season, as Rachel explains, which means another kind of inconsequential episode this week. But we do get Vincent’s origin story, and learn a little bit about Phil’s relationship with his childhood cat, so that’s always good! Also discussed: birds of eastern North America, and dudes bonding over acts of violence. Susana still does not like lost.

Oh man, everyone, this week we learn Boone’s Official Business Title! Rachel is VERY excited by this. Susana actually laughs at some of the Island Antics, but mostly is very unhappy about Locke’s sudden seemingly insane behavior. Also discussed: excellent nets, Locke’s Island Cooking Show, Ham Vs. Hams, and the importance of a high fiber diet. Susana hates this podcast.

We’ve come to one of Rachel’s Top 5 Worst Lost Episodes this week. Both Phil and Rachel ABSOLUTELY HATE this episode, which doesn’t bode well for Susana, who continues to call plot points WAY in advance. In an effort to talk about anything other than the episode, we discuss how Rachel loves wordplay, how crows crack open nuts, and provide a friendly bank robbery PSA. Also as a bonus this week, we discuss who we picked for that ancient “pick 3 characters who represent you” meme! Susana still does not like Lost.