Healthy Family Connections

In this episode Neil responds to a man who wants to know how to deal with his wife’s constant criticisms. He is afraid the tension is heading them for divorce. Neil explains how defending against criticisms or requests is similar to fighting over the right of way with cars. When someone is in the intersection, they have the right-of-way and if we fight it, it will cause an accident; it’s the same with relationships. When someone brings something up, we need to help them through the intersection and that means helping them feel heard and supported. Neil helps this gentleman see how his way of thinking is taking him in the wrong direction and Neil gives him a healthy path forward. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil answers a question from a Mom dealing with her 14 yr. old son who accuses his parents of wanting to control him and enjoying taking away his privileges. Neil introduces a tool for parents to help teenagers understand that their behavior communicates their readiness for independence and privileges. He uses a role-play to demonstrate how to introduce it to your youth. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil answers a question from a Dad who in dealing with his ADHD 14 year old son is being labeled by his wife, his mother, and his sister as being rigid. Dad thinks they are enabling his son and wants to know if he is being clear or rigid and how to deal with the woman in his life. Neil speaks to special needs teen development, best ways to work with them, how to be clear without being rigid and how to collaborate with his wife, mother and sister. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil answers a question from a Dad who, after reading many books on parenting strategies, realizes that the real struggle is with his own behavior. He wants to know how to “keep his cool” when his kids don’t listen. Neil helps Dad by explaining the difference between unhealthy and healthy expectations and goals. Neil invites Dad to embrace the opportunities for personal growth offered by being a parent and demonstrates how to talk with kids to successfully set up change in the parent-child relationship. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom whose young adult daughter is just getting out of a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. Her daughter wants to use medical marijuana for her anxiety and her mother knows that she’s a lot calmer on it. Mom wants to know if she should support that or not. Neil speaks to the damage done by many years of substance abuse by this young adult and offers a paradigm for making healthy decisions going forward. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who doesn’t like that her husband is using pornography. Neil explains both the healthy and destructive uses of porn and the impact they have on relationships. He then helps this woman understand how she might engage a healthy discussion about her feelings. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a woman concerned that her therapy isn’t providing her with what she needs. She’s being advised to get divorced and start anti-depressants, and she doesn’t like those options. Neil lays out the 5 critical things high quality therapy needs to provide, when a client feels mired in a painful situation. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a mother whose 2 daughters fight over everything. Neil identifies the 5 vital conflict management skills necessary in life and gives Mom a way to introduce them and teach them to her girls. In this way, she can make using the skills more attractive to them than fighting and arguing. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother struggling with her bright talented daughter who is critical of almost everyone. She knows something needs to be done when the school tells her that they’ve talked to their daughter about bullying. On the school’s advice, parents sent their daughter to therapy, but with nothing changing they reached out to Neil. Neil examines nurture and nature possibilities and helps Mom understand that overtly or subtly, there is a control battle going on in the family that is supporting the very behavior they want to change. Neil shows this Mom how to talk with her daughter to change the family dynamic and how to reclaim an empowered and positive parental role. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode, Neil addresses the College Admissions Scandal and speaks to the importance of character development for achieving personal happiness and success. He challenges us to look at the lengths we go to clear the way for our youth, robbing them of opportunities to learn and grow from failure. Finally, Neil explains that a “great” college for one person may not be a “great” college for another and the right college will be a “great” college. In this podcast Neil reminds listeners that the give-a-way drawing of his book, Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle, Celebrating his 100th episode is still open. To enter, simply review this podcast on iTunes and send Neil an email from his website. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a woman who has her mother living next door who helps with childcare, but is chronically critical. She is so beaten down that she finds herself crying at the slightest provocation. Neil helps this Mom first attend to her burnout, and then change the pattern of her lifelong relationship with her chronically critical mother. Neil offers examples of new ways of responding to Mom’s criticisms that create a more empowered sense of self. In this podcast Neil celebrates his 100th episode with a give-a-way drawing of his book, Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who took a stand with her 15-year-old son; she clarified parental expectations, removed privileges, and got good results. Now she wants to know how to avoid this being the new pattern of having to constantly withdraw privileges to get his attention. Neil uses this question to address the larger issue of changing out of an adversarial parent-teen relationship into one where parents and teens work together in support of adolescent growth and development. Neil offers language that takes the shame out of setting and enforcing limits and standards and makes it a more normal part of adolescent growth and development. Neil shows this Mom how to engage her son in a healthy dialogue about his own readiness for privileges. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who knows her childhood is affecting how she gets her feelings hurt as a mother and wife. But she wants tools for being able to be as confident and adult in her roles at home as she is in her roles at work. Neil offers this Mom a powerful healing exercise and demonstrates how to use it effectively. Neil shares that most of us, including him, have childhood issues that affect us and being aware of that and having a tool for healing that is something we can all benefit from. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who wants to know how not to take her daughter’s disrespect and hostility personally, when she is only that way towards her. To the Mom, it is obviously personal. Neil helps Mom see how her daughter’s behavior is tapping into her own childhood issues of “never being or doing enough”. Neil helps this Mom differentiate between her childhood sense of self, and her adult sense of self and empowers her to respond to her daughter from her compassionate adult self. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother struggling with her son who avoids school work, starts and gives up on positive activities, and alienates friends. Neil helps this Mom set some goals: to help her son learn responsibility, make and keep commitments, cooperate with parents, and develop peer social skills. Then Neil gives Mom a strategy that will set the ball in motion to address them. Step one is changing the relationship pattern in the home. Step two is connecting with the school and 4H, to know her son’s needs and support him. Neil ends by challenging the listener to identify a relationship pattern that they need to change, a pattern that is limiting their potential. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

: Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother and preschool teacher wanting to know how to get preschoolers with Separation Anxiety out of the car and into the classroom. Neil addresses this parent/teacher concern after consulting with Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Neil goes on to explain the many reasons why it is vital that the parent own this responsibility and he gives parents a prescription for accomplishing it. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother wanting to help her 16 year old son open up and express his feelings. She reports that he had severe anxiety as a child and she is concerned that his unwillingness to open up is a manifestation of it. Now, when he is angry, he shuts down and she perceives it as a way to hurt others. Neil explains how Control Battles can be passive and covert as well as expressive and overt. If the battle continues, it can cement the passive aggressive behavior. Neil encourages the Mom to end the Control Battle and shows this Mom how to let her son’s behavior be a choice and not a battle; thus opening up the opportunity for him to make a different healthier choice. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who wonders why Neil didn’t identify verbal abuse in last week’s podcast. She had been in an abusive relationship but didn’t realize it until she read Patricia Evans’ book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship and is concerned that if it isn’t called out, that we’re enabling it. Neil explains the many factors that can influence how derogatory words are used and felt and how the label of abuse can be used productively and why sometimes it is not. Neil recommends Patricia Evans’ books and wants the listener to know that their emotional needs matter and that they always deserve respect, and adopting a personally empowered position and establishing healthy limits and boundaries is the best way to address issues and problems in a relationship and the best way to get great results in your life in general.

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who is feeling stuck and hopeless about her marriage. She describes her husband as uncaring, charming, and making everything her fault. Neil explains the vital importance of couples needing a “learning and growing” attitude in order to build the skills for managing negative feelings and life problems. He speaks to how challenging this is given the need to be true to ourselves, while making room for our partner. Neil offers this woman a way forward for herself and gives her some scripts for being empathetic and also setting limits with her husband. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil welcomes in the New Year of 2019 with a New Year’s Resolution for us all; a mindset of Kindness. Neil starts with Kindness towards “the self” and how powerful and productive this can be. He moves on to Kindness towards the earth, our families, and random acts of kindness. Neil wants the listener to understand that a Kindness Mindset can improve our mental health, and the mental health of everyone we encounter. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit