John Branyan's Comedy Sojourn Podcast

Video is available Here: https://youtu.be/P2GrMNTpz28 Sound Bites "Can you imagine?""It was a former cat.""Every goal requires God." In this conversation, we explore a variety of themes ranging from the challenges of pet loss and burial, cultural dilemmas in ordering food, the implications of AI in customer service, to the complexities of setting personal goals. We also delve into humorous discussions about unrated movies, the concept of emotional support animals, and the antics of foul-mouthed parrots in a zoo. Each topic is approached with a blend of humor and insight, making for an engaging dialogue.

Hey, Neighbor! This begins the busy season...  We had two thanksgivings, Christmas Decorating, and a baby shower packed into the same weekend.  Then, John got the best Christmas newsletter ever.  (Yes, really!)  If you must send Christmas newsletters to everybody you know, make sure they contain HILARIOUS KID QUOTES. Later: One of John's friends just became a grandparent for the first time, and....well....  (shrug) Will it be the best day of your life, when you grandkids are born??? We discuss why the most well-adjusted people seem to be unimpressed with newborns...   Contact the Comedian's family:  nextdoor@johnbranyan.com  

Here's a vague outline of this episode: 00:00 Introduction to Nuts and Bolts03:01 The Art of Comedy and Writing Techniques06:02 Teeth Grinding and Dental Humor09:03 Exploring Music and Generational Changes12:01 Christian Music in Public Spaces16:12 Exploring Rural King: A Unique Shopping Experience18:22 The Incongruity of Muzak in Stores20:41 Bringing Pets to Unconventional Places22:25 AI-Generated News Stories: A Fun Game28:41 The Bear Suit Insurance Fraud Incident31:46 Unexpected Encounters: Fishing for Submarines32:21 Submarine Adventures and Fishing Tales34:08 Cheese Heists: The Great Cheese Heist of 202441:49 Potato Negotiations: A Silly Exploration of AI Art

Hey, Neighbor! Luke felt led to pray for his Unbelieving co-worker--but he wonders if he prayed the right way? Also, should we just ask for "God's Will" to be done every time, or is that kind of a cop-out? Later: A woman's 10-year-old daughter suddenly stopped walking, and she wants to help you learn how to buy crutches for your child as well.   (That sounds sensational, but she DOES have a Parenting Course.)  Let us explain why social media is full of this nonsense... Contact the Comedian at Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

Sound Bites "I hate rye chips, yeah.""I hate joy.""Must be nice to afford hamburger.""Boy, it's great to have cutlery.""I'm trying to express my joy.""Freedom doesn't wait.""I've never had to say a fun fact.""I just don't want to get scammed.""I have a limited experience.""The internet is forever." Themes Wintery Mix and Snack PreferencesThe Great Pretzel DebateElection Results and Public PerceptionNavigating Political ConversationsSubtle Expressions of Joy  

Allow us to do a birthday party recap, Neighbor! Emmi Jane successfully turned nine years old, with only a small "Freak Out" involving tiny food and glue...  This wasn't the first time Emmi lost her mind a little bit! Later:  Is every 11-year-old boy exactly the same??? Pretty much. And finally:  John told the Internet that boys play with Lego differently from girls, and he's still enduring the backlash.  (You CAN'T make weapons out of Lego! Duh!) Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties05:51 The Dominance of Christmas Music11:04 Commercializing Thanksgiving Music18:13 The Culinary Adventures of Warthogs and Iguanas25:53 Thanksgiving Foods: The Unwanted and Unusual32:21 The Weight of IQ: Family Dynamics and Social Awareness40:50 The Lunchroom Legend51:04 The Hot Pocket Hazard58:10 IQ and Ignorance You can book John at: www.johnbranyan.com

It's a SCANDAL, Neighbor!  Our 11-year-old boy was the target of racist insults at school... You won't believe the audacity of that 3rd grade bully. But that's nothing compared with the text message that is causing grown women to FEAR FOR THEIR BABIES.  Tune in to laugh with us about the state of the country post-election--and to rejoice that the old Leftist tactics of calling everything "racist" don't seem to be working any longer! (Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com) 

In this conversation, the hosts explore various themes surrounding holiday decorations, particularly wreaths, and the cultural significance of Thanksgiving. They delve into the absurdity of certain holiday traditions and the role of food in celebrations, while also reflecting on the uniqueness of American holidays compared to global practices. In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into the cultural significance of Thanksgiving, exploring the irony of celebrating American gratitude with foods that are rarely consumed outside the holiday. They humorously discuss the need for turkey to have a more prominent role in American cuisine and brainstorm ideas for a Thanksgiving-themed restaurant. The conversation takes a whimsical turn as they consider unconventional meats, including chipmunks and groundhogs, and share a humorous anecdote about a blue heron incident, highlighting the absurdity of culinary traditions. In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into the culinary traditions of Thanksgiving, explo

Hey, Neighbor! Our Australian friend, Jasmine, has left the table--but her visit was so refreshing!  She went Trick-or-Treating for the very first time, and it led to discussions about whether Satan's Holiday can be redeemed...  (When is it appropriate to decorate with skulls.) Next: The Peaches shares her theory that "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is a Gospel story.) Later: When it comes to the election, DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS AT CHURCH! Make sure you stay neutral, like that person who constantly talks about how Jesus wasn't a Democrat or a Republican.  Contact us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

Sound Bites "Sometimes people die and they don't tell you.""I think the best way to go would be on top of an asteroid detonating a nuclear device.""Do you gather everybody together under the pretenses of something else?""Let's get the parasites.""Are you gonna stop eating red dyed food now because you know that it's coming from a bug?""Cereal, the reason that they color food is because the natural color of things after it's been processed is usually like gray or brown.""I don't think I'm chewing on enough copper""Hehehehehe""I eat a slice of Wonder Bread and I'm good to go"  

Sorry this episode is a tad late, Neighbor. We're enjoying this week with our friend from Australia, Jasmine! Listen to the playful chatter for awhile... Then, help us determine the difference between a Friend and a Fan!

Sound Bites "I'm actually... You can't see the sweat, but I've got two little sweat marks on my shirt.""I brought the incredibly funny Lisa Gilbert who has a Dry Bar special out and what's it called? All the Time Tired.""No outside carry-in food, drink or ice cream products. That's literally what it said.""That sounds like barbaric to me. That sounds like something that you wouldn't need to do in modern times, Brian.""Yeah, I like it. I'm a fan. I get that in the sushi, so.""He misses a lot of spots, so I still have a lot of work to do, but it's still helpful.""Santa's dead.""The responsibility of my kids still believing in Santa or not is not mine as a parent. It's not for me to tell them. I'm not going to have blood on my hands. It is all the kids on the playground.""I'm not signing for a fake guy anymore."  

We have an important question for you today:  when you travel, do you unpack your suitcase and put things in the hotel dresser??? And speaking of traveling, the Peaches has a HOT TIP for packing clothes for lots of kids!   Then: here's a sermon illustration you probably should NOT use... and an example of the world's worst Humor Sermon.  Later: Put on your serious pants, because we have another important question. Can you be a homeschool parent if you think Elon Musk is smart?  The internet sounds off. Finally, contact the Comedian's family to tell us how many days a retreat or conference needs to last...  nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Imagine our shock and horror when we realized this gem had been skipped over!  It's here now and that's all that matters.   "Why have we never seen a book written from the opposite perspective?" "Men don't mind being objectified. That's every man's dream." "In this dystopian future, men would be content with their role as sex slaves." "Kids start to act better during December because Christmas is coming" "What they should do is take your annual raise and divide it by 52" "When she's mad, she doesn't care that she's taller than me" "Boredom for parents is just a distant dream" "Nothing thrills me like washing the dishes" "Boredom is intended to be a punishment"

Welcome to the table, Neighbor.  Is there anything more manly than mowing your lawn?   Modern gas cans suuuuuuuck.  And also--if you have a bald baby girl, just put a bow on her head when you're going out! It will be a courtesy to strangers in public... To contact The Comedian's Family, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . 

Sound Bites "I made a sound, a pretty girly, feminine sound.""He was clinging to my arm as I tried to get him off.""Hornets are the jerks of the animal world.""There aren't very many cool injuries though, really.""Yeah, or you were trying to like rescue somebody from like, you know, push a car out of the street or something.""I don't ever want to be stung by anything that isn't a murder hornet.""Leaving early at a thing that you enjoy. That's funny.""It's like, spoiler, Dorothy makes it home in The Wizard of Oz.""It's like you're not getting out of the parking lot before me, pal.""War of the Worlds, the movie by Orson Welles, before inspired by the radio play by Orson Welles, inspired by the short story by Jules Verne written in 1890? That ending?""My dad likes to arrive everywhere early. He  also likes to leave everywhere early""It's not even watered down mango juice. I know you don't like the taste of mango."  

The McKinney's have BIG NEWS.  (So, here's an obscure quote from an old movie... do you recognize it?) We chat about all the horn-tooting compliments we've received this week.  Then: John shares another example of "men can't win" with the Feminists, no matter what they do. Later:  You get to hear the advice that John shared with a Highschool-age Peaches YEARS AGO and has been repeated countless times since... Finally:  What would you do in a crisis situation? Would you steal? Murder? Eat your loved ones? Who really knows for sure????? Christians really need to stop saying they may or may not act like Pagans when they're caught in a hurricane and forced to sin...   Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com  

Takeaways Natural conversation is key in stand-up comedy, and segues are not always necessary.Internet connectivity can be unpredictable, causing interruptions in online conversations.The ironclad beetle is a fascinating creature that can withstand immense pressure.Being in the same room during a podcast recording can eliminate technical issues and improve the overall experience. Incorporating elements of a rock concert into a comedy show can add excitement and enhance the comedic experience.Audience participation can be a fun and engaging way to involve the crowd in the comedy show.Breaking up with a realtor can be awkward, but it's important to be upfront and honest about your decision.The real estate industry can be confusing, with different types of agents and agreements, but it's important to understand the process when buying or selling a house. Sound Bites "You don't need segues, just transition to whatever it is and who cares.""There's a beetle that you can drive a car over and not crush it.""They're

Welcome, Pkarghl!  The Pod Ninja saw a church sign that he didn't like very much...  If you want to make things REALLY WEIRD for the men at your church, John and Luke can tell you how.  Then: God is very mad at librarians...  But let John tell you about his conversation with Sheila Gregoire first. Later:  If you want the PERFECT GAME for bossy women--may we suggest The Sims?  Or Roller Coaster Tycoon?   Contact the comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com