Regular Features

Who likes accompanying good boys on strolls? I hope the answer is you because that is exactly what this podcast is. Huge shoutout to Jack Forster for his lovely piece of music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq50706XIzw

Hello girls, it's us, the Regular Features people, and we've got another episode of the podcast what we done for you out of our mouth holes. Log has got a series of reasons why he's not done a feature, Matt finally snaps and goes mad racist, and Steve channels the ghost of crambles past. Happy new year all of you. We genuinely love you.

Log found a Christmas script in his pub and wouldn't you know it we decided to perform the whole thing. It's insane that we're not making this up. Music used: "A Christmas Tale" by Lena Orsa https://freesound.org/people/lena_orsa/sounds/414673/ "Creepy Lullaby, A" by InspectorJ https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/412224/

This week's podcast may or not be getting beamed into your drug addled brain from the future. It features Steve, Matt and Joe. What more do you want?

This week Steve is off to Grenada and shares some hopes and dreams for his trip. Joe has just come back from Japan and apparently it's still mad over there. And Gav thinks he's seen his dead Grandmother's face on a games journalist. Sounds good? You get your big arse it is!

In this week's podcast, Matt and Steve take you on a journey to space and back to Italy. How can just two men seamlessly transition from one to the other? Well, you'll just have to listen to this mother, won't you?

WHOA THERE GIRLY GIRL, where do you think you're going dressed like that? To the 19th Century salon to listen to discourse from the most active minds of our time? Well yes, I did forget that this podcast description is a period piece. Anyway, who will be in attendance, and what will the be discussing? - Matt's depressed, but it's OK because he got some drugs that make his bits stop working. - Joe's accidentally stolen music and makes amends while still peddling a get-rich-quick scheme. - Log tells the beautiful, international tale of a gas cloud en route to his lady-love. - Steve and Gav couldn't be arsed.

We've got a bit of a Frankenstein podcast this week as Joe n Gav send in bits of a podcast to add on to Steve and Log lovely chat. LEGAL NECESSITY: Joe's songs were constructed from the beautiful bones of "Reunited" and "Nowhere Land" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

On this week's podcast, Steve & Gav go to TWO different video games studios (not in the same night, we're not CRAZEEEEE) and Log is here to predict the outcome of the mid-term elections which have already happened.

All hallows we'en may have already passed, but that means it's technically behind us now, which is the spookiest place something can be. So permit us one last spooky feature, performed by Steve, and one last spooky error, performed by Matt when he deleted half the episode. Sorry about that. It's Regular Features baby. Got it?

*CLANK CLANK CLANK* That's the sound of the ol' Feature machine cranking into life. *GONK GONK GONK* Look! It's producing features at a rate of knots! *FART* It's Steve's food riddles! *FART* Log's gone deaf and thinks he's a superboy! *FART* Joe feels sorry for a chef! *FRRRRRRK* Oh Christ, another zero-hour contractor fell in the workings. *GAAAAAAAAAA* oh my gOD RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN

In this prematurely spooktastic episode of the Regular Features podcast, Steve does a double haunting ghostwise, and Joe and Gav realise they have finally made it... *record scratch*... in HUNGARY?

Look, we're just going to cop to it. We can't control Matt, but we also won't pretend that we haven't enabled him in the past. We're sorry for what happened. Just know that you're safe now, because he's behind strong Canadian bars. Anyway, now that's out of the way, Joe's got some YouTube comments he can't believe, and Steve's been doing some pretty thorough research about the ACTUAL MOON. Gav has his phone on.

On this week's podcast, Steve brings us a a report from the frontline of a Barry Manilow gig and we're happy to tell you that the ol' Mandy lover's still got it. We've also got Log smuggling in a bit of advertorial as a feature like two Muppets running into a XXX movie. Gav is also on the podcast. Please consider giving us money on http://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

In THIS one... Matt probes his way around the galaxy. Log shares his tips on how to utterly thrill a baby. And Steve draws back the curtain on the secret life of the Supervet. It's an episode Regular Features, your honour, and our legal counsel has advised us to say no more on the matter.

Wrap your earholes around this one, if you like. If you don't, just leave it on the table and I'm sure somebody else will want it. In this episode Joe lets you live out the squash career you never had. Steve reviews a restaurant that never was. And Log offers you the love you never deserved. Thank you for downloading this. If you'd like to support us on Patreon, you can do that at patreon.com/regularfeatures

In a podcast first, Steve's got a Spider-Man feature, and Log's got a Spider-Man feature, but thank Matt for his insulating layer of non-Spider-Man related whimsy about the videogames industry's darkest secrets to prevent a Regular Features implosion.

It can only be episode 309 of Regular Features, and you know what that means: more tip-top audio content from the boys what love ya. Joe has been properly researching how to show someone a good time without spending any money, except on spaghetti and string. Steve had a argument with a lady so fierce that a pizza shop burned down, and Log introduces a Cockney-off that promises to completely gentrify Mile End. Cram your buds in your lugs and bang your knees together in unfettered glee!

Daddy needs new shoes and the only way he's going to get them is if you listen to this lil podcast o' mine. Gav tried to trick people with meat? Whoa! Steve tells a sexy little story about Spider-man's nighttime num-nums? Hachi-machi! Joe leaves the room to welcome in a very special, very stinky guest? Who dat? U GOTTA LISTEN BABY!

Log tries to take the pressure off of Madonna for her Aretha tribute, by doing one even less appropriate. Matt fuses spookies and politics to erotic effect, and Steve tells a story about a bird.