Regular Features

She packed my bags last night, pre-flight. Zero hour, nine AM. And I think I'll be high-igh-igh, as a kite by then. That's a little poem I just made up about the latest episode of Regular Features, because Joe has a feature about a sky penis (high as a kite), Steve has a feature about haunted pins (nine AM, a scary time of day), and Log has a feature about Fridge Raiders (pack your bags full of them if you're going out). If you like it, great!

Matt went to Denmark and discovered a practical application of socialism. Meanwhile, Log went to a new and angry post office. Steve attended.

Oh it's you. Hey! This week Joe is doing the opposite of safe cracking. Steve is doing the opposite of giving his bike to a policeman. And Log is doing the opposite of satirising an actual living person who has legal recourse to lawsuit our sweet little puckered patoots. It's opposite time! Please don't support us on Patreon!

Let Gav and Steve take you on a journey involving werewolves, blankets, Michael Jackson and a woman who may or may not be crying.

Stop or we'll shoot! Shoot a hot load of podcast bullets into your willing face, that is, because this week's episode is all about justice. Justice for Steve and his busted up mouth. Justice for Log's new film noir detective stories. And justice for Joe, who couldn't do a feature because the actual police said they'd arrest him if he tried. Hoobastank!

Only two boys turned up this week, but thankfully those two boys were LOG and MATT, who are very capable indeed thank you very much. There's legs going crazy, there's Assange getting arrested and erotic, and strike me down if there isn't a Toon Blast Bear Daddy aside. Byyyyye.

Plasticene! What's that about? Doesn't taste of anything, but once you've eaten the white strip you have to eat all the other colours because it stands to reason they'd taste of SOMETHING. Life got in the way this week, and we couldn't meet up: but you're not getting away without an epside: Gav, Joe and Log have recorded solo features for your sequential enjoyment. Log gets over his self-deprecating instincts, Gav quizzes the living heck out of himself, and Joe apologises to a reader after our very special guest, Daddy Champion invites us into his steamy dreamy world of Daddy.

Joe's been spying on Uri Geller, Log's investigated the new financial year but WHO CARES because there's a missing beard to discuss!!

In this episode you will meet no fewer than three James Gandolfinis, no fewer than one Grapesalicious Bordain, and one more than none Matt Lees with a bunch of allergies sellotaped to his back. Hello, this is Regular Features, and thank you for giving us your ears again.

Curl up in bed with this special sleepy episode of the Regular Features podcast, which is all about that good white stuff, ie. sheets and snow. Steve celebrates World Sleep Day slogans, and Matt recounts a recent trip into the mountains when his arse clamped shut as a vice. Oh heavens. Have a nice day.

This week Gav's got tales of Welsh poop, Joe does some fantastic voice acting and Log brings us Regular Feature's first ever interview (we think). If you like this please consider supporting us: patreon.com/RegularFeatures

Joe wants to jump headlong with his long old head into the world of podcast-TV adaptation. Steve has something extremely erudite to say about the Shamima Begum affair. Log's thinking about shagging again.

Log's watched a TV show, Joe's examined a trailer, and Steve's seen a film, and they're ALL drinking whiskey out of a little glass submarine. That's right, it's time for another craaaaazy episode of Film 2019 with us, The Claudia Winklemens.

Log introduces us to the strange and wonderful land of Fist World. Steve introduces us to the new political party of Westminster. And Joe introduces his ears to the incredible sounds of the London underground.

This week Gav brings you the news as per usual and Steve remembers an old cheat code which caused an old man to get his nips out. Please support this filth on Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

Nothing in this world is certain except Dale Winton coming at you with some celery, demanding you feed it to him, and then slapping it out of your hand and turning away coquettishly when you try to. And taxes. In this episode you get both. Matt shares his Brexmageddon bunker shopping list. Log dreams about business. Steve offers encouraging commentary.

Somehow, despite being down to fewer members than normal, we wrote twice as many the number of average features? Somebody get onto Einstein because this is some bad math!! Anyway Joe and Steve were here and Log helped loads from far away.

In this one, Steve tells the true story of Prince Philip's big nasty car flip, Matt steals a towel and Joe has problems with slime towns. Yes, the audio quality is garbageholes, but we had to make do. We made so much do, that it went everywhere. Sorry.

Hi, I'm J0n0th0n, the Regular Features webmaster. This week, Steve, Joe and Log compared farts, became Mortal Kombat characters and were graced with the return of a shy friend. Don't forget that I'm always here too, the webmaster, making sure the http has an S on the end and setting up the email Daemon. Don't you want to know what I did this week? Of course you don't. Pity poor J0n0th0n.

Everyone's banging on about that Bandersnatch so we've got TWO Choose Your Own Adventures this week that are much better cause they're not about games because we're cool dudes not nerds. Please support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/regularfeatures