Dealing With My Grief

People have been reaching out to me asking what I'm doing this year for Mother's Day.  I will say a prayer for my mom, have a conversation with her... even if it's one sided and I'll do something that we'd normally do together. At least that is the plan. "Plan" is the operative term. Just because I think that's what I want to do doesn't mean it'll happen that way. If I feel I need to switch it up, then I will. I encourage you to do the same. Make a plan and if it doesn't feel right, then change it and do something you're comfortable with. It could be meeting family or friends, or stayin home alone. Finally... and I probably should have led with this... Happy Mother's Day to all the ladies. every day is Mother's Day! I love you, mom!! For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to

After seeing so many posts about time healing all wounds this bast week and with the NFL draft taking place, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to talk about that dirty little for letter "T" word again... time. Teams look to the NFL draft to make there teams better. Instead of waiting for their allotted pick to come and hoping that the player they may want to select will still be available the take action - they trade up to get to get him. This may cost them other pick in this draft or future drafts. It may ever\n cost them someone that is currently on t.he team. Time heals all wounds is only half of the equation that's only true a third of the time - yes, that is Darwyn math. But is simplty means that time AND action begin the healing process. even then it may not work out as expected or planned. I think people believe that time works the same with grief as it does with a cut or wound - the body has its own way of healing itself in this instance. Blood clots, a scab forms, and cells regenerate. we do very

Today is the 41st anniversary of my father's murder. I hcan vividly remember everything that happened on this day back on April 24, 1978. Walking into the store and finding my father lying face down in a pool of his own blood. The difference this year is that I have to face this one alone... mom is not hear for me to talk to. The force that used to calm me and help me somehow make sense of all of it in no longer with me; she is with my father. For the first time in 41 years, they are finally together on what will be their 55 wedding anniversary on April 25, 2019 Mentally I feel like my emotions are like a steel ball in a pinball machine...they are all over the place. At least I can take solace in knowing that they are finally together again. For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click

This past weekend I participated in the 7th Annual DC Webfest, which showcases independent digital content creators in the areas of short films, web series, games, VR, podcasts and other areas. Surprisingly, the podcast won the festival's highest award for podcasting - the Gold Award. I'd like to thank DC Webfest, 20/20 Productions and the judges who voted for the podcast. It was an honor to be included for selection with so many other great podcasts. With that said, I made a stunning observation... people are listening to the message and with enough encouragement are sharing their own stories. during the presentation ceremony I found out that the festival's founder recently lost her mother to leukemia. Many people were very interested in my story and really appreciated the conversation I'm continuing to spread around normalizing the conversation around grief. The lesson - keep talking about it... don't be silent. You never know who might be listening or how you might be an inspiration for them to tell their

I've been asked if I get depressed after doing an episode of the podcast and Ive been told by many people that they can't listen to my show because they get the vibe that it will be depressing and it'll make them sad. I ask these people if they watch television shows like NCIS, Law & Order, This is Us, or even 48 Hours. If the aswer is "yes" then my follow up question is why do you watch a show where you know someone is going to die and watch to see how the criminal gets caught, but you don't care about how someone in real life is picking up the pieces after losing someone special in their life.  We do we rush to fake TV shows but not want to help real people that we know that are going through real life tragedy? Inquiring minds want to know! For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS

Today I have a chat with Tom Biddulph. Tom's blog, Good Grievings chronicles the several loss stories he's experienced throughout his life. As one who wrestled with if and how to share my own story, I was curious to discuss why he chose to blog about grief, or even speak about it in the first place. As always, I'm always interested in discussing grief with other men. You can find Tom's blog here: Good Grievings Or connect with Tom on Twitter: @GoodGrievings For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Facebook - https://facebook.com/group

Reach in you pocket, wallet, or purse and pull out a bill, for me that is a 20 dollar bill. Now look at it and frocus on the different element of the bill. Where was it made? Have you been there and if so how did you like it? How are you going to spend that money? Put gas in the car, buy groceries, or pay bills. maybe you'll save it - who knows? When my parents died, they were different things to different people - mother, father, daughter, son, brother, sister... you get the picture. So when my mom died I had to think about others, how was she going to be memorialized. What things did her sister and my cousins want or not want to do. It could be all about what I wanted to do. Getting back to that bill that you are holding... you could spend it allon yourself or you could take part of that an do something for someone else - buy yourself lunch and spend the rest on a greeting card to brightens someone else's day. Even though it is hard to think with your head while grieving, it is possible to think with your h

Sometimes the things I plan don't come out as expected. This podcasr, for example, is edited before being released. You don't hear all of the umms, aahs, ands, or buts that I say during the episode's recording. The reason for this is that I've edited them out. Grief is the same way... Sometimes, I put on a smile or tell people that I'm doing OK, but really I'm not. I'm simply masking my feelings because I don't want people to know that I'm hurting. I'm still trying to cope with the loss of my mother and I don't want others to know that I still haven't got that quite figured out. How will I handle this?  For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/de

This week I share an amazing conversation I had with a woman who is teaching her children that it is OK to speak about your grief and that it's Ok to be vulnerable around your children when it comes to grief. Rhiannon Jones is a writer, life coach and author of the book “The Web of Grief.” She has written blog posts and articles for charities such as The British Heart Foundation as well as the mental health charity, Mind. After losing her brother suddenly and unexpectedly, she made the decision to not take life’s blessing for granted, to help people to live to their fullest potential and to support those who know the pain of grief. When not actively helping people through her work, she enjoys spending time with her three boys and husband, learning Spanish and usually has her head stuck in a book. She is currently working on a new book to help people live their fullest, happiest and most authentic life by empowering them to grasp their potential and know their worth so that more lives aren’t wasted away until

I had the opportunity ro watch one of my favorite movies, The Untouchables and to reflect on one of the key quotes of the movie for me... "What are you prepared to do?" This movie centers around Prohibition in America, a time when the manufacturing and consumption of alcohol was illegal. Al capone establishes an illegal alcohol empire by manufacruing and selling liquor on the black market. Elliot Ness is a federal agent who enlists the help of Jim Malone, a Chicago police officer to help him catch and arrest Capone. Malone wants to know exactly what Ness is willing to do to convict Capone. This phrase... "What are you prepared to do?" reminds me that in moving forward I might have to do things that I never thought that I should or could do in starting our continuing my grief recovery process - something I simply call "being comfortable being uncomfortable." It's being open to the possibility that you can live through your pain and just simply live again and that it might be difficult and painful doing so. If

 It is not often that I have a conversation with someone who has suffered multiple losses and has found the courage and the means to use it a way to help others who are going trough their own struggles. Anne Brener is the author of “Mourning and Mitzvah: A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path Through Grief to Healing” first published in 1993 and now revised and expanded and published as a 25th Anniversary Edition from Turner Publishing. An ordained rabbi, psychotherapist and spiritual guide who serves on the board of the Aleph (AH-lef) Alliance for Jewish Renewal, Rabbi Brener takes the hand of modern mourners to gently guide them through the mourning process. With MOURNING & MITZVAH, she offers real solutions for healing. While still in her early twenties, losses included the suicide of her mother, followed three months later, by the death of her 19-year-old sister in a car accident, her only sibling. What began with the personal journal of her own struggle for healing, became a bestselling book

The Washington Post has a longtime running advertising tagline, "If you don't get it, you don't get it." I always thought that this meant if you didn't subscribe to or read the Washington Post newspaper tyou were missing out on the best news you could get about the DC metro area and the most political news possible. Now, as it relates to my grief journey, it simply means that that unless you've been through your own grief journey, you don't truly have an understanding of what it's like to go through this. But as I reflect on my grief journey, there are some things that people still don't get about grief and some things that I I don't understand why grief is still a taboo subject to talk about... until it's not. For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me u

Sam Feldman and Ken Levy are members of the National Widowers' Organization. It's an organization created by Sam to help men deal with their grief by talking about it with other men. we have a candid discussion about losing a spouse, finding companionship after loss and the act of moving through your grief by sharing your experiences with other widowers. for more information about the National Widowers' Organization visit: https://nationalwidowers.org/ For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygri

When my dad died, I struggled moving forward because I couldn't let go... not of my father, but of the things that kept me from living - fear, anger, revenge, uncertainty. I had to let those things go in order to mentally and emotionally let myself live. I have to now retrain my brain to do the same thing in the absence of my mother. For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I returned to work for the first time THIS YEAR after the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. Usually when the government shutdown happens ist only for a day or to until these things get resolved, but not this time... the shutdown lasted 35 days. No one was prepared to go that long without receiving a paycheck.  So this week I reflect on the uncertainty presented with grief as it relates to the recent shutdown, and is it possible to prepare for such things. For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/de

A few weeks ago I spoke to a widow who's support system disappeared after she lost her husband. Today, I welcome a guest who's support system vanished in the course of 15 months... yes, months because they all passed away! Sandy Rocourt is a creative writer, speaker, and strategic transformational educator, who helps clients turn the tragedy of loss & heartbreak into the strength needed to rebuild their lives. Sandy is currently completing her memoir by winter of 2019. After going through multiple traumatic losses in a short 3-year span, Sandy found triumph when she discovered a library of personal development books that her now deceased sister had collected. Her journey of self-discovery led Sandy to become a graduate of the acclaimed Robbins-Madanes life coach training program and dedicate her life to empowering others to develop their own toolbox to overcome life’s storms. Today, Sandy works with clients through group coaching and speaking engagements to teach you how to move beyond the pain of grief a

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. Mother Teresa 3 years ago I embarked on a journey inspired by two people: One who inspired me to tell my story - this person still has no idea of this and Dave Jackson,from the School of Podcasting who introduced me to the medium through which to tell it. At the time I just wanted to get some things off of my chest. Things that I had been carrying around at that time some 38 years. Just to be able to clear my head of some things that I will carry forever, some things that I won't be able to let go off... things I'll never be able to forget! January 2016 was the beginning of feeding myself mentally from feelings I'd been suppressing for years but never trully talked about with anyone exept for an annual conversation I would openly have with my mother on the anniversary of my father's death. Other times I might have asked vailed questions about life that might have been derectly related to my father, parthly because I didn't want her to think that I was no

As I mentioned, I am going to use this platform more to give others an opportunity to speak out about their experiences moving through the grief process. This week I have a discussion around being abandoned by those you thought would be your biggest supporters. Michelle Marek was born and raised in Maryland and grew up poor Her parents always pushed her to have a better life than them. She fought for everything she's accomplished, including RN BSN degrees, mother of 2 sons. Her second marriage was to the love of her life, something she never thought she would have. Their marriage wasn't perfect but it was theirs. Sadly they didn't get their forever story. Her life now is about helping widows to not feel abandoned like her while trying to rebuild her life Michelle is a member of the Grief Share support group: https://www.griefshare.org/ For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Appl

As the calendar has turned to 2019 I have a few things that I have found true about grief that I need to remember from time to time. 1. Grief is a marathon and not a sprint... that never ends. It has no finish line. We will carry our loss forever. 2. You will fall off the wagon. At some point you will see something or do something that will remind you of a loved one. Like hearing a favorite song that was special between the two of you. 3. Speaking of songs just like the one's you listened to in in high school... it's ok to be happy, to laugh and fondly reminisce about good times with your loved one. 4.People may say things that are insensitive or may seem insensitive, but that is not the intent of those people. Sometimes they just don't know what to so, but more importantly they don't know that it's OK to say nothing but just listen. 5. The quickest path to moving forward is to be proactive... If you wait for the world to come rushing to you to help you move forward. That may not happen.You have a voice ... u

I waited until just a few minutes ago - just now - to record this episode... I've been struggling with how I would feel about Christmas without being able to speak to my mother. This is something I have spoken about in the last few weeks. I wanted to get the ray, fresh emotions of the day. To be honest, I cried a little when I woke up on Christmas but then I decided I need to so things down a little and do some things that incorporated my mother and my grandfather into this holiday. So I made home made wine and ice cream... skills I got from my grandfather. When my mother was here in June, I asked her to help me with a modified wine recipe that was one of my grandfather's favorites - a raisin wine. It was my intention to bottle it this Christmas and have her taste the first bottle. Unfortunately, since she is no longer here I had to bottle it by myself... and I'll wait until next year to start drinking it. I can't wait! The mint chocolate chip ice cream turned out well. Doing things that required time and pat