Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success.  Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families!  In this episode: Pushing kids to succeed Acceleration programs for young children Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis  Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion Intrinsic motivation Gifted and talented children Happiness and wellbeing levels  Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences No wasted knowledge in life . Related links:  How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids? Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your Kids .

It's normal and natural for young children to want to take their time exploring the world around them, and it's also normal for parents to want to get things done quickly! Could it be possible to do both? Can we slow down and be more productive at the same time? There are practical and simple solutions that will help you to maintain the fun, build relationships, AND be productive—all while slowing life down for your child! Rushing our children through tasks Competition Developmental and gender reality Mum guilt Emotional regulation Solutions Introducing routine & structure Transitions Wiggle room or wriggle room? Breathing techniques (R) This episode originally aired 27/6/23. . Related links:  Developmental Milestones Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at

It takes a village to raise a family. Community-oriented relationships are so important for the well being of our children and for us as parents, but building them takes time, involvement, and effort. How can we create a village when we are time-poor parents, and where do we even start to find this supportive community? Building a safe neighbourhood Teachers Friendships - in and out of school Community leaders, coaches Medical professionals Surrogate Aunts & Uncles Surrogate Grandparents (R) This episode originally aired 7/8/23. . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes Name it to tame it Emotional regulation High emotions – low intelligence Tunnel vision/rigid thinking Seen, heard & valued (R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23. . Related links:  Emotion Coaching [The Webinar] The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotional Intelligence . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's a question parents ask time and time again:  What is the right age for my kids to do [insert risk]?  Justin and Kylie look at a number of hot topics and discuss the appropriate/legal age for children to be allowed to do each of these. Staying at home alone The laws in QLD Putting in place contingency plans Mobile phones, school devices, burner phones Kids need smart parents, not smart phones Smart parents give their kids dumb phones (Unplug Childhood) Boyfriends & girlfriends #816 Tween Relationships: How Young is Too Young? Sleepovers Walking to school or the shops alone Ear piercing (R) This episode originally aired 28/8/23. . Related links:  Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can’t I? Movies and Kids: When Is It Okay For Them To Watch That? Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School? When is it OK to Leave your Child Home Alone? Are Sleepovers OK? . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comment

Is there tension and disagreement in your home when it comes to parenting? You are not alone! The most commonly asked question we receive is "How do you get on the same page in parenting?" We share three simple questions that can help to create alignment in your parenting-relationship, and make your family happier. (R) This episode originally aired 5/9/23. In this episode: Weekly couple’s meeting Three questions to ask Creating the space Daily habits Getting your systems right Finances, goals, holidays Creating alignment Parenting on the Same Page – A Happy Families webinar . Related links:  Same Page Parenting [Article] What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Purchase the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for p

When our children are experiencing challenges or behaving in a challenging way, there are things we can do and say that will help them get through these rough times and transform our relationship with them in the process. We would love to hear the phrases you say to your children - record a voice memo here or email your recording to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au. (R) This episode originally aired 30/5/22. In this episode: The magic of an apology Correction and direction vs connection The power of 'yet' People matter, things don't You’ve gotta love the hills Unconditional love . Related links:  Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing How to ‘Fix’ a Problem Child . Purchase the webinar The Screaming Spiral or log in to your HF membership library to view Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It can be easy to forget who we were before becoming parents. But that’s part of the beauty of parenthood! Being a parent allows us to experience personal growth as we tap into new strengths and creativity. We get to make intentional choices about who we will become, and to change the trajectory of our lives. Why then do we often think that we're boring now that we’re parents? (R) This episode originally aired 13/10/22. In this episode: Kylie’s friend who feels lost after becoming a mum "I'm so boring!" Ideas for creativity through those hard years when you feel exhausted Why we keep growing all throughout life Finding joy in the mundane Missing life before kids Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self | TED . Related links:  How Being a Mum Can Pump Up Your Résumé Life Lessons Every Child (And Adult) Can Learn . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joini

Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and  author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people.  (R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22. Topics included in this episode – The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink Why do people say that they don’t have regrets? Your regrets say a lot about you as a person Your regrets can inform your future decisions Reframing regret Inward, outward, forward “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing Dan’s advice for time poor parents Normalising the emotion of regret Talk to your kids about your regrets Dan shares some of his regrets . Related links:  Learn more about Dan Pink & his books #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could? . Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to

A listener has asked, “Should we tell our kids they are beautiful?” It's ok to tell our kids they're beautiful, but we must ensure their sense of worth isn't solely tied to their looks. Focusing too much on appearance can make children rely on external validation and set them up to have a limited view of themselves. We share some helpful ways that you can encourage your child so they know they are enough, exactly as they are. (R) This episode originally aired 16/8/22. In today’s episode: Should we tell our kids that they’re beautiful? Renee Engeln – Beauty Sick Justin shares some ideas from his book Miss-Connection Teach your daughters media literacy Try to not comment on appearance when you bump into a friend Focus on your child’s inner strengths/beauty, personality, values “Instead of watching what goes into our kid’s mouths, we should watch what comes out of ours.” – James Corden . Related links:  Pixel Perfect [Webinar] Watch Your Words [Article] Am I Not Pretty Enough? [Article] #126 Why Your Daughter

It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how! (R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22. Topics discussed in today’s podcast: Common fights parents have with children Sleeping, eating Friends, parties, sleepovers Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress Conflict is normal Is your child's safety at risk? Control and power struggles Conversations without conflict Justin’s ladder metaphor Prioritising relationship Preferences vs. principles . Related links:  Winning the “Gaming” Battle with our Boys – and Taking our Parenting to the Next Level Eat Right Without a Fight [eBook] Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Whose House Rules? . Register for the

Are parents really responsible for their kids’ happiness? Doing things purely to make our children happy often results in disappointment—for them and for us. Instead of trying to satisfy our children's insatiable craving for happiness, we share four things to teach them that will help build happiness as a by-product rather than an end in and of itself. (R) This episode originally aired 1/8/22. In this episode: Myth – It’s our job to make our kids happy Things that could go wrong if you think it’s your job to make your kids happy Setting our kids up to fail What ARE we responsible for? Emotion coaching Do hard things Building positive relationships . Related links:  Hopeful Kids Are Happy Kids Helping Our Kids Feel Good By Doing Good Purchase Better Together on the Happy Families website – Because a happy family doesn’t just happen. . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out mo

Many myths surround parenting, including the misguided beliefs that you can maintain your pre-child lifestyle or that you will instantly connect with your baby or even that teenagers are stupid. Discover why these and other common misconceptions need to be debunked. (R) This episode originally aired 28/7/22. In today’s episode: Babies are intense! Feeding/sleeping challenges Pre-child life and routine Motherhood can be all encompassing Accepting limitations and boundaries that come with children Dads bonding with baby Birth experience can affect connection Emergency caesarean, postnatal depression  Connection can take time, may require interventional help Challenging kids The teenage brain . Related links:  Pixel Perfect [Webinar] The Teenage Brain [Webinar] Top Seven Tips for New Dads to Boost Wellbeing 13 Reasons why Teenagers are GREAT! . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Fin

How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure. James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy.  (R)  This episode originally aired 27/7/22. In today’s episode: #529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the natu

Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child." Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood.  In this episode: Can you be friends with your kids? Parent before friend What our children need from us Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend Permissive parenting Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out? High level of control can lead to rebellious children At what point is a child a good person? Mental health and wellbeing, special needs Challenging behaviours Judging parents on a child's behaviour Children make their own choices Be the best parent you can be . Related links:  Anxiety In Your

Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance. We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life. (R) This episode originally aired 25/7/22. In this episode: Each child brings a new parenting challenge Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself How do we measure our success as a parent? Balancing the needs of children with self-care  Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse What does it mean to be a good parent? . Related links:  Dadding Done Right [Webinar] Self Care Strategies That Really Work We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Having Parents in Love Is Great for Your Kids . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a vo

Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience. In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves. In this episode: Unplug Childhood Deleting apps from devices Dropping social media The never ending laundry cycle A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening! "Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood Dads need to step up . Related links:  #100 Managing Bedtime as a Solo Parent 10 Reasons You’re Doing Better as a Parent Than You Think What Dad Can Do for Mum’s Wellbeing . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out m

We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought. In this episode: A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski Internet connection and wellbeing Brain development Getting the balance right The power of touch Vagus nerve and Karen Young A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions Stress hormones damage us Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize  Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams Anger is normal Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response . Related links:  Why Getting Angry Doesn't Work #553 All The Rage: Taming Parental Anger . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voi

Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children. In this episode: Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack Life expectancy's pre 1900s Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier The 'slow life strategey' Intensive parenting Parenting is harder Time to lower the parenting bar . Related links:  What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.

Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself.  Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?" We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers. In this episode: When children become concerned and try to keep the peace between parents Be attentive to your child's worries Is it ever ok to argue in front of the kids? Examples of unhealthy conflict Respectful, productive conflict How to focus on regulation over resolution (4 things to model) John Gottman, Esther Perez People-pleasing VS empathy, consideration of othe