Sex With Emily

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Booking a massage? Those things are all lovely (I’d argue essential), but I’ve got one more thing to add to your self-care routine, and I’m going to make a case for it: solo sex, AKA masturbation.  If you’re a regular listener to this show, you know how much of a solo sex advocate I am. But we’re going to go a little deeper into this topic, because there’s still a lot of shame associated with masturbation: fear of getting caught, embarrassment about our noises and facial expressions, confusion around toys and which ones are best. That’s why today’s show is your Solo Sex 101, where we create a solo sex routine that works for you, get into all the ways solo sex nourishes your mental health, and how to get into the right headspace for it. Plus, I take your questions! When masturbation feels depressing, how do you learn to love it? Or when you’re asked to masturbate in front of your partner, but feel self-conscious about it, what do you do? I

Let’s cut right to the chase: doggy style is hot-looking, but is it hot-feeling? I can’t tell you how many questions I get about this position, mostly from people who are confused…wondering if they’re doing it wrong. You’re not! You may just need to tweak it a bit, to make it work for your body. So on today’s show, I give you my favorite doggy style hacks, because let’s be honest — no one wants a broken penis. Let’s avoid the ER, and give you the hot doggy style sex you deserve. Plus, I take your questions! Is polyamory more natural than monogamy? What should you do if you catch feelings for your friend-with-benefits? Is it really cheating if you have a no-sex kink session with an old flame? And finally — body dysmorphia of the vulva. Do you have it? Friends: let me help you love it! Don’t buy the hype, by which I mean false standards. I tell you exactly how to make your vulva a MUCH-deserved object of your affection. Show Notes: Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here in the 21st century, we’re fascinated by something that was invented in the 7th century: tantra, and more specifically, tantric sex. But it’s also one of the most misunderstood practices around, starting with: it’s not just about sex! Tantra is an entire world of spirituality, intimacy, breathwork and presence, which is precisely why I have Barbara Carellas, founder of Urban Tantra, on the show with me today. A pioneer in the world of tantric healing practices, Barbara gives us the real deal on these sacred techniques – and shows us how we can use them in the modern world, for full body pleasure, higher states of consciousness, and a radically deeper connection with your partner.  Plus, I take your questions! How do you stay in the present moment during sex, and not disassociate while it’s happening – or, get so nervous that you block all the pleasure? I’ve got some thoughts on that. For More Information on Barbara: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Show Notes: Emily’s Shop Page Hosted

When it comes to sex in longterm relationships, why do they start hot, then go lukewarm? Why does our eroticism go dormant, once the newness of a relationship wears off? And what are some specific strategies for bringing back the heat we desperately long for? It’s part 2 in our Best Of special on taking your sex life from stale to sexy, and I can’t wait to let you listen in on my conversations with John Wineland and Esther Perel, and a bit of wisdom from Tom Bilyeu. John is a relationship coach specializing in polarity and embodiment, and for this show, I’ve selected his most potent advice on hot sex. According to John, getting in touch with our masculine and feminine energies – regardless of gender – has the power to transform the way we show up in bed. Next, I talk to Esther Perel, well recognized couples therapist, author and fellow podcaster, who explains how a couple’s sex life loses its passion. Our partners become reliable and safe, which is great for a relationship, but according to Esther…not always

It’s the #1 question I get as a sex educator: “our sex life is stale, how do we make it hot again?” For long-term couples, this issue is so common it’s almost a cliche. “Once you’re married, say goodbye to your sex life! Haha!”  Except, it’s not funny, right? It’s actually pretty painful, once the new relationship energy wears off, and we no longer have that magical chemical cocktail running through our veins. That’s why I am so pleased to be doing a two-part, Best Of special on this precise topic, kicking things off with sex educator Ian Kerner, author of the iconic book “She Comes First” and his latest, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex?” I’m also sharing advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, who have led some of the most comprehensive studies on successful couples, and the key ingredients of their success. (Which includes a great sex life, of course.) I’m pulling out the best-of-the-best of their advice and techniques, so you can try them yourself, and create your own

Squirting during sex: how, exactly, does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For vulva owners, squirting is a thing of mystery - but it doesn’t need to be. In this special Best Of episode, I’m giving you my tips and firsthand experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator Deborah Sundahl, who teaches us exactly how to squirt -- and I mean, step by step. For example: did you know, vulva owners, that you have a prostate? That’s the g-spot, despite headlines you see every few months questioning its very existence. Also: did you know that clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that EVERY vulva owner can squirt? It’s not magic -- it’s anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on squirting, from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do.  Show Notes: Deborah Sundahl: Website | Book Fascinator Throw Ejaculation b

We’ve all heard of red flags in relationships, but let’s be honest: sometimes, they can be terribly hard to spot. Especially when you really want a relationship to work, or, if the other person is super hot. (Am I right?) That’s why I’m bringing you a special episode today, focused on all things red flags -- and green flags -- with my two favorite voices on the matter, psychologist and author Dr. Ramani, and YouTube’s (and probably the world’s) favorite dating coach, Matthew Hussey.  Dr. Ramani and I take a deep dive on narcissism, and talk through things like love bombing, devaluation, and the different types of narcissists out there -- as well as the personality types who tend to fall for them. And if you’re thinking, “I wouldn’t possibly fall for that nonsense,” think again! These folks are master manipulators, and at their core, deeply insecure. Next, Matthew Hussey walks us through our own less-than-ideal tendencies, such as: why we keep going for aloof and unavailable people, how we repeat painful patte

Anything worth having takes time, whether that’s a better sex life, a deeper relationship, or an awesome relationship with your body. But staying consistent is hard: we get bored, we get rebellious, we want to cut corners. We’re human, after all! That’s why, if we want to meet goals - ANY goal - we have to create rituals. And the key to sticking with them? Identifying your “why.” So on today’s Best Of show, I’m talking to Max Lugavere, host of The Genius Life podcast, and Jennifer Cohen, host of Habits and Hustle, to give us the lowdown on sexy self improvement. Max gives me the scoop on food addiction (and its similarities to porn addiction), how daily sunlight improves our health, and how processed food short circuits our satiety signals. Jennifer tells me the three habits successful people all have in common, how to get your partner on-board for working out, and the correlation between exercise and sex drive. Get out your grocery lists and gratitude journals, because after this episode, you’ll be totally i

2021, we hardly knew ya. Just kidding, we totally did, and we’ve got the FaceTime sex to prove it. All year long, we’ve been saving up the very best moments of Sex With Emily, so you can walk into 2022 more sex-wise than ever. From squirting to sex dreams, Nikki Glaser to Esther Perel, we’re doing a hot flashback of YOUR most talked-about episodes.  On this show, we’ve banked the top pieces of sex wisdom from hands-down incredible guests. Discover your dating style, locate the g-spot once and for all, and build your sexual confidence with some of the smartest (and funniest) voices out there. Before you create your New Year’s resolution list, be sure to listen to this one – because I guarantee you, their advice will elevate your 2022.  Show Notes: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner To Find Your Chronotype Female Ejaculation & The G Spot by Deborah Sundahl Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where do men get their earliest messages about sex and intimacy? Why do they talk about banging / pounding / hitting it (like they’re at a construction site), and how does this conditioning affect your sex life – no matter your gender? Peggy Ornstein is the author of several iconic books on teens and sex, but on today’s fan favorite episode, she joins me to talk about Boys & Sex: a fascinating account of young men as they navigate hookups, porn and relationships, as told by the boys she interviewed.  In this episode, you’ll learn how even in the shadow of #MeToo, boys are still confused about having mutually fulfilling sex, while still being a “man.” Listen - when it comes to masculinity, Peggy is an expert. She explains why she doesn’t love the term “toxic masculinity.” She recognizes that men get a confusing message: be dominant, but don’t be too aggressive. Reporting from the front lines of bro culture, Peggy reveals the sex conundrum that men so often find themselves in, and ways we can all evolve to have

To get our needs met, we first have to be able to articulate our needs – and be brave enough to share them out loud. But it’s easier said than done! We get worried about what the other person will say, or we don’t have the words to express what we want, so we bury those longings and wait for a better time. Then before we know it, years have passed, and that better time never arrived. We’re sexually frustrated and resentful, because we never had the sex talk that was crucial to our happiness…until now.  On this show, we’re leaning into discomfort, so we can come out on the other side sexually satisfied. In other words: we’re learning how to have a sex talk! Even when it’s just with yourself. How do you cultivate positive self-talk, when everyone around you affirms your hotness - but your brain just doesn’t buy it? Or how about when one of you wants to have sex every day, and the other doesn’t: how do you communicate your way through mismatched desires? Finally, let’s get into improving the quality of your sex

“Women cheat for emotional connection, men cheat for sex.” “Men are horn dogs, women are frigid.” Heard any of this before? Did you know these are factually untrue? In this fan favorite episode, cultural anthropologist and bestselling author Wednesday Martin joins me to talk about female sexuality research findings, now that more females are entering the field of sex research. Believe me when I say: her revelations will change your life. Wednesday’s book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free was a major conversation starter. Today, we’re more open to alternative relationship models, and a huge part of that is because of Wednesday. In this conversation, she debunks the lies we’ve been told for decades about female sexuality, including: men just want to spread their seed, while women want to protect their precious eggs. Wrong! Turns out, monogamy is pretty rough on female desire. How about this one: women cheat because they cr

Welcome to the wide world of alternative relationship models. Opening up, threesomes, and swinging are increasingly becoming more mainstream, so naturally, we’ve got questions. Some of us do better with monogamy, but some of us thrive with a little variety - and no matter where we land on the spectrum of relationships and sex, we can always gain vocabulary to explore our desires, and act on our pleasure. So on today’s show, I take your questions on open relationships and we get into it. First, we tackle open relationships when we’re already partnered. How do you establish the ground rules? What do you do when your partner has a date but you don’t, and you feel that jealousy coming on? Next, threesomes and swinging: how do you practice safe sex in a group sex situation? Finally: when you’re the third party, what’s the best way to talk to the partner of your partner? In this case, and truly all others, the key is becoming a grade A communicator – because if there’s one thing you can count on in an alternative r

You may think of her as divorce attorney to the stars, and Laura Wasser is certainly that. But Laura is also a sharp thinker on marriage and communication, and is here to tell us what every couple needs to know before saying "I do." She says that couples who have the prenup conversation are actually more likely to stay together than those who don't, and that money is an even bigger conversational taboo than sex. She also tells us what it's like repping actor clients vs. musician clients, why we're seeing a celebrity-led trend of "gentle separations," and how social media has changed the game for divorce cases. Plus, I take your divorce questions! When is it time to say "I don't," and get the hell out? Or how about if you're single, and have a tendency to hook up with older, separated men -- are they just your type? Or...are there some deeper conversations you need to be having, with them, and with yourself? Let's talk dating as a divorcee: when is it OK to tell the kids you've met someone new? And finally, af

In order to feel turned on, we first have to feel safe. And that’s the funny thing about trust: once it’s broken, it has a way of quietly shutting us down, so that our relationships aren’t as deep, our curiosity is blocked, and even our self-sex takes a hit. But there IS hope: trust can be healed. Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing, and if we compassionately work on ourselves (possibly with a partner), we feel worlds better - more secure, and definitely more sexy. So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take some of my favorite calls on trust, and how to repair it. What happens if your spouse cheated on you, to the point where sex feels sorta gross now? Or how about if you were the cheater, and your sex life just isn’t the same? (Two words: couples therapy.) How about this one: you’re in a partnership, and things are basically fine - but the spark has completely worn off, and you don’t know how to talk about it? Or, what if you tell a new partner you love them, they don’t reciprocate, and THEN the sex takes a nosed

Sheila Kelley is a moment, a mantra, and the founder of S-Factor: a feminine movement practice that offers classes in strip, pole dance, and erotic dance. “We live from the armpits up, and get trapped away from our bodies,” Sheila says. So her passion is to free people through movement, so they can return to their bodies, and have more energy to move towards what they want. This is a gem-filled conversation that you’re going to want to pause several times, so you can take in Sheila’s explosive wisdom...and apply it immediately to your daily life. Plus, I take your questions! We’re all venturing into brave new worlds today, and need advice. What to do when you’re dating as a grown woman, with kids in their 20s - but the men you’re matching with are young adults too? Is that a problem? We discuss. Next: is it possible to get “orgasm addicted” to porn? I talk you through it. And finally, beginnings and endings: how do you begin your anal sex journey? How do you end a marriage as you knew it? As Sheila says, it’s

So you’ve got a sex fantasy...and you’re ready for it to become reality. That’s great! But let me be the first to tell you: this process is part art, part science. The art? That’s your erotic self. Closing your eyes, imagining hot -- possibly taboo -- scenarios, and taking the time to discover what turns you on. But the science? That’s where we have to get tactical and think with our heads -- as well as our loins. On today’s Ask Emily show, I take your calls on fantasy and give you practical advice on how to fulfill them. Let’s say your partner has been hinting at a cuckold scenario: how do you go about finding a “third,” and how do you manage expectations for all involved? We get into it. What if you don’t have any fantasies, but you want some? Is there a way to get more creative? Yeahhh there is. Right this way for some sexy self-discovery. Show Notes: FetLife Feeld  #Open  Ok Cupid  Yea No Maybe List Book: Coming Together by Celeste And Danielle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more in

I like to think of Lewis Howes and Lisa Bilyeu as leaders in the self-awareness world, especially when it comes to relationships. Both Lewis and Lisa are incredibly successful: she went from housewife to cofounder of a billion-dollar business, he went from picked last for dodgeball to pro athlete, New York Times bestselling author and uber successful podcaster. But here’s the thing: success is empty if you don’t learn to like yourself, and both are intimately familiar with that truth.  On today’s Best Of episode, I’m pairing these two voices to bring you the most powerful advice on self-love and fulfilling relationships. We hear from Lisa, who tells the story of radically changing her role in her relationship, and Lewis, who tells the story of radically hustling for respect (and getting it) -- only to realize he needed to learn how to respect himself. In this show, you’ll learn how to ask your partner for exactly what you need, how to break the habit of “testing” partners, how to identify the masks you wear f

It’s frustrating but true: sex isn’t a button that we can automatically turn on and off. In fact, “sex” is a catch-all term for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration—not simply penetration. So what do you do when you want to get naughty, but your body isn’t on-board?  On today’s Ask Emily show, we’re taking a look at the body’s response to sex, and figuring out what to do when it shuts down. Say you’ve got a gag reflex around oral: does that mean no blowjobs? Nah - I’ve got a trick for that. How about vaginismus, when the vulva clenches so tightly at penetration, that sex is super painful? I’ve got advice! Finally, let’s talk about your partners: is it kosher to use old toys with a new lover? How do you broach the subject? And when you’re newly married, but the sex has serious problems, where do you turn? At the root of good sex is good communication, and on today’s episode, we challenge everyone to articulate their needs, and listen to their partners. Show Notes: Clean your toys with Uve

Before we’re experts at anything, we’re all humble beginners. And whether we’re learning how to date, learning how to talk about sex, or learning how to pleasure a partner, it can all seem pretty intimidating — enough to make us second-guess ourselves. “Do they just like me as a friend?” “Am I weird for wanting more lovers?” “Will I teach my child the right things about sex?” On today’s Ask Emily show, everyone’s looking for clarity in the sexual unknown, starting with: how can I tell if they’re into me? Whether it’s an office crush and you’re trying to figure out if they like you back, or you’re about to go on a date and worried you’ll be friend-zoned, I give you tips to put your best foot forward. How about if it’s a new sexual act, and you don’t know how you feel about it — or if you should even try it? I offer ways to figure out what YOU want…and not just what your lover wants. Finally, sexual evolutions in long-term relationships: what to do when you’re filled with old resentment? Is there a new conversa