Sex With Emily

What’s holding you back in bed? We’ve all got our pain points: body image, not being able to tell your partner what you want, feeling embarrassed to make noise or express yourself. But I asked you how you overcame sexual insecurities, and you came back with SOLID advice. So on today’s show, along with my advice, we’re spreading the sexual confidence gospel using tips from the Sex With Emily community. First, we get into body image: how to hack your brain to feel more comfortable in your skin. Next, I talk about my favorite subject: communicating with your partner, to create a culture of sex positivity. Finally, I’ve got a particularly juicy tip to help you let go in bed and express yourself without inhibition — to hear it, just take a listen to this episode. Show Notes: Ask Emily: My Partner Watches Porn a LIttle Too Enthusiastically Feeld Fet Life First Date, First Orgasm, First Threesome  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you build a sex room, they will come. That’s the idea behind the new Netflix show “How to Build a Sex Room,” and on today’s episode I’ve got designer Melanie Rose here with me to discuss her real-life erotic renovations. From a rock n’ roll dungeon to a high-end sex spa, Melanie has all kinds of decor ideas you can steal: spanking benches, wall-mounted handcuffs, soundproofing wall art. All of these are client-approved sex innovations, but the show has a touching side too. You get to see all kinds of clients, from suburbanites to polycules, parents to long-distance couples, discuss their fantasies and sexual desires – some of them for the very first time. And you know I’m all about that.  Show Notes: For More Melanie Rose: Netflix show | Instagram | Website | Pinterest  Where is The Clitoris? Liberator Throw Blanket Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s get sexually adventurous, people. On today’s hotline calls show, you’re bringing the novelty, and I am one hundred percent here for it.  Jumping right in: can you use the same sex toy with multiple partners? Let’s find out. If you’re in your 20s and hooking up with a much older woman, is that ok? Or what if you’re all about female empowerment, except you ARE a female, and you DO want to be choked and spanked in bed? Finally: there’s a first time for everything, so should you tell a partner that you’ve never had penetration before? Or what if you’re married, and ready to experience your first open relationship – except your spouse isn’t on-board? All this and more on a particularly juicy hotline calls show. Show Notes: Shop Page  Vesper Vibrator Necklace Bellesa Sex, Porn & (Erika) Lust  No Shame, Just Sex w/ Erin Tillman  Opening Up by Tristan Taormino The Ethical Slut Open Deeply  It’s Open (Relationship) Season w/ Dr. Wednesday Martin Orgasms & Oral (No Penetration Required) First Date, Fir

Gotta love relationship advice delivered in a thick New York accent. I’ve got Adam Ferrara on the show today, and we’re healing your emotional triggers so you can have thriving interpersonal connections. Capiche?  Adam and I talk meditation and breathwork for anxiety, the difference between responding and reacting to your partner, how to cultivate a felt sense of your emotions, and the difference between worry and responsibility. As a self-described co-dependent, Catholic Italian, Adam is as real as it gets about getting vulnerable and doing self-work, so you can experience better love, sex, and communication. We also help a caller in her 20s get more selfish in the bedroom – because when it comes to sex, selfishness can be a real virtue.  Show Notes: More Adam Ferrara: Youtube Comedy Special | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s talk about non-monogamy! In the nearly two decades since I’ve been doing the show, I’ve never gotten so much interest in this topic as I am right now. Which is why I’m joined today by cultural anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who in addition to researching non-monogamy for her books and articles, has first-hand experience opening up her own marriage.  On today’s episode, Wednesday reveals what modern sex research shows about female sexuality and long-term, monogamous relationships: a woman’s desire typically wanes between year 1 to 4. In addition, Wednesday and I discuss the difference between non-monogamy, swinging and polyamory, how to go about finding a partner outside of your primary relationship, how to set rules, and the surprising ways opening up improved her own partnership.  Show Notes: More Wednesday Martin: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube Untrue by Wednesday Martin 7 Myths of Non-Monogamy Feeld Opening Up by Tristan Taormino Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal

Have you ever tried anal play? Anal sex? Because if not, here’s my question to you…what’s holding you back? For most folks, the answer is fear. We’re scared it will hurt, scared that we don’t know what we’re doing, scared we’ll feel ashamed if we just so happen to love it. That’s why I’ve got two of the anal pleasure experts on the show today, to help demystify and destigmatize anal play, and help you open up yet another pathway to pleasure. Dr. Evan Goldstein and Alicia Sinclair talk to me about anal orgasms (not a myth), the importance of anal training, how to prepare hygienically, and how to strengthen the mind-booty connection for a successful, erotic anal experience.  Show Notes: Anal Play: A Beginner's Guide OR Prostate Play 101 More Evan Goldstein: Website | Instagram | Bespoke Surgical | Future Method More B-vibe: Website | Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve never talked about your sex life with your partner before, there’s a good chance they’ll push back. Why? Because most of us go into fight or flight mode when talking about sex: it’s not normalized in our culture, we get defensive, we feel like we’re being criticized. But never fear – you can create a culture of sex communication in your relationship, one talk at a time. Be the change, is what I’m saying. On today’s hotline show, I take your calls about having a sex talk. Like: telling your wife you want her to massage your prostate. Or telling a partner you want your vanilla sex to be a little spicier. How to relax into oral and give your partner tips to make you scream, and how to tell your partner: “you know what? I need to be seduced a little before we jump into penetration.” If we can talk about sex like we talk about dinner, everyone wins! So take a listen to this episode, and see if your next sex talk isn’t a little bit easier.  Show Notes: Embodied is The New Sexy: 5 Benefits of Living a Rad

Do you always have sex on the the first date? Do you always swipe right on people who aren’t good for you? What are your bad dating habits – and how can you break them? I asked you to tell me what negative dating patterns you’re trying to change, and you all delivered! On today’s show, I’m addressing your top dating problems so we can solve them together. Having sex too soon, trying to “fix” less-than-ideal partners, fear of asserting yourself, having misaligned expectations, the tendency to audition people for the role of life partner – we’re covering it all, so you can feel empowered with new partners and have an amazing time with existing partners.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Tips for French Kissing  Am I Dating a Narcissist? w/ Dr Ramani How to Not Die Alone w/ Logan Ury Orgasms and Oral (No Penetration Required)  More About EMDR Therapy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to sex, why was the world set up so that vulva owners are the ones in charge of preventing a pregnancy? That’s the central question of a Twitter thread that went viral in 2018, and on today’s show I’ve got Gabrielle Stanley Blair, the author of that thread – and a forthcoming book, Ejaculate Responsibly – here to talk about it. I’m also joined by anthropologist, author, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin, to unpack this fascinating topic.  In a post-Roe world, Gabrielle is calling for a wholesale shift in the way we think about pregnancy prevention: namely, by inviting penis owners and their bodies into the conversation. On today’s show, we talk condoms and sexual pleasure, how society pressures vulva owners to become mothers, how to talk to young men about ejaculating responsibly, why MORE sex ed leads to LESS unwanted pregnancies, and why Gabrielle – mother of six and a Mormon – is passionate about arguing that women’s lives matter, and so does their pleasure.  One more thing: Can pre-eja

Anxiety, depression and low self-worth all block our sexual pleasure. But on a more fundamental level, they block us from showing up in the world the way we’d like: as confident, happy, sexy people. That’s why I invited my own therapist, Dr. Anadel Barbour, to talk to us through healing those intrusive thoughts. If you’re ready, your internal work starts today.  On this best-of episode, Dr. Barbour and I discuss EMDR therapy, the four foundations of mindfulness, how to physically move through trauma, healing shame, and how to know if you’re in constant fight or flight. We also touch on sex and pain, and mindfulness in and out of the bedroom. If you’ve ever considered therapy but are on the fence about it, I hope this episode gives you some encouragement – because healing emotional wounds can truly transform your sex life. Show Notes: More Dr Anadel Barbour: Website | Instagram | Twitter  Sex In Sobriety by Dr Anadel Barbour More About EMDR Therapy Overcoming 4 Common Sex Fears Hosted on Acast. See ac

Ah, weddings. So ceremonial. So floral. After two years of postponements and cancellations, IRL weddings are back – but are all those newlyweds talking about their sex life? They probably should be!  Married sex is full of tired, toxic cliches that I’m personally ready to bust. We don’t have to settle for absent or boring sex as we grow old together. So on today’s episode, I’m making the case for writing your sex vows before you walk down the aisle, helping you recreate honeymoon sex if you’ve been married for ages, and giving you a lay of the land culturally-speaking on how we’re thinking about sex and relationships now. Plus, I take your questions: how to navigate bisexuality in a straight marriage, what it means if you find yourself jealous at your friend’s weddings and how to bring back the spark…when the spark was a little dim in the first place.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Tips for French Kissing  The Yes No Maybe List The Pleasure Planner Hinge Bumble Feeld #Open FetLife Skirt Club  Hosted on

What cultural or religious programming do you have around sex? Even if you didn’t grow up in a church, sexual shame is – in so many ways – the air we breathe. But here’s the reality: you didn’t put those thoughts there. Someone else did. And on today’s show with guest Erin Tillman, we’re calling out those judgmental messages, and choosing the sex messaging that actually serves us. The result? A radically more authentic, more liberated sex life. As an inclusive dating coach, Erin is no stranger to shame – and she’s heard it all from her clients. Whether it was that one rude thing a partner said that haunted you for years, or a parent that told you masturbation was dirty, shame love to hide in the shadows…and hold you back in the bedroom. So on today’s show, Erin and I talk about how we healed our own sexual shame, dropped performative sex, and got comfortable with the word “no.” You’ll also learn the difference between “no” and “not yet” when it comes to dating, how to make good choices on dating apps, and how

It’s a good time to expand our definition of sex. At the end of the day, sex is play for adults: it’s where we collaborate with another person, creating a momentary world of pleasure and eroticism with them. But so often, we assume that sex equals penetration, and here’s the problem with that: not everyone orgasms during penetration. Not everyone feels erotic during penetration! So let’s make sex more interesting and exploratory, shall we? On today’s show, I’m talking up all the different types of non-penetrative sex – like mutual masturbation, sensual massage, toys, hand stuff – to help you break out of a conventional sex script, and have sex that’s more tailored to your personality and desires. Because you never have to take penetration off the table entirely…but what would happen if you took it off the table for a little while? (Hint: probably more orgasms.)  Show Notes: Prostate Play 101 Want to Try a Sex Cleanse?  Penis Problems, Solved  Shop with Emily 4 Ways to Close The Orgasm Gap First Date, Fi

How much do you know about your partner’s sexual language? Or your own sexual language? In this best of episode, sex educator, author and licensed therapist Jamye Waxman is here to talk about core erotic blueprints, sexual accelerators and brakes, and the sixth love language: space and freedom.  Jamye and I talk through the communication skills you need to help your sexual connection thrive, because if resentment is the relationship killer…curiosity is the relationship healer. So in this show, you’ll learn how to turn your communication style from critical to curious, as you and your partner learn who you both are as erotic beings.  Show Notes: For More Jamye Waxman: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook The Secrets to Better Sex? Talk About It More About Your Erotic Blueprint Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jenny Mollen is the author of City of Likes, a fictional comedy about mommy influencer culture and the intensity of female friendships – especially when one of them is a narcissist. Are they obsessed with each other? Do they want to have sex with each other? And what do you do when someone’s perfectly-curated facade finally cracks?  Jenny and I met years ago, and I know you’ll love her just as much as I do. Besides being a bestselling author, she’s also an actor, host of the hilarious “Third Wheel with Jenny Mollen” podcast, a mom, and wife to actor Jason Biggs. On this episode, she talks about the personal experiences with social media that inspired her book, why she wants to see a sex therapist, and helps me answer your sex and relationship questions. For example, if you’re in a relationship, is it ok to comment on someone else’s Instagram telling them how attractive they are? Jenny and I give it to you straight.  Show Notes: For More Jenny Mollen: Podcast | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Website Her N

It’s my strong belief that pleasure is the antidote to fear, now and always. But when it comes to sex, we really can be our own worst enemies: what if my new partner sees me naked, and decides to jet? What if I try out some dirty talk, and my partner laughs at me? What if I approach someone cute…and they say ‘no thank you’? Fear can be crippling to our sex drive – but it can also be digested and processed. To do that, we can check the facts, we can remember that most things aren’t personal, and we can talk about our fears out loud. (Meditation helps too!) So on today’s best of episode, I’m talking to you all about YOUR sex fears: period sex, sharing a fetish with a new partner, old traumas, fear that you’ll never get over an ex, and much more to help you live YOUR most free, sexually healthy life. Show Notes: The Secret to Better Sex? Talking About It Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shaun T is host of the podcast “Trust and Believe,” a world renowned fitness trainer, and a professional dancer. Not to mention a wonderfully sex positive man, but it was a journey – I repeat, a JOURNEY – to get there. On today’s show, Shaun T gives me his genius sex and arousal hacks, how he and his partner keep things interesting after 12 years and two kids, plus…his favorite kink. He also opens up about surviving childhood sexual assault, how he came to understand and accept his sexuality, and the trauma work he did to get to where he is today. Trust me: if you need an instant pick-me-up around your sex, sexuality, or your body, this is *the* conversation for you.  Show Notes: More Shaun T: Podcast | Instagram | Website | Twitter | Youtube What’s Your Arousal Type? These Are the Five Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Despite their reputation as magical, mysterious events, orgasms are way more accessible than most of us realize, once we understand the science behind them. (And OK yeah, I admit – they’re pretty magical.) As everyone’s favorite muscle spasm, the orgasm is a series of contractions from your pelvic floor muscles, which all of us have, and all of us can strengthen. But what else sets you up for orgasmic success? What if you can experience one alone, but not with a partner? What if you can orgasm in your sleep, but not in waking life? And what if you want to experience different kinds of orgasm (like anal) or, want multiples? I say: be greedy with your orgasm and listen to this best of episode, where we answer all these O questions and more.    Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex.  Show Notes: There Are 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Sex Up Your Love Language Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner  The Yes No Maybe List You’re Kinkier Than Yo

It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way? Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy, and we all want to please our partners – and by the end of this episode, I think you’ll feel much more clear on how to arouse your partner.    Show Notes: 6 Ways to Upgrade Your 69 She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.