Miserable Retail Slave

Basking in the glory of the Retail Paradise/ Workplace humor/ Saving two damsels in distress at the self checkout/ Tommy needs to know about women/ haha./ On Point at all times/ AWESOME SENTENCES ONLY, the golden rule/ Constructing an identity/ The Rules of flannel, LOL, and emojis/ A little pork pie hat/ Wearing Hawaiian Shirts/ These Flat Bills/ “You sound like McDonald’s now”/ A Residual Time Remnant Tommy/ Tommy’s wild hog/ A NATTY DADDY, FIREBALL, AND A MATADOR BEEF STICK/ In Randy’s Ditch/ The Walking Tomb/ Tommy’s motorcycle habits/ The Technicolor Dreamboat/ The first strange girl you asked out/ Remembering Tommy’s memories for him/ Crispy/ Nerd at the Mall on MTV/ Only the Fitch or Nothing/ Tommy has a friend named Nikki/ “I was orange”/ a handsome orange prince/ a 1999 sitcom/ “You’ll let anyone walk with you, won’t you”/ The Love Note/ Big Bad Wolves/ Sometimes I like my women Chicago style/ Becoming a slimeball/ Spunky/ Funnel Cloud Charles/ Online Dating Nonsense/ Tommy’s life/ Why are we even fr