Omnibus

In which an asthmatic British cartoonist sells two million copies of his books of non-jokes for cat skeptics, and John knows what the handle of a gun is called. Certificate #29573.

In which a Shakespearean insult for an obnoxious blowhard comes to be used as an anti-white slur, and Ken wants to test the Appalachians for testosterone. Certificate #38163.

In which a QAnon-like conspiracy theory insists that fancy 19th-century architecture was all built by a mysterious, long-lost superstate, and John is concerned about neighborhood dogs with heads the size of pumpkins. Certificate #20354.

In which a vast hoard of gold and diamonds disppears near the Mozambique border during the Boer War, and Ken thinks most penguin species look like hoboes. Certificate #15845.

In which Latin America's first Marxist democracy tries to collectivize the means of production by inventing a proto-internet in 1970, and John just hopes it was orange and brown. Certificate #53432.

In which the pilots of a Canadian commercial jetliner abruptly realize over Ontario that they're entirely out of fuel, and Ken likes sad character licensing attempts at amusement parks. Certificate #41746.

In which German university students create a new status symbol when they add swordplay to their drinking society meetings, and John's closet skeletons are all bar fights. Certificate #36857.

In which generations of New Yorkers read about, and lasso, a series of not-legendary-at-all interlopers beneath their city, and Ken doesn't think you should trim a reptile like a bonsai tree. Certificate #36161.

In which a self-proclaimed electronics prodigy from Greece wows the credulous Beatles with five years of inventions he will never invent, and John insists that his recursive t-shirt feature Wil Wheaton. Certificate #45939.

In which a future three-time Oscar winner becomes the nemesis of America's favorite fake swamp-rocker, and Ken has prepared a little skit about the death of Stalin. Certificate #42240.

In which underslept Wyoming railroad workers strike back against a tide of pushy brush and encyclopedia salesmen, and John appreciates the Jehovah's Witnesses. Certificate #12881.

In which the unsavory feeding practices of British dairy farms introduce Europe to a new degenerative brain disease, and Ken believes Prince Edward is not necessarily human. Certificate #41602.

In which mediums and other charlatans wage a 150-year war with their sworn enemy, elite stage magicians, and John would never yell at a lake or birdbath. Certificate #44722.

In which a pioneering chemist never sees a cent of the billions of dollars that her tough new polymer earns for her employer, and Ken wonders how many Alaskans fake their own deaths. Certificate #34836.

In which the greatest turncoat in Chinese history betrays every single warlord or government he ever serves, and John had the 4chan version of the '90s. Certificate #40824.

In which a playful-looking but delicate little species is unable to thrive anywhere but its 11-foot wide home near Death Valley, and Ken witnesses a jellyfish tragedy. Certificate #41036.

In which a British magazine very gradually takes over film culture with its once-every-decade top ten list, and John is careful not to endorse an invasion of the Sudetenland. Certificate #51403.

In which a series of lapses at a Union Carbide India chemical plant leads to the worst industrial accident in history, and Ken can't get behind a midnight tea break. Certificate #52760.

In which an Oklahoma tribe becomes the world's richest people before the swindling and the murders start, and John enjoys a web of intrigue. Certificate #47911.

In which a bizarrely illustrated codex baffles codebreakers for almost four hundred years, and Ken should not have sent that text about the collected works of Dickens. Certificate #42634.