Arts House Listening Program

(Film): Culture expressed through gesture, sensations all over, and the way the world understands itself: we don’t want to put anything in here that doesn’t make it better. --- I wanted to obscure the meaning for the audience, because my experience of autism feels obscure for me. I asked everyone the hardest political questions that I don’t know the answer to. Many of them are not even in my minority. They all reported being put on the spot was quite confronting for them. Even though they understand deeply what autism and stimming means, under the lens of examination and the glare of the spotlights, they found it hard to find the words to answer these questions. That’s why there is so much giggling. I didn’t want to tell anyone what to think. It’s easy to have a closed conversation, I want to open the conversation. I want to express culture through gesture, the words are secondary to me. Because when I hear people talk in real life I listen first to their body. I asked a neuroscientist, OT, support workers

(third sound cone, chin hair recording): Chin Hair is the name of our new band. --- Chin Hair is improvisational lyrical abstractionist, dada Da Da dada daa-ists, non-modern modernist in a post-post-post-modernist city, deconstructing slime, pixels, stim vocabularies, and other ephemeral and mutable mediums. Recontextualising recycled and household objects as art supplies and renegade instruments, in combination with traditional artistic techniques and practices. Chin Hair is new-wave Fluxist, non-moralist, striving for deep ecological perspective on politics that is in a constant state of redefining its values. Contradictorily, the group remains stable in its revering of congruence and a pervasive drive for autonomy. Chin Hair is also an artist collective comprised of both autistic and non-autistic members. In the way biologists value every plant in biodiversity as a vital and interconnective part of each micro climate and the whole world, Chin Hair values the neurodiversity of all humans as an important

(Sound cone that goes with sensory stim brain): I was thinking about you, lovely member of the general public. There’s probably nothing general about you. I don’t believe that normal exists. --- I have sound to touch synesthesia and audio sensory issues. It’s like the volume of the world has been turned up way too high. Inside me it is always quiet. I can’t talk in my head. I can’t read in my head. I can’t sing or play music in my head, and when I dream it is always silent. Chelle Destefano is a deaf person, and a talented artist. Chelle and I trade day and night, in and out. Chelle can think in her head before they speak in Auslan. They have internal sound responses, from visuals and movements. They can read in their head, and their dreams are loud. One time Chelle had a dream of a rain storm, it was so loud it woke them from their sleep. Do your dreams match your waking reality? Do your internal senses match your external experiences? Do you have any internal senses that you trade, like Chelle and me? Co

(suspended brain, projections): Are you projecting other people’s ideas all over my neurology? Head in the clouds, raising my consciousness with the help of the tech team, making my MRI 3D. --- A papier mache top-down MRI scan of a brain, approximately 2M high by 1M wide. It is suspended high in the space. One side is smooth. The other has contours and textured grooves that are the MRI scans in a 3D form. Both sides have unique projections on them. The textured side has a mixture of: - Shadowy browns, blues, yellow that leave the top and bottom segments of the brain without projection - Rorschach like shapes of purple, brown, orange and blue. The shapes and colours shift. On the flat side of the brain: - Close ups of oily looking fingers. The image is cut into portions by wavy lines. - It shifts to a bright pink and purple background as the fingers reveal clear goop. There is a triangular tattoo on one finger and honeycomb patterned nail polish on all fingers. Neary is an accompanying audio piece.

(meltdown blob): It’s multiple things that collide in common, that’s also right and it’s very different. When my executive functions drop, I forget I have legs and I think I have so many hands because I get so many sensations from them. I’m a meltdown blob. A large sculpture made of paper mache with 4 human shaped arms extending out of it at odd angles. The work is all white, standing approximately a metre high and wide. There is a glow from inside it that is a warm light-flesh colour. The hard-lined shape of its structure is akin to clay that has been pushed at various angles. This effect produces a solid rock-like formation with mounds, ridges, and bumps. Its hollow semi-dome shape is off kilter. Some parts of the bottom edge sit flat on the floor and others are slightly raised. It is as though the sculpture has been captured mid-motion. There is partly transparent skin like paper that stretches across the outside surface of the dome. Between this paper skin are thick vein-like sticks, also wrapped

You’re listening to the Sublime Stim Audio Description playlist. This is a running playlist that presents the works in Studio 1, then Studio 2, from left to right as you enter the room.

(Self-portrait as human black swan): What is assumed, what is expected, what is invisible, what is very clear: the air is more buzzy, things feel more expansive, there’s a lightness to the air molecules and a depth of feeling. A human with autism, or an autism with human, or a swan with hands? I’m definitely something… A drawing of a black swan. It is set in a brown rectangular frame approximately arms length by ¾ arm height. It is lying on its back with human arms in place of where its little feet would usually be. Proportionally the arms are the same size as the neck of the swan. At the base of each arm are three human fingers. The right arm rests on the crooked elbow of its left arm. The fingers that wrap around this elbow appear webbed, mimicking the shape of a swan's foot. The left hand hangs by the swan's feathery bottom. It is rigid in position, with each of the three fingers separated. The swan's feathers have black and white shaded patterning that start from the base of its neck. The feathe

(lamp): I have an idea what autism is: switched on, lighted up, plugged in, spark, light-bulb moment, illuminated, brilliant, a light in the darkness, fairy-light enlightened, glowing, luminous. And I can describe a lamp in lots of ways. --- Suspended from a high beam, approx 1.5m high by 1m wide, a large white conical lantern hangs, its shape similar to a 1920 art deco lamp. Lit from within, it has a diffused glow, revealing paper cutouts of flowers of lace and tulle paper. The light that spills in from above reveals cartoon-like images of: Pegasus with stars surrounding it, two snakes meeting head on, a bat with its fanged teeth and open mouth mid flight, a bird with a forked tail surrounded by music notes. Enclosed into the paper skin and along the skirt of the lamp are eight framed panels. Between each are decorative trimmings and white outlines of leaf fronds and abstracted flowers. At the bottom ridge of every panel are metallic sequins. On every second panel base, are golf ball sized fluffy r

(brain canvases) In collection we gestalt: A flock of birds in the wind A school of fish in the ocean Responding to water and wind Like minds moving in collection, together we gestalt A collection of 62 painted canvases. Each is a cross-section of a human brain and shaped as such. Each brain canvas is about half a metre in length and height. They hang on black netting on opposing walls within the rectangular gallery space, from floor to ceiling. The larger collection, with 52 brains, is on the right. It wraps around two walls. The smaller collection of 10 brains is on the left. The arrangement of all the brain canvases mimic a flock of birds mid-flight. All are lit from above by theatre lights. Each canvas is uniquely painted by individual artists in a sensory map style. Each artist was encouraged to feel their sensations, imagined or real, and then invited to depict these in their own style. The brains are painted on raw gray linen, with a limited palette preferencing blue, orange, and flesh tones. Oc

(Questionnaire): “I’m not testing your responses, it’s only because I’m not a qualified neurologist and it hasn’t been passed by an ethics board” - and the other barriers between us… I made a game where I secretly test people’s global abstract reasoning. Although it’s not so secret because I have no filter and I tell everyone that’s what I’m doing.” ---- 10 large sheets of paper are hung at roughly heigh height. Each is approximately a metre long by half a metre high. The paper is held on their top edges by pastel coloured clips with string that connects them to the railing above. They float in front of the black curtain. The words on the papers are hand written in sharpie pen in confident lines. Some words are emboldened, others softer. The spacing on each is meticulously placed. Each paper references a different page of a Questionnaire workshop booklet. A summary of each panel running left to right: ● ‘The Sublime Stim’ page features information about the context of the questionnaire. This includes i

(sound cone that goes with projections): I was speaking out loud; I forgot you were there recording me. I was very busy pretending it was all in my head. I feel less awkward that way (which sometimes produces more awkward results). --- Perception informs opinion on the world in general. 10% of our visual perception is made up and filled in by our brains; because of the way the vision from our two different eyes overlaps to form the sense of one vision. Some people call what our brains are filling in and making up - projections. Especially if you’re making up ideas, you’re projecting on others. If our perceptivity is deeply affected by our neurology, may we have unknown opinions and perspectives unique to us? You know your known unknowns, but your unknown unknowns are always unknown to you. If we look at our knowledge gathering apolitically, may there still be a variance between you and me? Are you projecting what you think I am trying to communicate to you while you’re listening or reading this? Are you p

(Self-portrait as both ape and topless woman) wild and tame, strong and vulnerable, stupid and smart, masc and femme, masking and unable to mask: I can’t make a world without discrimination, I can’t end all ableism, I CAN draw a picture that holds us in the face of everything. --- Sometimes it’s so raw when you can’t regulate - if you’re under pressure, or out in society. I judge myself so much, forgetting not to feel all the things my early carers said to me. Please, don’t judge me for things out of my control. I want our society to change, and stop shaming and pathologising children that are born like me. I want stimming to be normalised, so our bodies can be free. I was diagnosed with ‘Polarised Intelligences’. In my childhood, this diagnosis was called idiot savant. They didn’t explain what the word savant meant (it means smart - I found that out at 32). My teachers’ aide also used the word ‘retarded’, which I preferred to ‘learning difficulties’ as it seemed more open-ended, and I didn’t have any probl

(Questionnaire): “I’m not testing your responses, it’s only because I’m not a qualified neurologist and it hasn’t been passed by an ethics board” - and the other barriers between us… I made a game where I secretly test people’s global abstract reasoning. Although it’s not so secret because I have no filter and I tell everyone that’s what I’m doing.” --- I want to invite you to imagine what it’s like to have your neurology examined, and share the most beautiful part of being tested - which is deepening your understanding of your own psyche, and creating vocabulary for your own perceptivity. The recent Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability found Australia is in breach of its international obligations, committing “grave and systemic human rights violations for people with disability.” Other reports indicate a power imbalance created by the current top-down NDIS approach to autism. I’ve made this questionnaire artwork to include myself in the conversation, so m

(meltdown blob): It’s multiple things that collide in common, that’s also right and it’s very different. When my executive functions drop, I forget I have legs and I think I have so many hands because I get so many sensations from them. I’m a meltdown blob. --- This is a self-portrait. It couldn’t be traditional because I’m not traditional. It couldn’t look like a person born into a female body, because my identity isn’t gendered, and doesn’t feel like it comes from my body. My identity comes from the choices that I make, and how I redefine my values. Sometimes I feel like a blob. Concept & Artwork: Mishka

(lamp): I have an idea what autism is: switched on, lighted up, plugged in, spark, light-bulb moment, illuminated, brilliant, a light in the darkness, fairy-light enlightened, glowing, luminous. And I can describe a lamp in lots of ways. --- The lamp represents a fleeting moment of an idea where you can feel switched on to what Autism is. This is my idea of Autism: Everyone has their own ideas. It’s interesting to think about how ideas affect neurology. They say, “if you meet one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism”. I can’t quite remember who “they” is, I’m pretty sure it’s one of my friends. It’s hard to have a collective understanding of Autism because we are a group of very specialized people. The thing we have in common, is often feeling we do not have very much in common with anyone. Concept & Artwork: Mishka

(papier-mache glitter brain): I had an idea. I couldn’t good word, or word good. My laughing says everything. --- There’s many things in my heart that I can’t squeeze out into words. It’s hard to understand the impact a life of ableist discrimination can have on a person. I wanted to open the door of my heart so you could feel everything I’ve experienced, so you could really know what I know. Good thing that’s impossible. It would probably be a bit much. I know living through it has been a bit much for me. I don’t want to overwhelm anybody, I want them to have lots of executive functions so they can process my shameless splendor and beauty. Concept & Artwork: Mishka

(sensory stim brain): When you touch the textured representation of my MRI, my brain representation touches you through the nerves in your fingers. --- You can touch it. This project is modelled directly off a projection of my MRI. It’s a representation of my sensory profile. Using found objects from my everyday environments. I invite you to explore responding to textures I like. You can build you own sensory profile by documenting what bits you like and don’t like to touch - furry, rough, smooth, abrasive. Please feel my metaphorical brain. I haven’t lost my marbles... I’ve glued them on here. It was strange to be formally diagnosed with “sensory issues”. Finding out that my senses are heightened compared to non-autistic community (That is 98% of the population that surrounds me). I don’t know what sensations people will experience through touching this sculpture (Autistic people are 2% of the population). Many Autistic people will have a different sensory profile than me. After seeing the Sublime Stim

(Self-portrait as human black swan): What is assumed, what is expected, what is invisible, what is very clear: the air is more buzzy, things feel more expansive, there’s a lightness to the air molecules and a depth of feeling. A human with autism, or an autism with human, or a swan with hands? I’m definitely something… ----- Sometimes people separate themselves from animals. Sometimes I relate to animals more easily than creatures that identify as human. When I go non-verbal I can still talk without words. I’ve never needed words to talk with horses. I’ve been riding my bike around Albert Park Lake mimicking swan calls. I’m pretty sure I can make a call that says “the weeds over here are really nice”, and another one that says “I’m really confused. Are you a swan?” I can make some very good mating calls. One time I got 30 swans to swim over to me, they were excitedly flapping their wings along the top of the water and calling back to me. It was the most beautiful sound landscape of my life. Sometimes I’m no

(sensory stim brain): When you touch the textured representation of my MRI, my brain representation touches you through the nerves in your fingers. A papier mache top-down MRI scan of a brain, approximately 2M high by 1M wide. A bright textured artwork, with elements of glitter and other shiny surprises that pick up the light. The under layer is white. On it are raised contours that reflect the shapes captured when the brain was scanned. It is as though we have a birds eye view of the top of the brain. These contours are abundant as they twist around the canvas, a near symmetry on both sides. The brain looks tactile, with many touchable items placed on top of the multicolour palette. Some colours include cream, teal, pastel blue, deep vibrant oranges, with the occasional flickers of brown, yellow, red and gold. On top of the orange paint, there are circular cut outs of gold sparkly material. On top of the red paint there is velvet looking material that has hypnotic squares within squares within squa

(Self-portrait as both ape and topless woman) wild and tame, strong and vulnerable, stupid and smart, masc and femme, masking and unable to mask: I can’t make a world without discrimination, I can’t end all ableism, I CAN draw a picture that holds us in the face of everything. An A3 drawing set on bright orange paper of a female-appearing person being embraced by an ape. She is shirtless, breasts bare, with one breast being pressed against her body through their hug. She is statuesque in her consistent orange palette, her eyes without pupils, and the way her hair looks carved as opposed to organic. At her hips there looks to be the tops of peach pants, a belt running through its loops. She faces the viewer. The ape snuggles into her crevasses, wrapped around her left side. The left arm of the ape crosses her body, resting on the bottom of her shoulder blades. Her hand is lightly warped around its arm. Her other hand is visible through the fingertips that curve around the ape’s hunched back as she ret