Geek Shock

Do you like RPGs? Sure we all do. But not these...NOT these. Today we rack our feeble brains to figure out what the best-worst RPG idea is. We also talk about Chinese food, Indian astrology, Fox News misrepresents games for fear's sake(again), Larry's show, Poke-arm, Catholic App, Comic-Con, Hoover Dam, plastic rice, congressional graphic novels, Redwall no more, phone charging emergencies, Green Lantern, Stephen never knew, Summer Glau's long summer, Theme Park of Warcraft, and the Big List. And I want my Singapore Noodles, dammit!

On today's show we scrape through the cobwebs of our minds to come up with our best Hollywood style pitches for "versus" movies we would like to see. You know, like "Aliens vs. Predator" but GOOD. We also talk about other geek news like Twilight: the class, Geritol-rella, Shivs & Dragons, Shat's back(!), ebooks, Bond's silence, new Supes, cancelled cookies, China news mavericks, Crazy Frog Cash, the text that saved Moscow, Red squared, Facepalm, Huge Jackman, Standing again, No Country for old Gunslingers, Dead Space: the movie and get crazy with our Versus Big List on Geek Shock! Which Versus movie did you like the best? Do you have one of your own? Put it in the COMMENTS SECTION!

What if a natural 20 is a tale you spin at the inn? What if all you know is 1's but you don't know binary? What if the TPK (Total Party Kill) is constantly your fault? What if your dice hate you? Then you must cleanse them. But how? We explore this very important ponderance as well as other topics like "No rush to blame shift", Wondering Woman, Steam-punk Palin, Bane rises, Wizard lock, Jeff hates apple...still, Pac-toon, Smith gets daring, Bus stop represent, lion tacos, Comics Code Authority no more, big jalapenos, Avatar for UNICEF, Money Machine, Evil Deader, Black Panther: the documentary(?), poor Borders and a full list of the 1954 Comics Code Authority rules. So bake your die in a pie. It's Geek Shock

The name is Torgo....Master Torgo (if you're nasty) and I have a license to fill your ears with geeky goodness. Me and my fellow agents, Dr. Vlarg, 80's Jeff, Kommander K, and Daverator go deep undercover as we expose the sordid underbelly of the Spiderman Musical, whiskey in a can, burrowing nerds, Pac-Man Apprentice, Woolly Mammoths, computer history, space jockeys no more, Aronofsky's Batman comic, deadbox, Dead-Fringe, Community goes table-top, Bond 23, e. coli: the jet fuel, Caligula resurfaces, and web shooters. Big List: Freaky Wikipedia deletions. We may never come back from this mission, especially when agent 00-fatty eats all the choco-tacos.

Look Out! Run! The Government is after our internets! Kommander K, Just Michael (the Just), and Deb join the boys in trying to make sense of it all. But what will make them break first? Godzilla? Archie? Peter Pachter? Join the crew as geekdom assaults them on all sides. One controller, One game? Blunder Woman? Zionist Griffin Vultures? Is anyone safe anymore? Put down those Mega Millions numbers and tune in to find out. Oh, Phoenix Jones! Where are you when we need you? Probably out beating Barry's pinball score, I reckon.

While Barry sulks over losing his Pinball FX crown to Torgo, 80's Jeff, Torgo, Kommander K, and Just Michael (The Just) discuss the geek news of the week. And that news gets all OVER the place like Barry losing his Pinball FX crown, Boba City Cafe in Las Vegas, Gameboy grave-robbers, Frogger (don't try this at home kids), carpel tunnel for charity, unified chargers, Harmonix for a song (or 4 song packs), 10 year olds that are better than you, trolling DC once again 'official', Stan's Star, Being John Malkavitch (or else), two losses, Marvel's loss/gain, Barry loses Pinball FX crown, NASA cuts the crap, Jack returns to D, Clive returns to hell, Schlafly returns to crazytown. It's everywhere. The maid doesn't come till Thursday. Game over, man. Game over! Especially if your name is Dr. Vlarg, ex-pinball king.

Another great year come and gone.  But what was your favorite parts?  See that comments button up there?  Hit that and tell us your favorite/worst parts of geekdom in 2010.  If you tell us yours, we'll tell you ours.  Well, we were gonna tell you ours anyway.  Plus all the News You Don't Give a SH*t About and Week In Geek news you have come to love.  And we've come to love you right back.  So tap in AND COME GET YOUR LOVIN'!!

In this episode, Torgo slowly breaks Barry's will to live, Jeff slowly tells the story to nowhere, and Kommander K quickly sums up Paul's comedy in one sentence. Plus Santa drops off a sack of geek that just might make you cry. With stories to test your Christmas mettle such as Spiderman: Dark, The Madden Movie, Farmville for Dummies (no, really), GodStoria, Brit vs. Porn, Giger's return, Sexnect, 2001+17, The closing of the Gate, Alias AKA Barry Robb, SYFY Universal, Dreammachine, power bill vs. Xbox, and more. Pour a double nog for this one, you're gonna need it...

We warriors of the couch would be honored if you would join us in our revelry in trying to disseminate geek culture from pop culture as we talk about the ease of Comic-Con, Grand Theft Washington, Fire(re)starter, Chinese Na'vi weddings, robot jeopardy, World of Own You, Blizzard leaks, One Piece of Nami's Fruit, an Iron Man without a captain, new Powers, Del Toro's inSANE, only Clooney can prevent jihad, and the Elder Scrolls just got elder-er. All this and crappy, independent Xbox live games on this week's show. So grab your leg of Targ and sing praises to the Christmas Kahless. Iiiiiiit's SHOWTIME!

In the olden days they would melt the golden calf and pour it down the heathen's throat and that's what we do on this week's Shock.  Not really.  We talk geek news.  Awesomely.  This weeks show goes into biblical detail about JesusCraft, Whed-no, putting your ashes in your favorite president, why AT&T officially blows, R18+, dirty vuvuzelas, the glory of Baba Yetu, Korean curfew, canned unicorn meat, super PS3, Alien eventually, one-face, Arsenic and old lake, and the top 9 failures of this generation of video game consoles.  So grab a glass of molten gold.  It's time to get Geek Shocked.

It's a sad day in geekdom as we mourn the loss of two Hollywood greats, plus some woman in Spain is gonna make us all rent the sun. But OnLive is is coming out we've all been anxiously awaiting it, right? ...right? Before a Duran gets your solar money we stuff you mind full of nerd info like Axl's late to the party (again), another Buffy burp, the destruction of Drake, NASA secrets, Kim Jong Fat, Picasso in the garage, sexy Quiddich, Kirby vs. Marvel, Hordes of ratings, the death of the 5 year console cycle, and ending with the Big List: All the things that went wrong at the SPIDERMAN: Turn Off The Dark preview.

Deb and Kommander K ignore their soggy slice of pizza to join us in our wonderful discussions on all the geeky things that happened in this weeks news such as Jossless Buffy, interest-less Underworld, demonic USB, Gigantic MMO, life saving Tetris, modern 911 lol, scary senate bills, a full size Endeavor, mass cheating, lead poisoning (a gift that keeps on giving), Trek online, Batman, Spider-Man, and moremoremore.  So cry Huzzah and let slip the hinteles of war!

Deb and Kommander K join us because something is rotten in the state of Brick & Mortar.   But, hey good things happened too, right?  Like uber expensive collectables.  That's cool, right?  Unless you're buying.  Then I guess it kinda sucks.  Then there's major, awesome names heading up comic properties.  That's always fine.  Like when Ang Lee directed the Hulk....  um.... and let's not forget the new lizard clones, wizard fatigue, and the fall of rhythm games.  All that and a solid gold cartridge kitchen sink in this week's Geek ShOcK!

We hope you enjoyed the special edition podcasts while we are gone. But time for being special is OVER. Geek Shock is back in this newsworthy week as we attempt to turn of our dark to bring you into the light. Find out about a lack of Dune, and increase of Tiki, personal 3D (cheap!), the dead crush the competition, beluga cocoa, urine phones, Elijah Tron, net neutrality who(?), Depp in the Shadows, Marvel TV, Marvel Broadway, Marvel Casting, and Comic-Con. Big list: 6 Comic Book Crossovers You Won't Believe Actually Happened from cracked.com

It's GeekShock Special #2: WHAT TO WATCH!  Master Torgo, 80's Jeff, Dr. Vlarg, Deeb and Commander K talk about what poisoned their impressionable young eyes as children and made them the movie and TV-viewing nerds they are today.  Do those tired old shows stand the test of time?  Do those crusty old reels of celluloid even stand a chance against today's ultra-violent hyper-sexual fare?  Let's find out.

It's a GeekShock Special, the first of many!  Master Torgo, 80's Jeff, Dr. Vlarg, Deeb and Commander K talk all about the Games (video games, role-playing games and otherwise) that made them the geeks they are today, and how those games stand up to today's standards.

We at the Ugly Couch Show Network believe that we would be shirking our nerdly duties if we didn't suggest a healthy serving of Moorcock and Dick for your nerdly intake. Go find some now. While you are searching, we'll tell you about such wondrous things as Bevis & Butthhead 3D, Army of Darkness: The Ride, The top American Authors as voted by General Public, political hackings, and so much more. Have you found any Dick yet? I guess you'll just have to settle for Moorcock, then. 

Oh, it's horrible. So many ugly things happened in the world of Geekdom. Our News You Don't Give a S*#t about section is full, FULL! But we won't let it get our spirits down once you get us off the street. Because, when life gives you lemons, you chuck 'em at other people and that's what you get in this week's Geek Shock; Lemons with NUMLOCK! Enjoy. Warning, NUMLOCK is contagious. If you encounter anyone with NUMLOCK contact your local health provider for immediate sterilization. Not kidding. NUMLOCK is serious.

Geek Shock.  It's like no other gadget that you've ever seen.  Cause it's audio!  Today's team takes you on a wondrous journey to worlds where toys turn on their owners, people can't read their cue cards, Michael Jackson gets his own (virtual) planet, Stewart/Colbert get their own rallies, big brother gets bigger, easy date escape, we get an ambassador to space, Flash gets served with a nice Chianti, Black Widow goes solo, Tarantino (and all of us) lose, we go Back to the Theater, and Super Hero costumes feel GREAT!  So put something in it and... well... a treat comes dancing out.

OMG! Did you hear about the time that 80's Jeff and his friend tried to eat a ten pound pizza in 45 minutes? Well, you will on this week's Geek Shock. Besides 80's gastrointestinal issues, you will also learn how not to do cut scenes, how to smell like a book, How to improve the sales of your waning Archie brand, How to screw the people who already overpaid for your processor, how to get Alyssa Milano to be your friend (for 90 days), How DC comics got their movie groove back, How to diversify your zoo, how to waste even more time on WOW, How to embrace your knighthood, How to reason with the Supreme Court, When to buy your used games (answer: quickly, before you can't anymore), how to buy a Stargate, How to spin your Deadpool, and when to say goodbye to an old friend. That's a lotta learnin' and that's just the kind of resume-pumping information you get on this week's GEEK SHOCK.