Regular Features

Hey babe. It's us. The podcast. In this episode, Steve questions whether the Queer Eye Fab 5 will ever escape their purgatory hellscape, Joe peruses a jaggedy raggedy jazz mag, and Log gets down to pranktown... old-school style. Love you!

Hello, I am Kevin McCallister from the movie Home Alone. I grew up and am currently an unemployed surveyor. In my spare time I like to listen to podcasts about rats, Oakie Doke, the Tomb Raider's Monzo card and why Gav is a burglar in waiting. That is why I endorse Regular Features.

Matt describes a whole day without water, Joe takes us STRAIGHT to the heart of Hellywood, Log reminds us that Roseanne exists. Nobody dies.

The boys are trapped! The snow has absolutely done them in but we've got emergency tape broadcasts from all of them(except Joe, who is dead) Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures Next Live Show April 9th: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Steve scoots. Joe roots (for ferns). And Matt kazoots. You gotta love 'em! We have a new live show! Won't you come please? http://canalcafetheatre.com

Maaaaaan, we have some heartbroken readers. Here's a collection of some of the saddest real-life love stories you guys sent us this week. We hope you are OK because we think you're lovely. Fancy chucking in some of your sad pennies? Go here: https://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures Fancy coming to our April live show? https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507 Remember there's no live show in March.

Live at the Canal Cafe Theatre, Log is a whale scientist, Steve is spooking you into terrible trouble, Joe is ALSO spooking you but in a different way and honestly I like it, and Matt is losing the plot at an alarming pace. IN PANGAEA.

Gav mocks funeral hashtags! Steve makes us all little! Joe busts the truth wide open! Matt replied to all of these ideas with courtesy and humour! GET IT IN YA Please come and watch us live at the Canal Cafe Theatre on February 5th as well: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

Welcome to the podcast that has the same description text every week! This time, Matt gives everyone the chance to be UKIP leader, Log The Incredible Porn Star asks you to name the celebrities he's serviced, and Steve has been dealing with an unusual cocktail of shit and acid.

Hey now, what's that sound - everybody look what's going down... It's this episode of Regular Features, "down"-loading onto your favourite devices! NOTE: While Regular Features is an audio file, the downloading process shouldn't be audible. If you can hear this episode downloading, your wi-fi might be in pain. Please check to see if you are living in a dystopian near-future in which the screaming souls of the dead are used to carry data. Anyway: Joe does a letter from a friend, Gav gets into hot ebay water, and Log brings in his very dear friend Eartha Kitt

Joe's off to meet some beasts, Gav's had his boxers robbed and Steve's on a sweet little pub quiz vibe. Waheeeey. Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures Come see out live show: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

Oh look at that pie on the windowsill! Why not take a bite? Mother will never know. Surprise, baby, you just ate FEATURES. Now you've got an acute case of the GIGGLES, idiot.

Steve sings a Christmas classic, Gav gives a windy tour of his hometown, Matt celebrates the legacy of Gaz Coombes, Log is having a bloody awful week, and Joe wants to get you in the NEW YEARS MOODS.

We bought a load of dead celebrities off eBay and ate them. Think that sounds sad? Well, it is. Please give us money so we can buy more celebrity ash: https://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

A Christmas Live Show! (Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hTZIstky2s ) Steve revisits The House of Kramble, Log takes a journalistic deep-dive into the shadowy world of Bingo, Matt sings a lovely Christmas song, and Santana returns with the spirit of festive cheer, which he illegally stole from a nursing home in Stoke.

2 boys, 5 features, no borders, one love, 99 luftballons. CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW! 11th DECEMBER! BUY! https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

Hey grumblecakes, why you lookin' so down? Perhaps you'd like to drape this hot towel of a podcast over your face and allow our comedy steam to open your audience pores? Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you. You'd like the evaporating fun to cool your listener skin, and create a pleasant sensation known only as THE NICE TIMES. Steve is back from Galapagos, Log is Royal Marriage Mad, and Gavin spoke to a woman who was very complimentary about our trade. Would you please come to our CHRISTMAS LIVESHOW SPECIAL? All the freakin' details are here, and there aren't many tickets left. We're expecting you! canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

Travel back to 2002 for a song lyric examination, then back to 2017 for some bang up-to-date film reviews, and then to the FUTURE OF MUSHROOMS. Whew, you must be exhausted! Why not kick back and relax by paying us money to watch us do a CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW on the 11th December: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507

Steve cruelly turned down a job as Gav and Joe's Associate Hot Ass Provider - but we've headhunted a new candidate with the hottest ass in Nottingham. Will he make the grade??? Our next live show is a Christmas Special, and it is extra special because we forgot to book the theatre, so it's on the SECOND Monday of the month - December 11th. Please come: https://canalcafetheatre.com/

We're sorry it's late, it's just that we're absolute idiots. SPOOKS! CUBAN DANCE RHYTHMS! SHOE FETISHISM! SWAN MURDER! REGULAR FEATURES? REGULAR FEATURES.