Dealing With My Grief

As I turn 50 this week I have a lot to be thankful for... I'm half way to 100 I decided that I need to live life despite what's happened to me I can be an inspiration to others I think it's important to look back and figure out how to make adjustments to get through adversity. As I often do I take a look back at where I used to be emotionally and how I ended up here. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

This week I want to focus on a few pieces of feedback I received from listeners. One person wanted to know why I don't talk about spousal loss and another is dealing with people questioning being vocal about a loss that has happened a few years ago. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I took a week away from the microphone to take a vacation and go fishing on Lake Ontario. While sitting on the lake I realized that being on the lake and trying to catch some salmon was a lot like life and my grief recovery process. Picture of the big king salmon I caught: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/podcast/episode-78 Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

While looking at Youtube, I came across some clips of the Matrix. This got me thinking about how Neo's journey to find the truth about his existence mirrored somewhat my grief recovery process. Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

In Episode 15, Games and Grief, I talked about how I found chess and it was a vehicle for keeping me out of trouble and hor really helping me center myself. However, I did not go into any great detail about how it really impacted my grief recovery process. This week I reflect on the focus, patience, an the ability to re-evaluate the issues affecting my life and more importantlly my grief recovery process has taught me. Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

This week marks the 44th anniversary of the passing of Bruce Lee. it wasn't until recently that discovered the Bruce lee podcast hosted by Shannon Lee and her friend Sharon Lee. While I had heard of Bruce Lee's teachings as a martial artist, I soon discovered that his teachings really where about life itself. while his teachings and philosophy are really quite simple, I have a tendency to over complicate things... especially when dealing with grief. Check out the Bruce Lee podcast - https://www.brucelee.com/podcast/ Bruce Lee "Be Water" quote - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJMwBwFj5nQ Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

This week's episode is dedicated to the memory of my cousin Brian and my cat Cody who both passed away this week. One of the ways that my cousin affected my life in a positive way was though the music he listened to. People in my neighborhood didn't listen to rock music, but my cousin did, and he didn't really care who know. This taught me that it was OK to be different. My cat Cody reminded me that just like a cat, I might just have nine lives myself. This week's call to action: Make sure to tell those around you how they have made a positive influence on your life. Don't wat untill they are gone to reflect on this. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (or

I had the opportunity to discuss my loss with Win Charles, author of the book 'I, Win' who lost her mother a few years ago. What makes Win so amazing is the fact that she doesn't let the fact that she has cerebral palsy hold her back. In her own words, she is, "an able bodied person who happens to have cerebral palsy." Enjoy!

A few weeks ago while attending a family get togeter of family members I hadn't seen in year, someone approached my and told me that I didn't look like my father anymore. This made me take a step back on what members of my family and my father's friends used to tell me, "You look just like your father!" This week I examine exactly how this made or even still makes me feel. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

There are many people who I have allowed to "lean on me." In other words, I've been willing to help them in any way that I could when they needed something. Eventually I needed to learn that it was OK to lean back. Lean on me by Bill Withers Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

I've received a lot of feedback from people that see their family dynamic deteriorate after some type of loss. I am fortunate in that in times of need my family rally and around each other and be become stronger because of it. I wish everyone could be so fortunate! Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

As Father's Day approaches, I am confronted with the fact that I am forced to deal with the fact that I have to live without my loved ones... as opposed to grieving their loss. For this I used to sometimes get jealous. Does this make me selfish? Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

A few weeks ago, I aske d you to tell me what books you were reading and the music that you liked that helped you with your grief... and here are your responses! Books  The Bereaved Parent by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff A Grief Observed by CS Lewis The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by by Meghan O'Rourke Blue Nights by Joan Didion Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair By Anne Lamott The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents by Alexander Levy Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg Music Reflecting Light - Sam Phillips -   To Where you are - Josh Groban  Bob Dylan and Jimmy Hendrix This Flight Tonight - Joni Mitchell Not Even The Trees - Hootie and the Blowfish Blogs: Mockingbirds at Midnight - Margaret Sloan And even though I didn't ask, here are some other podcasts: Grief Dreams Dear Dougy Podcast Griefcast Where’s the Grief Good Grief with Cheryl Jones Thanks to all who provided feedback. If you'd like to add

I am deathly afraid of heights. However, I needed to confront my fear while attending the Air Assault School at Ft. Campbell, KY. During this course, you are required to complete not one but two "high" obstacles. I completed one, but was injured on the second. I needed to convince myself that I could do something outside of my comfort zone. As a byproduct, I've learned that just because I've done something once doesn't me it'll be any easier the second time. but I can confront the anguish and anxiety that my mind feeds me to push through and achieve anything. Confidence Climb YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCNhsbjX9Tk Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided b

I hate paying bills... It's a repetitive process that is a necessary evil in life. If we fail deal with our monthly obligations, we suffer dire consequences and life becomes stressful. Grief is a bill that we pay as a price for losing a loved one. We must deal with it as it comes... if we put it off, the pain and stress of not facing it could overwelm us. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

In this episode of the Dougy Podcast, I had an opportunity to discuss how and why I decided to start a podcast about my grief, my relationship with my father and we talk about what I've learned about myself, if anything, since starting the podcast. Enjoy!

This episode is dedicated to Marsha Cooke in the memory of Darwyn Cooke. As I record this episode, it is the 1 year anniversary of Darwyn Cooke's death. for those who may not know, Darwyn was a Canadian comic book writer, artist, cartoonist, and animator. He drew covers for the Batman comic franchise, including working on a project that my son loved, Batman beyond in which Bruce Wayne turns the responsibility of being Batman to a teenage boy. One of the reasons I like Batman is because our stories are similar... His parents are murdered while he is a young boy, but somehow he fights through all of that pain and decides to channel that pain into something positive - fighting crime. The timing of this episode is important to me, because Darwyn's widow Marsha was the first person whom I didn't know who sent me a piece of feedback. I believe we all have an "inner grief superhero" inside of us, that is something that we have that can help others that are grieving. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to

Is there really a "boys don't cry culture?" I never saw my father cry, and when he died, I didn't see any other me display a lot of emotion either. But at the same time, no one told me I SHOULDN'T cry. I think it may come down to two things: 1. Men and women are just wired differently. I watched an episode of "Brain Games"  - http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/brain-games/episodes/battle-of-the-sexes/ 2. Some men are able to get in touch with there so called "feminine side" Why does it appear that men have a problem showing/talking about their emotions? Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

I completely lost it last week as I remembered the anniversary of my father's death. That got me to thinking about the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. and how I have many different emotional states that I sometimes can't manage to control. NOTE - I just realized that I mention "her" in the podcast... That would be my mother. Sorry, Mom!! Also let me know if there are any songs/books that help you read/listen to and how the help you in your grief recovery process. Thanks!! Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

I recorded this episode on Monday as I always do, and was also  attempting to release this episode early. I normally release episodes on Wednesday. After recording his episode, however, I was so overcome with emotion that I wasn't able to edit it until today. Monday was the 39th anniversary of my father's death. Since he also died on a Monday - April 24, 1978 and this episode was recorded on Monday, April 24, 2017 today was just much more emotional for me than I thought it would be. R.I.P. Dad - I love you! Thanks for listening and continuing to follow me on my journey! Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com