Your Anxiety Toolkit

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking about facing your fears with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, or Dr. Z for short. Dr. Z is a licensed clinical psychologist in California treating clients with OCD, anxiety and trauma. She has written several amazing books including Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and The ACT Workbook for Teens with OCD. In our interview, Dr. Z discusses how to use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to augment treatment of OCD, social anxiety, panic disorder, and phobias. Dr. Z shares with us WHY facing your fears is so important and something you should want to do! In this episode, Dr. Z talks about, 1. Ruling your thoughts and how to unpack them. 2. How to date your mind. 3. How to know which behaviors are working and which are not. 4. How to find values that energize you. 5. Create your own ERP menu that includes your own triggers and avoidant behaviors. 6. Learn how to react using wisdom. 7. Learn how to id

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Recently we have talked a lot about self-compassion. If you go back to episodes 134, 146, and 147, you will see self-compassion mentioned a lot. Today we are going to expand on that discussion by learning how to write ourselves a self-compassion letter.  I have actually been doing this with my clients for years and it really just involves putting your self-compassion into words which can actually be so helpful. There are several steps in writing your self-compassion letter. The first step is to show awareness of your struggle. You might say “I see that you are having a hard time.” Whatever it is, just bring it to your awareness and write it down. The second step is bringing in some words of unconditional love. No matter how much you are suffering, you still get to be loved and cared for. The third step is to show yourself some empathy for the distress you are in. You might say “I see you. I see the pain you are going through. I can relate t

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking with Christian Newman about managing health anxiety.  Christian is an anxiety coach who has done a lot of work learning to manage his own health anxiety and today he is sharing with us the tools that he has used to help regain his life from health anxiety.  In this interview, Christian shares his own struggle with health anxiety and how it impacted his daily life. He shares how a terrifying panic attack led him on a journey to discover how to deal with his health anxiety. He shares with us several important tools that he has used to help him effectively manage his health anxiety. The first tool is the contract that he made with himself. In this contract, Christian wrote down everything that he was going to do to overcome his anxiety. This included stress management, diet, exercise routine, and sleep habits. Once he made this contract, he committed to taking action in his own life. One of the first actions tha

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to talk with you all about the feelings of uncertainty you may have coming out of COVID-19. As we slowly begin to move out of quarantine, a lot of my patients and clients have started to talk about how scary it is to go back into life because there are so many uncertainties. Coming out of a difficult time requires us to accept change while staying in the uncertainty. When we begin coming out of COVID-19, we must face this sort of uncertainty, not knowing whether it will stay or whether it will get better or if it will come back. What is it going to look like in six months? What is it going to look like in a year? These are the questions we are all asking and because we are asking those big, big questions, we are going to have big, big emotions about them. Having these big emotions does not mean that you are not handling this well.  It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. My hope is to give you permission to have the

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to talk about a really important topic: learning to trust yourself.  Trust is so important for our feelings of safety and security. So often I hear from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression that they do not trust themselves. Today I want to share with you all a metaphor about trust, that I love, and I think it will help you conceptualize how to look at trust. This is a metaphor that Brene Brown has talked about a lot. She said that when you meet somebody they have an empty jar (metaphorically) and overtime as they show you in little ways, it might be their consideration, their respect for you, maybe they remembered your birthday, perhaps they sent you a little care package, every time they do something nice for you one marble is placed in the jar. If they do another small thing, you put another marble in the jar and overtime that jar fills up. This is how we experience a sense of trust for that person. Trust is

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have on the podcast an amazing guest, Heather Hansen. Heather is a trial attorney, television legal analyst, and author of The Elegant Warrior: How to Win Life’s Trials Without Losing Yourself. Heather shares how we can learn to become a better advocate for ourselves using many of the same tools that she has used in the courtroom.  In this episode, Heather details the “tools of an advocate” that you can use to help win over your own self jury, that critical voice in your head that may say “You’re not good enough. Things aren’t going to work out. It’s time to be anxious.”  One of the tools Heather discusses involves collecting evidence when faced with self-doubt or worry. She suggests writing down, at the end of the day, what has made you proud. By collecting evidence, you start to build credibility with yourself. You can’t advocate for yourself unless you believe in yourself. Collecting evidence, building credibility and believing in y

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. Today I want to talk to you about anger. I have talked about anger before, but this time is a little bit different. I want to tell you why anger is your friend. When I say that to people, they usually have a reaction and they say “No, it’s not. Anger is horrible. Anger makes me uncomfortable.” I think we have anger all wrong because society tells us it’s wrong. We are told “You are not allowed to be angry. It is disrespectful to be angry. You’re overreacting. You are so insecure.” Those are the messages we so often receive about anger and they only direct us away from listening to our anger. Let’s first discuss, what is anger? Anger is an emotion that you feel and it is usually a reaction to some kind of injustice or some kind of threat. If you have been wronged, you feel angry about it. If you feel like you are physically or emotionally in danger, anger is usually the emotion that arises. Anger is just one emotion in our toolkit and it

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to share with you one of my favorite topics of all time: how to access your compassionate voice. You may be thinking what exactly does that mean?  Well it means helping you to get in touch with the compassion that lives inside each of you. So often my clients and patients say to me “I don’t know how to access compassion” or “I don’t know what that even feels like.” Here is the thing. Your compassionate voice has always been inside of you, but sometimes other messages are simply louder. If you learn to listen deeply for it than it becomes so much easier to pick up. That little voice inside of you is ready to speak up and it is ready to fill you with a loving sense of self-compassion. During this episode, I walk you through how to begin to access your compassionate voice. You start by closing your eyes, following your breath and asking yourself some questions. These questions help you to tap into your compassionate voice and

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to talk with you about self-compassion and to give you a compassion tool to try if you are struggling with feeling worthy, deserving, or comfortable with self-compassion. In order to understand this tool, I want you to imagine a scenario. Let’s imagine you are having a moment of fear. In that moment, you may naturally engage in a safety behavior, something that protects you from the fear. Safety behaviors are natural. We as humans have learned to protect ourselves by getting away from danger. However, a problem that often comes with safety behaviors is the unintended consequence. If you have social anxiety and your safety behavior is to avoid social interactions then the unintended consequence may be that you feel lonely. So if you have a fear and you engage in a safety behavior that leads to unintended consequences, you may then judge yourself for how poorly you handled a situation. Here is where the compassion tool comes

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to share with you the five thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. I know we are in a stage right now where we are all trying to adapt to our new normal. Over the past week, I have noticed a few thoughts that have come up with clients about our current situation that I want to share with you.  Here we go. These are the 5 thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. 1. “I cannot handle this.”  This is really important because if you are telling yourself that you cannot handle it then chances are you probably won’t. What I would love for you to say instead is, "I can do hard things.” You don't have to do it perfectly, but you absolutely can handle it. 2. “I am going crazy indoors." It is easy to start feeling claustrophobic if you are constantly reminding yourself that you are indoors or cooped up. Instead try switching this statement to “It’s hard for me to be indoors.” I also think it is really important if you

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have Heather Lillico on the podcast.  Heather is a registered holistic nutritionist, yoga instructor, as well as a delightful human being. Today she is going to discuss how nutrition can impact mental health. Heather shares a little bit about her own mental health journey and how that led her to explore the connection between nutrition and mental wellness. Heather discusses what it means to be a holistic nutritionist. She explains that she focuses a great deal on the whole person, not only how nutrition can impact mental health, but also how a person’s sleep patterns and exercise can as well.  Heather shares some really helpful and fascinating information about how nutrition can impact mental health along with some slights changes you can make in your day to day life to improve your mental health. She takes some time explaining the role that a variety of different nutrients play in our mental well being. Heather does a beautiful job

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to remind you that you can do hard things! In this episode, I spend some time talking with you about how important it is to validate all the feelings you are experiencing during this difficult time. With so much going on around the world, there are so many emotions, so many feelings. And I think that we sometimes forget to stop and say, "Wow, this is hard for me," or "Oh, this is a moment of real suffering and struggle for me," or "I'm noticing I'm having a lot of anxiety." It is so important to make space for all those feelings. To acknowledge and validate those feelings and to create a safe place for those emotions to be there as this event rises and falls. In this episode, I share with you all a little bit about how I am working to validate my own emotions when I am having moments that are difficult. The most important thing I want you all to take away from this episode and to remember during this very, very difficult time is: "

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. You guys, you are going to love this episode with one of my favorite poets of all time, The Poetry Bandit. Jon Lupin, aka The Poetry Bandit joins us today to tell us his story about sobriety, OCD, relationships, mental health and how poetry has helped him through.  This is a story about honesty, vulnerability, and commitment. The Poetry Bandit shares his story and together we talk about some of the hidden meanings of his poetry. Jon and I got to read a few of his poetry pieces and talk about how he manages his anxiety, OCD, and sobriety while being a father, employee, friend and poet.  If you get a chance, check out The Poetry Bandit's books of poetry. The links are below.   Encyclopedia of a Broken Heart: Poems You Only Love Me When I'm Suffering: Poems My Sober Little Moon Jon's Instagram @the_poetrybandit Please join the IOCDF for a COVID-19 & OCD Live Townhall. Saturday March 28th at 2 PM EST. Bring your questions for Kimber

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today’s podcast, I want to provide you all with an easy mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety. These are tough times, I know. It is overwhelming and there is a lot of information out there. In this episode, I would like to encourage you to step away from the tools that everybody is giving you right now and hopefully provide you with an easy tool that will help you in the deepest, darkest, moments of struggling. Now I am still going to strongly encourage you to reduce your consumption of news and to receive your news from one reputable source for a limited amount of time per day. I also want to encourage you to get support right now. Reach out to your people, every single day. In this episode, I also want to give you this mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety that you may have heard me mention before. It is actually a four step mindfulness tool known by the acronym, RAIN. The R in RAIN is for RECOGNIZE. This tool

I cannot tell you how often I get asked about how anxiety impacts sex. Social media followers often ask questions that involve how anxiety decreases sex drive, how sexual arousal can occur at unwanted times and the impact medication has on sexual arousal and orgasm.  In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we have Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy to speak about all things anxiety and sex. Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy is a certified sex therapist, psychologist, and upcoming author and she answered all of my questions on how anxiety impacts sex.  When discussing the topic, Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy answered the following questions:  How can we refocus on the present when anxious? Does anxiety impact orgasm? Can anxiety cause sex to be painful? How to handle arousal related to unwanted, intrusive thoughts? How to manage strong feelings about sex, such as desire but also repulsion? How to manage sex hygiene? Will medication impact sexual arousal? Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/d

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today's podcast, I give an account of how I manage health anxiety, both when managing medical issues and during medical tests. With all of the fear related to the Coronavirus, health anxiety is becoming a very scary word. Many with OCD are impacted by this because doctors and authorities are telling them to be concerned. This is very much the same when you are dealing with a medical issue and it can be hard to differentiate what is appropriate and what is fear-related. In this episode, I address how to manage health anxiety from many different perspectives and I hope you find it helpful. Please check out this post about managing health anxiety over the coronavirus. https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/managing-ocd-about-coronavirus/ ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 6 hou

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs.  Here are the main points Katy covers. * At first if you don't succeed, try, try again. * There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. * Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery. * Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. The

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are talking about how travel is the best ERP and how you can use travel to help conquer your fears. Today we are joined by Gilad Gamliel from the popular blog, www.anxiousandabroad.com. In this episode, Gilad Gamliel discusses how travel can be the best ERP especially for those who struggle with anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder. Gilad is 27 years old and has health anxiety and OCD. He shares how OCD and anxiety tried to confine him and keep him living a small and “safe” life, but for some reason, he was pulled towards taking a leap and trying travel. Gilad shares that he originally thought “travel just isn't for me” because his anxiety was so bad. However, Gilad found there have been many positives to come out of his experience traveling. In this episode, he shares why someone should travel and the benefits of traveling with anxiety. He also shares many special tips for traveling with anxiety and OCD. Some of the tips h

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you the 8 things I want you to know. You might be wondering, “How does Kimberley know what I need?” You are correct. I really cannot be sure, but I can guess and I wondered if you needed to hear any of these 8 points.  Here they are:  1) It's ok to feel what you are feeling. You are allowed to feel it all! The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. There is no “right” way to feel. 2) Your thoughts do not define your worth. Not today. Not tomorrow. This is true for every single person. If you are wondering, “If she only knew how bad my thoughts are." I mean you too. There is no thought that disqualifies you or depletes your worth.  3) There is nothing you need to change. Nope! You are perfect, even with all of your imperfections. Hey, you are perfect because of your imperfections.  4) You are supported. Lean on the CBT School Facebook group if you are feeling alone. 5) We will not give up on you. When I say “we” I actually mean YOU

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders.  The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses: You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame.  You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility. You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions. You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible.  You intensely focus on tasks, using ac